What is college application season going to be like?

Parents Forum
1

<p>This question is especially for parents who have been through this before. What’s it like?</p>

<li> Paradise</li>
<li> Limbo, pleasant if dull</li>
<li> The Fourth Circle of Hell, where you will be forced to move great boulders without rest</li>
<li> The Eight Circle of Hell, where you will be blinded by your very tears</li>
<li> The very center of Hell, where you will take Judas’ place and be flayed by Lucifer himself</li>
</ol>

<p>I’m just trying to get a general idea of what to expect in a couple of months. Thanks.</p>

2

<p>lol, well i would cross number 1 and 2 off the list right now! i’m not thinking it will be particularly pleasant. most will have to be done by phone and email btwn son and i. I think i’m going to suggest using a new gmail account we both have access to for applications so i will know when things come in and deadlines etc. he’ll be home a total of 5 days this summer once the common app goes online, and then 1st school break wont be until sept and i know one deadline for him is mid september. and somewhere in there are 2 more colleges he wanted to visit</p>

3

<p>If you’re a working couple or single parent - it’s an added job and requires planning, lots of planning.</p>

<p>The best thing we did was set up a timetable for testing, applications, essays. . . We used the summer months for lots of leg worth - finding out all the details, doing as much paperwork as we could, getting everything ready to go and thinking about the strategy.</p>

<p>My child’s strategy ended up being apply to safeties and number one choice early action and early decision. That left him in December with good choices even if he didn’t get into his ed school. Then he had a host of other colleges ready to go if he didn’t get into his ed school.</p>

<p>I think it’s a self-searching, family-values kind of process. What are your family values around post-secondary education - what fits your vision for financial commitment, your child’s life . . . Also, who is your child - what makes him or her tick - their passions, interests, social profile. . .</p>

<p>Choosing schools that are a good match for your family values and child’s profile is the way to go. Also choosing schools that are safeties, just right, and reaches is important - make sure your child likes all the choices as who knows how the dice will fall.</p>

<p>It’s an emotional roller coaster year - this is your child branching out from the nest, beginning his/her life. It’s endless what he/she can do in this process - but time and money are limitations so planning is important.</p>

<p>You’re smart to test the waters. . .good luck!</p>

4

<p>parent56, using a common email account is a great idea!</p>

5

<p>It’s a little bit of everything. If you’re a parent, it can be pestering (“get those essays done!”), it can be nagging, it can be consoling, and if you’re lucky (I am) it can be absolutely exhilarating.</p>

<p>My twins are taking off this upcoming August, and I expect to find out that it can be bittersweet as well.</p>

<p>The best advice I can give is this: Enjoy the experience, whatever it turns out to be for you.</p>

6

<p>know my son… i have called and asked him to forward some emails to me he received a few weeks ago, still waiting! i sort of tried it out when arranging last 2 college visits, as i needed to know times of meetings he set up to arrange flights, so i think it should work.</p>

7

<p>I think it really depends on the family and how much of a stake or influence the parents have on the child. My parents had no interest in my college admissions odyssey and did not see any of my applications, forms, or even official notification (for some reason everything, including parent-addressed envelopes, was sent to my boarding school instead of to my home). The most impact my parents made was when my dad refused to pay application fees, but even that didn’t matter too much as I had money of my own and was able to pay them myself. All testing registration and paperwork things were taken care of by me, and I didn’t have to do financial aid stuff, so the only questions I asked my parents were “Where did you go for college?” for the Common App and, once, “Are you free to drive me to my SATs in two months?” (They weren’t; I walked; it was all good.)</p>

<p>That said, I think apart from the filling out of forms, college admissions season is a very rough time emotionally for parents. Your child is finally leaving the nest, and that’s a tough prospect! Also, some children really aren’t as concerned about getting into a “good” college (or even going to college at all) as you might be. I didn’t start on any of my applications, all due between Dec 31st and Jan 15th, until Christmas Day and I know that definitely took a stress toll on my mother!</p>

8

<p>Bouda, you sound like you know where you’re headed and what you’re doing. Best of luck as you navigate your college years.</p>

9

<p>parent56:</p>

<p>I second the motion on a joint email account. Sand I set up such a gmail account a few months ago. So the only college related info that won’t be going to that email is info from College Board, since we can’t be bothered at this point to change it (plus I have that password anyway, since he didn’t have computer access when the AP results cam out last year and wanted me to be able to give him what was great news.</p>

