I am so sorry that I cannot even a little bit relate-- we have 3 in college, one senior in HS and the last a junior in HS and we cannot WAIT until they all fly the coop. Oh but then the current sophomore in college is doing her 5th year accounting here at home and the junior is staying home to go to nursing school… grrr :((
just finished our first semester with our youngest out of the house (oldest about to graduate). It was an adjustment but we kept busy with other things - the house was a whole lot quieter which was not always a bad thing. Both have now been back for almost a month and I can say its time for them to head back to college. They have changed and we have changed - you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. They’re a lot of fun now because they are more mature, but they also expect to live by their rules and not always by ours. Hence the readiness for them to return to school!
Looking forward to travelling with the wife and visits to see them at school in the next semester.
I was excited for my first to go off to college. My only tears were when we were leaving campus after moving in. Same with second child the following year. With the 3rd and last, this last fall, I was a wreck for weeks. I would cry at the drop of a hat. Could not read FB because of all the college/leaving/child posts. I really could not put my finger on it because I was excited for him but I was still so profoundly sad. Then I realized it was not because he was going away and I would miss him (which I did, I missed all of them) but it was more about who I was and what my role would be now. The way I was going to be needed was going to change for good, once and for all. Once I figured out that it was more about redefining me and who I was and not about his leaving, I was no longer weepy and depressed and enjoyed his moving into the next phase.Good luck and wish you and your coming freshman the best.
we have two, but before our youngest left for college we were given the GREAT advice to plan a vacation for very shortly thereafter. So DH and I took a great trip to California. We have found that quiet weekends, meals that catered to OUR tastes, and the freedom to travel much more easily (without dealing with school breaks, etc.) was terrific. Though we did take both kiddos to France last spring, so we didn’t completely give up family vacations!
I would have said something similar last year. We had a high school senior, an adult living at home to save money, and a grad student home on breaks. But then they all moved out within the space of three months, and it almost brought me to my knees. In theory, I was ready for each of them to go on to the next phase, but as each made a happy choice, I was sad and nostalgic. When it came to the last, I was a hysterical mess for exactly the reason Thelma said. All of a sudden, I wasn’t a residential parent anymore and didn’t know what the future would look like. Would the kids be in touch with me when they just wanted to, didn’t have to, and could avoid it? Would they need me? What good would I be? And also coming to terms with the absolute end of a phase of my life that I had loved. There was grief involved with that, and anxiety in coming to terms with aging and mortality.
But it turned out all great in the end, and I would have had to work through all of those things eventually anyway.
When my son left for college as he was the first to go I thought the world was coming to an end. Actually when we went to say goodbye after we had dinner my husband ran away as he knew I would have a meltdown in public! We still had my daughter at home who was a junior at the time. I moped around for days depressed and then it stuck me! It was so quiet in the house, kids were not fighting with each other, less laundry, less worrying about his curfew because he no longer had one!
Fast forward to this August as my daughter will be heading off to school 4 1/2 from home and now we will be empty nesters and I could honestly say I am ready!!! I love my children but am ready for the next adventure. Good luck I am sure you will find your way. It will take a while but focus on you!!
Keep in mind that for your child this is an exciting time.He/she is going on to a new place, meeting new people etc. This is what you have worked 18 years for. Sure you will miss him/her and it’s OK to be sad, but it is really about your child not you.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that both of my kids were happy that I kept busy after I left. They didn’t feel guilty about leaving because they knew I was OK.
There is an empty nest thread in the cafe with lots of good advice.
Kid #1 I was an absolute wreck his senior year and his college freshman year until at least Thanksgiving. I completely could not understand moms who were happy their kid was moving out. I too thought the world was ending. It was still difficult every time he left after breaks, but it did get better.
S2, 2 years younger, was pretty happy about the whole thing 
Kid #3 is a college sophomore and I am/was so happy she too can live on campus and have such great opportunities. I just never can do anything well or easily the first time. I try to be especially gentle with the parents (usually moms) who are hurting like I did. I try to assure them it almost always gets better and you achieve a new “normal”.
