<p>This is really complicated and long story, and I don't know if this is normal for me to feel this way or not.</p>
<p>Last year, I moved to a different state, different school, different neighborhood, different everything. I can't remember how it started, but I remember telling my parents in December when my brother took SAT that I felt lonely. I wasn't motivated anymore or focused; my grades dipped a little to more Bs. It was really hard for me to concentrate on things. I remember I kept daydreaming or playing the game of solitare, even though it was getting really really boring. It was normal for me to daydream, but last year, I was daydreaming most of the day like 99% (Okay, I can exaggerate, but you get the point). It was so hard for me to complete tasks, even easy ones. I withdrew myself from my family- I stopped being affectionate or talking at the dinner table. When I went to school, I smiled or laughed whenever I was with my friends. I thought I was just angry at my family or something. When I was at home, I was always in my room with blinds closed and little light-my mom always called me a vampire because I didn't like sunlight. Sleep? I slept a little bit, but I always woke up at 5 am and sometimes did nothing since. I rarely had crying spells; two times, my mom said hello to me when she entered into a room, I suddenly cried for no reason. Last year was awful for me; I had no self-esteem. I was cynical and had a negative perceptive of life. I think I had burnout or anger at my family, but my family thought I had mild depression or something. They wanted to take me to a psychologist, but I simply said no. </p>
<p>So, last summer, my parents had a serious talk with me. They told me to go outside much more often, interact with people more, and become more affectionate. Since I was always tired, I should drink caffeine. So, because I didn't like coffee or tea, I decided to drink soda pop every morning. Over the summer, my self-esteem increased a little bit. At the same time, I was still angry and bored of life. </p>
<p>When I started another year in high school, I felt better about life but still little angry. My self-esteem went up; I was motivated again and did very well in classes. I talked to my family more often. I became more alert, like I am back on the Earth. My soda pop became my best friend...I first drank it 2 times a day, then 3 times, and then 4 times. Eventually, I got leg cramps and headaches almsot everyday. So, I stopped, but then got bad headaches or felt really grumpy or sad the next day without consuming soda pop. Frustrated, I went back to 2, and stopped having headaches, even though I didn't drink water. I notice that I sometimes have mood swings. Usually I get little sad for no reason or just angry. Then, I drink soda pop; all of sudden, I feel happy again and little perky. Is this normal? I don't know what I am feeling right now. I feel little confused and lost. I also feel trapped. But then, later, I feel everything is great and awesome. Then, I go back to negative feelings. This keeps going on in one single day! What is going on?!! Do I still have negative emotions from last year?</p>