10

<p>I did not think of a joint email account so I had S use the family account and I forward info to him–that way I weed out some of the unimportant</p>

11

<p>mantori, I’d suggest you ask that question on this thread. <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/710066-parents-college-class-2013-a.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/710066-parents-college-class-2013-a.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>And I’ll answer it for my part:
For parents who are involved in the process, it is a wild roller-coaster ride with crazy, frustrating, stress-filled lows (will this kiddo ever finish that stinking 500-word essay? why does he take the deadlines so literally – doesn’t he know that an application submitted 15 minutes early will be accepted too? why does kiddo insist on waiting until 5/1 to make a decision, as if one of the “final two” colleges is going to drop off the planet at midnight on 4/30? why such adamant refusal to write one little page when the payoff could be thousands of scholarship dollars? how is kiddo ever going to manage a college schedule without me there nagging every step of the way?).</p>

<p>And exhilerating, breathtaking, tear-jerking highs (he performed so beautifully in the concert, the musical, the last game of the season… mother’s day poem melted mom into tears… smashed another academic “first” at his school… did mom’s laundry out of the blue… extended such kindness to a younger student… lost a hard-fought battle with exceeding grace and humility… accepted to all these great schools with all this merit aid… wow, is this amazing, competent, mature individual really the same kid who grew up in my house?).</p>

<p>Highs and lows. Even bouda’s parents, who were relatively uninvolved, apparently expressed some “concern” over the deadlines – and no doubt have swelled with pride over her independence and maturity.</p>

<p>It’s the best of times and the worst of times. A time of incredible growth for student *and<a href=“imho”>/I</a> parent. A time of happy successes, character-building failures, and nail-biting times in between. A time when, if you haven’t already begun and even if you have, you will learn to let go and trust in the young adult you’ve raised… when one day you’ll wonder if anything you ever tried to teach your kid has made any impact whatsoever, and the next day you’ll know it has… when one of you will storm to a bedroom and slam the door, and then you’ll both take a deep breath and get on with things… when you’ll glance up at a near-stranger sitting on your couch or across the table, and simultaneously see a full-grown man or woman taking care of business and the big-eyed, chocolate-faced toddler reaching up with chubby hands for a piggy-back ride. And when summer winds down, you may lament, “I just found out what a fascinating, charming, fun person my kid has become… and now, :(, he’s leaving!”</p>

<p>At the end of your roller-coaster ride, you will completely understand the 2013 thread’s frequent calls for “hair coloring and margarita mix!” And if you walk a little wobbly, CC parents will understand. ;)</p>

<p>Fasten your seatbelts and hold onto your hats and glasses.</p>

12

<p>Oh #5, for sure! Followed closely by Numbers 3 and 4! </p>

<p>The quicker you want them to move, the slower they will move. The things you think they should do, they will either do when they want to do them or not at all, or do them without telling you and then treat it like the great cosmic joke it is. They have all the power! How did that happen? Where did I sign up for “these are my college apps, and this is how I will do them, and you don’t have a horse in this race, Mom!”
“But…but…I READ COLLEGECONFIDENTIAL…”<br>
“Oh, and that’s another thing, Mom”</p>

<p>But I loved your post, Mantori! You sound like my kind of person. Funny! Stay funny, even though you might want to put your head through the wall in frustration.</p>

<p>And you will get through this. And just when the dust settles, next April, and S or D hugs you and says “Thanks, Mom/Dad, I couldn’t have done it without you.” And the sun comes out and the birds sing, and then they graduate and then they LEAVE. Waaaaah!</p>

<p>Parenthood: If it hurts, you’re doing it right!</p>

<p>AnudduhMom
parent of S#1, who efiled his apps on Dec. 28, for Jan. 1 deadline (boy was that a fun Christmas)
parent of S#2, who said “There’s nothing for you to do. I already did them and sent them.” (yikes)
parent of D – who will be taking me on this journey this year, in her own special way!</p>

13

<p>

Geek_mom’s got it right. </p>

<p>In many ways, it wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be. Ds was one of the mega-application kids (15), and that caused some stress with multiple finaid deadlines. </p>

<p>The outcome wasn’t what we expected in some ways. But I think my son learned a lot about himself in the process.</p>