I have been raising kids for 47 years! And my baby is a freshman in college. Really major change of life focus. Actually the youngest went to boarding high school many miles away so we have a lot of the work behind us, but it’s still hard.
Most falls, I undertake a house project. One fall I ripped up the BR carpet to reveal the hardwood floor beneath. Next fall I personally ripped up many layers of old flooring in the kitchen. Because of potential asbestos risk (turned out there was none) it would have cost a fortune to hire it out.
I have gone through many boxes of “stuff” in the basement and have a garage sale all set up and ready to go next spring. I am gradually digitizing our family photos. That project is somewhat emotional, coming face to face with long past special times & photos. When I get an “era” scanned, I create a photo book of the highlights. I have also added some volunteer work to my life.
So, plan some projects, trips, volunteer work, etc., so you’ll be ready. Some crazy people get foster kids or take in exchange students.
I’m wondering how different it will be for us when our second leaves in 2018. It took me a while to process that the oldest was gone, since he’d been away for a week or so at a time before. Younger brother seems to like being an only, although he probably communicates with his brother more than we do.
My only child is in his second year now. We are 15 flight hours apart. He came back for winter break and we visited him in spring break his first year. I have a full time job, however it is still very difficult to adjust. The moment I stepped into the house, loneliness filled my whole body and I felt a hole in my heart. I even cried in the restaurants we used to have Friday dinner together. I started to jump up whenever my mobile beep, I checked every message right away hoping it was my son sending me messages. I checked the the weather of his college town everyday, it is kind of crazy…
Then things get better when I started to focus on some “labour” work like cleaning a corner of the house everyday. I stopped using part time helper and do all the cleaning and cooking myself. I go to movies more often and see my friends more often.
Now I am not crazy checking messages as I learn that no news is a sign of him coping well in college. We skype every weekend lasting an hour.
It is hard, but you will adjust to your new routine eventually.
I plan on getting a dog when my first daughter goes to college
@babyflyingthecoop I can’t offer any advice or insight into what happens next, but I can empathize because I am in the same situation. My only child will also be “flying the coop” and most likely will be quite far away at a school that requires air travel. I know it will be very hard for me and I will have to remind myself not to contact her all the time just because I want to hear her voice. I am thankful for modern technology like FaceTime, and cell phone videos, because they allow me to share in some of her experiences. When she took a cross country tour two summers ago, she would sometimes use FaceTime to show me some of the places she visited - like a 360 degree view of the Grand Canyon - and even introduce me to her new friends, who would say, “Hi, ****'s mom!!!” My husband has said that in addition to her school breaks, we should go visit her a couple of times a year when we have long weekends. For the most part, I am glad that my somewhat sheltered suburban daughter Will have the opportunity to really grow up and become completely independent. But I hear you! She has spent nearly every summer away from home since she was 12 years old, but this feels quite different.
Everyone in the family here knows the dog is my favorite. 
Small thing but the way we left each kid at school made for very different experiences;
Kid 1: school had general orientation then things petered out. We said good bye to DS on a lawn on campus and he walked away. I started bawling looking at his receding back. DH and I went to eat afterwards and I cried my way through. We had decided to stay in town for the night afterwards, in case we were needed for I’m not sure what, and that was a big mistake. Wondering around an unfamiliar town, crying randomly.
Kid 2: said goodbye as the kids went into convocation, very hustle bustle, parents watched the convocation video feed on a lawn, then all the 1500 kids walked the gauntlet of parents/family as they went off for class picture. It was fun having all the freshman walk by with all the hooping and the hollering. Waved at DD! Then parents were shuttled off to a reception, no kids, with plenty of alcohol. We went straight to the airport from the reception. Not a tear.
I choose school 2. Kid 2 is still mad that I didn’t cry at her sendoff :D.
I agree with @ihs76 . Do not stick around town after dropping your child off. It definitely was best to put distance between us and our daughter. We left before the students went to their first dinner. We did drop off in the morning and there was a big run to a local store to get last minute things. But it isn’t necessary for parents to stay. My D’s school had a shuttle Van for students only, so they could go to the store and get what they needed. The college does try to ensure that students have help when they move in, so if you are flying in, there will be plenty of resources to help with the move-in process.