<p>We didn’t catch it until age 7 or so with the dyslexic one and age 15 with the ADHD kid, so I can’t comment on two year olds. But, the dyslexic was obviously gifted and wanted to be read to constantly. I read him the entire Lord of the Rings Series when he was in first grade. I bought lots of Usborne books about world history and read them to him. His mom did art with him. I remember pushing him on the swing at the playground in Harvard Square each week and giving him exceedingly more complex explanations of the American revolution, discussing democracy, taxes, elections, etc. The other parents would look at me like a mutant dad trying to give him an advantage over their kids in getting into some private school. But, that kind of stimulation was what he needed. I gave him hard math problems to solve. My son believed that he was the smartest kid in the class and pretended to read for 3 years because he could pretty much remember anything he’d heard. When he was diagnosed, the teacher said to him, you are still the top kid in the class in math and science, but reading is going to be a challenge for you. You’ll learn it but you’ll have to work hard. </p>
<p>I told him that he’d always have to work harder than everyone else. Well, he took it all in. While he is generally bright, his true gift is in what I’d call strategic reasoning. And, he applied this along with my coaching to performing in school and getting into college. That is, given that reading/writing energy is limited, how am I going to manage things to do well. Midway through his sophomore year (or was it freshman year), he told the teachers and us at his team meeting that he had decided to try for an A+ in every course in the first quarter (which he’d more or less done). He said, “I try to prove to the teachers that I can succeed on their turf and then I will ask them to let me succeed on mine.” You could see jaws dropping in the room, but it worked. </p>
<p>It is a much, much longer story, but we set up a partial homeschooling program for him in HS, but he graduated HS with a 3.98 GPA unweighted and very high SAT and ACT scores and got into a number of schools including Ivies and finished his freshman year at one of the top-ranked LACs, had fun, didn’t kill himself and he won some kind of prize for academic performance.</p>
<p>I talked with him as an adult from early ages and talked with him about all of the negotiations with the school system (he attended both public and private). By the end, he was doing most of the negotiations. A neuropsychologist who tested him over the years said that he had never tested a kid who clearly felt he could change the environment to match his needs. The Superintendent of Schools actually wrote one of his recommendations as she’d seen him advocate with her and, in effect, get her to overrule the head of the HS English department. So, he advocates well and has continued that in college. </p>
<p>The ADHD one had more serious medical problems that took precedence but when we figured it out, she’s been improving steadily and gaining confidence. That sounds funny because she got into the hardest to get into private school in the Boston area for middle school and then a very competitive private HS before we’d done the diagnosis, but she never performed at the level one would expect. She has quite a high IQ also, but it did not help her confidence to follow an exceedingly bright and self-confident brother. She would never have been interested in the political and economic discussion of the American Revolution I was having with my son at ages 3 through 5, and she wouldn’t have been able to sit still for it at age 10. For her, lots of exercise, Ritalin, confidence-boosting, help with executive function. When she was younger, we encouraged her to follow an interest in yoga and she spend a few summers at a camp organized by an ashram. It is calming for her (and as an added side benefit, she can put do a headstand and then put her feet on her shoulders). I’m angling for meditation as well and she’s thinking of getting trained as a yoga instructor in her gap year (along with getting trained as an EMT, a swimming instructor to go along wither life guard certification, and traveling in Asia). She’s a joyful kid and a pleasure to be around. And, she is really maturing and planning and academic improvement are coming with it.</p>
<p>I hope my ramblings have been helpful to you, but our experiences may not help if the kids are very different as my one big takeaway is that what you do has to work with the individual kid.</p>