I never refused. I told, ahead of time, that I don’t have money. Someone else was always paying for me.
<when ana="" barros="" first="" stepped="" into="" harvard="" yard="" as="" a="" freshman,="" she="" felt="" so="" out="" of="" place="" might="" well="" have="" had="" the="" words="" “low="" income”="" written="" on="" her="" forehead.="">
Pathetically tragic 
Ana Barros is a low income student but wish to pretend that she is a rich girl
I was a low income, immigrant Latina … and I was never hiding it … and I never feel uncomfortable about it. Why should I?
<she opted="" for="" a="" single="" her="" freshman="" year,="" because="" she="" felt="" self-conscious="" about="" sharing="" room="" with="" someone="" from="" more="" privileged="" background.="" “="">
< Barros quickly became close with two other low-income students with whom she seemed to have more in common. She couldn’t relate to her peers who talked about buying $200 shirts or planning exotic spring break vacations.>
,“Admitting you’re poor to your peers is sometimes too painful,” she says.>
This girl has a lot of issues. Why can’t she be proud PROUD of her family, her heritage, her achievements, her traditions … ???
This depends on the circle of students one hangs out with.
However, the bigger issue related to the article is Columbia’s bureaucracy has had a history of not always being responsive to students needs in the experience of friends who are Columbia alums.
One interesting question is how much of this is expensive tastes and how much of it is it about transplants from outside NYC who don’t know/don’t want to bother finding hole-in-the-wall restaurants which are not only uniquely NY, but also much easier on the wallets.
Also, if someone/a social group is going out most/every weekend(s), he/she’s either unusually on top of his/her academic/co-curricular/EC work or has some seriously misplaced priorities somewhere.
I put that up there so the discussion isn’t restricted to Ivy colleges. Respectable is in the eye of the beholder so please, make of that what you will and don’t assume the most uncharitable interpretation. 
Even the most serious student can usually manage to fit one social or recreational activity into each weekend.
Does anyone who actually lives in a large house call it a mansion? The ones I’ve known have simply called it their house.
<i don’t="" think="" anyone="" there="" had="" any="" understanding="" of="" the="" barriers="" between="" ses="" categories.=""><i don’t="" think="" anyone="" there="" had="" any="" understanding="" of="" the="" barriers="" between="" ses="" categories.="">
I think the barriers exist in you conscience, only. It is a glass ceiling that some people create for themselves.
- I am too poor
- I am too fat
- I am too short
<one of="" the="" very="" positive="" experiences="" my="" kids="" got="" from="" going="" to="" an="" in-state="" school="" (wealthy="" people="" in="" our="" state="" usually="" go="" private="" or="" out="" schools)="" was="" meeting="" a="" lot="" students="" who="" were="" putting="" themselves="" through="" with="" loans="" and="" part="" time="" jobs="" really="" appreciated="" chance="" attend="" classes.="" not="" pressure="" on="" expensive="" spring="" breaks="" have="" fabulous="" possessions.="">
Sorry, but funny. You think that experience with poor kids enriched your kids. But rich kids should be avoided. One-sided diversity
https://hereandnow.wbur.org/2015/04/09/flip-low-income-columbia-students
I just heard this the other day.
What I don’t get is why homeless students aren’t on Medicaid for medical issues, and why they aren’t given help to navigate government aid. And NFN, there are always college students who go into “night work” because they want the money to get them up to middle class or more.
There is “poor” and there is “POOR”. Someone who is poor and complains about not being able buy fancy clothes should look at people who can’t buy new clothes or have to go to the Goodwill or Salvation Army.
When it comes down to it, anyone poor who goes to a top college gets something that many people rich or poor can’t access. That is a good thing. My spouse was poor in college, and he just had no issue with what other people wore (and certainly enough rich kids wore jeans and T-shirts).
When I was growing up, we were “working-class” but at least in a house. My dad lost his job and I guess we were poor, if you call poor surviving on a temp secretary’s salary with four kids. I did not get new clothes (okay, except underwear LOL) for a few years, just hand-me-downs from my siblings or cousins. I never considered ourselves poor because we ate three meals per day and lived in a house. My mom took in a baby to babysit before she got the temp work and my dad was first out of work. Anyway, I never felt poor - because my parents were POOR growing up, really poor as in not being sure when they’ll have meat again (mom) or when they’ll have food again (dad).
I had not much of an issue on the Ivy League campus where I went to school. Very very few people were snobby rich, and the clothing contest died down quickly; no one wanted to be seen as being too different (very few suits after the first few weeks of school).
It bothers me though, when I look at articles that are so anti-“have” to the point that automatically anyone with a few dimes to rub together is considered RICH. And therefore suspect/judgemental/mean. And somehow if you are poor let alone POOR you are on a moral higher ground, that middle class and rich can’t contemplate or reach…
Plenty of kids are spoiled and entitled before stepping foot on campus, and plenty of their parents live above their means. I find it humorous that some of the people who, when we first met 10-20 years ago, did not understand why I didn’t/couldn’t spend money like they did (eating out, going on a lot of fancy vacations, buying SUV’s), are now asking me how on earth we managed to pay for college because it’s their turn to get the bills.
I don’t believe that addressing income disparity is the college’s obligation, but it’s nice they want to help those who are truly disadvantaged.
I think there’s a difference between new money and old money. My roommates in college were old money and they sorta thought everyone was wealthy and had a yacht and two summer homes and a place in Europe and possibly a family jet. They were great roommates irrespective of their family wealth.
You know…mansion. 13 bathrooms. Large, imposing edifice, big gates, long circular driveway with Ferraris and Lamborghinis scattered around.
I know what one is. I just didn’t think people who actually lived in one used the word.
I agree with @californiaa. Some people construct the very barriers they complain about. I really do not understand the purpose of these articles. These types of stories invite bright and talented students to feel victimized simply because of their socio-economic status. Why not feel a heightened sense of accomplishment for your achievements knowing they are truly your own? Many people, and especially teenagers, have insecurities about a lot of things. But my advice to my own children is not to make those insecurities someone else’s issue. They cannot solve it for you. If you like and accept yourself, others will generally follow. And for those who choose not to accept you, who needs friends like that anyway?
When faced with a “real world” landscape all students will eventually encounter people with much more money and connections. That is simply a reality of the world we live in. Whining about that or allowing it to make you feel “less than” just does not seem to be productive to me. Work on your own self confidence and develop skills that might help even the playing field. The vast majority of students with a solid education, reasonable social skills and a decent personal presentation do more than just fine in the working world.
I find articles like this helpful in terms of understanding the realities people live with. I had an immigrant father that came to this country and put himself through college on his own. He worked to pay for books, room and board…etc, and didn’t complain that he had to save while others could go out and enjoy themselves. He just said it was what he had to do and accepted it. He also came across people that were kind and decent that forgave his broken English, as well as learning to acclimatise to a new culture. He had no financial support from his family, and worked to earn merit scholarships to help with his financial burden. He did not have but one pair of shoes and one suitcase to his name when he arrived in this country. He also met people that were mean and unhelpful. But yet, to hear him talk to his family about it as ‘I never felt more alive despite the hardships’, is different from what I read in this article.
I am sorry these kids feel this way, but I also feel that they would benefit from caring less about ‘fitting in’ and going forth with pride in their backgrounds, Who cares if there are rich or elite kids on campus? There are also a lot of kids on these campi that are not elite or rich. Granted there are more than not that are SE advantaged compared to them, but if they got this far in life, then it kills me they aren’t more PROUD than ashamed.
@Marian Dunno. The quotes I originally put up were not from people who might have lived in one. They were from people who appeared to have an inordinate interest in someone else’s SES.
But, how do you identify them to avoid them? Ask them how much their folks make?
Undergraduate students on Medicaid in their home states have to get supplementary insurance if they go to colleges elsewhere. They are not eligible for Medicaid in the state where they attend college.
@californiaaa,
There was a thread some time ago about the difficulty a kid had living with a roommate who had a lot more money than she did. The roommate redecorated the room then expected the less wealthy roommate to split the (to her mind modest) cost. I think that roommate was being particularly insensitive, but sometimes even kids who try to be sensitive miss the mark.
For instance, a classmate with a second home on St. Bart’s may know that when they invite a friend with limited means to fly to the islands with them over spring break they they have to pay for the plane ticket and meals, but do they consider the fact that the friend may not have extra money to blow on a passport, suitcase, non-ratty bathing suit, baggage fees and going out money? From the perspective of the wealthy friend she’s paying for everything. From the perspective of the poorer friend the trip is unaffordable unless she puts herself in the position of asking her friend to pay for even more.
I had a roommate on a very, very tight budget one summer. We agreed to split the cost of basic groceries and buy our own luxury items. What I didn’t consider was that my roommate considered things like generic orange juice luxuries. He just couldn’t afford some of the things I didn’t hesitate to buy. We worked it our because we were good enough friends to be honest about it, but I can imagine how stressful it might be for a kid to always have to say “I can’t afford it” every time someone suggests doing something that costs money. After a while those invitations are going to stop and people are going to go out without you.
I went to a very wealthy kind of LAC many years ago. I was almost on full FA. I didn’t know preppy until I showed up on campus. I never let anyone pay for me and my parents didn’t give me any spending money. I worked over 30 hours a week to have money to go out. When I couldn’t afford to go, I told my friends I was busy, I didn’t think it was their business about my financial situation.
What I learned in college was beyond academic. My school had a lot of semi-formal events with wine and cheese. I learned how to dress and how to carry on cocktail conversation. Most of my friends were from Chicago, Boston and Westchester. My family was first generation, we didn’t even use silverware at home. I learned which utensils to use with each course and how to hold those utensils.
I am very grateful for the opportunity to attend my school for almost free and doors it had opened for me. I think my siblings all feel the same. If we didn’t attend those schools, combined with our hard work, our kids wouldn’t be full pay today. Education in this country can be the best equalizer, or it could be the biggest divider too.
I really do hope people listen to the audio of http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/550/three-miles
which is about what happens when students from a public school in the Bronx visit the campus of their pen pals who attend a private school three miles away. But I want to respond to a number of comments about how the poor students attending elite colleges should take pride in their accomplishments. I agree, these students absolutely should be able to hold their heads up high. And yet, it’s not always that easy. What follows is one set of anecdotes. It’s of course not necessarily representative of all freshman college students coming from low SES backgrounds. And if you want to ask questions or pose scenarios about any of this (as is the CC way 
) then you’ll want to listen to the episode, or at least read the transcript (but really, the audio–you’re going to miss a lot of emotion with the bare text).
This excerpt from the “Three Miles” transcript discusses the experience of one of the Bronx public school students on first seeing the private school:
Then one of the public school students gets to college:
One of the issues with the books:
Again: not representative of every low SES student. Posting this to try to lure people into listening to the podcast.