<p>Dad, try to impose a ban on discussing college except in a very generic sense, i.e. she says, “hey my history teacher today said to be sure and take a course on Russian/Soviet history when you get to college” and you can say, “oh what a great idea, sure wish I could take a course like that”. This is a very good time for the two of you to building a bridge from HS where you were the disciplinarian to college, where you get to be her sounding board and confidante. Discussions about where she’ll get in and where she won’t are pretty academic right now unless she discovers a vaccine for AIDS next week in which case she can update her applications everywhere. Assuming she doesn’t… just chill.</p>
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LOL!!! I think we’re past fourteen by now. But who’s counting…</p>
<p>September will come soon enough when our seniors will be off to their respective colleges. There is nothing left to do but cherish the remaining time with your child at home, and reassure them constantly that a rejection from any school does not diminish the power of their potential. DadII, enjoy your time with your DD. These months are precious.</p>
<p>My feeling is that you may need some distraction. We are lucky - like many other families here we really enjoyed last weeks free of college apps. But I guess tension will increase soon.
I am planning a ski trip for the whole family. Just to take our thoughts away from college admissions.
Applying for yet another school could distract your daugter. But I do not think that there are options better than your state school. I found very few good schools with deadlines after Feb 1 and even less after Feb 15. Consideing that deadlines for scholarships may have passed even at schools that still accept apps, or that they have already offered a lot of merit aid … Just face it - application season is over.
Getting into a safety should not necessarily make you want to go there. It’s not getting anywhere else that is more likely to do so.
My daughter has a “safety”, which she likes - a great school, but it’s not a safety for anyone, especially this year. So waiting for April 1 on that. And has a real safety, like your daughter’s, from there she has an acceptance letter. I figured that there is no way that DD will not fall in love with this safety school while waiting for replies from her dream schools choices. So we chose to put the letter away and not to discuss the school for now. At least DD does not have reasons to start hating it as something she is pushed into instead of her top choices.</p>
<p>citymom said it first. The private schools that give merit aid usually have a deadline to be considered for that aid. Even if they are still taking applications, their merit deadlines have passed.</p>
<p>DadII,</p>
<p>I can’t help you with the waiting period, and I hesitate to post because the last thing your family needs right now is more applications. </p>
<p>But if she is interested, February is a good time for your daughter to pursue local scholarships within her community to offset her required student earnings. I haven’t kept up with how student earning expectations are being treated with the new FA initiatives, but typically students have a portion they are expected to earn on their own. You might be surprised at what is available locally, and these scholarships could make a difference in her need to work for spending money during the school year. These are often based on a number of different criteria from service to leadership to academics. This is nothing you need to drive. She can pursue these on her own through her counseling office. A few student earned scholarships can pay for her computer and other college related expenses. </p>
<p>In addition, they may make it more affordable to pursue interesting internships or research opportunities in the summer. While my S has been fortunate to get high paying internships, he knows some students who had to turn down interesting opportunities in interesting cities because the stipend covered just their expenses and did not put them in the position to earn enough for their summer earnings expectation. It is nice to have choices and the flexibility to pursue them.</p>
<p>DADII - I hate to say this, but if things have unfolded as you report them, then your daughter may not have any choice. She was the one who placed the limit on how many schools she would apply to, and from what I remember, it wasn’t necessarily a good match of reaches/matches/safeties. Because she did not do that, if she ends up at a place she doesn’t like, it will be her own consequence. But that DOESN’T mean you get to say, “I told you so.” If you do that, she will internalize your shaming, instead of learning the valuable lesson from her own procrastination or lack of involvement. </p>
<p>You must accept that our children are not perfect, and whether it’s this process, or another, at some point she’s going to miss out on some opportunity because of not thoroughly investigating the options. Frankly, the sooner she learns this (and it may happen more than once), the better.</p>
<p>And I have to agree with Chevda about her changing her mind many times between now and May. Neither one of my kids got into their first choice school (reach school), but they are so happy where they’re at now, they can’t even imagine themselves at their original first choice anymore. EXPECT her to change her mind and juggle all the information that will begin coming her way in a few weeks; and tell yourself, “this is normal” before beginning any conversation with her.</p>
<p>thanks to all for your understanding. This is our first.</p>
<p>Finally we got some good news. One being that DD got the NMF letter. The other one is a semi-finalist notification from a “big” nationwide scholarship. </p>
<p>Looking ahead, we wait for at least four big invitations within Feb 15 - 25th.</p>
<p>Dad II
You already have the good news there. She will have great choices!</p>
<p>Great news! Stay positive!</p>
<p>“What is my point?? I don’t know. I guess I am asking if there is any thing we could do now rather than just wait two more months.”</p>
<p>My suggestion, from the vantage point of having no kids left at home to do this with - schedule a fun family vacation or just a short weekend to a place none of you have been before. Make a rule that nobody will utter a word about colleges. Just love her and enjoy the time you have left as a family.</p>
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<p>I couldn’t agree more. Nine years ago we began building our house. We were the legal GCs on the contract, but paid someone to handle it. We managed to get the house built in basically three months, due to our proximity (I was over there almost every day). But the last three weeks, we had to split up because we had to get out of our old house which we had sold. H stayed with a friend from work; D1 stayed with two different friends; D2 and I stayed with our former next door neighbor with our dog. H and I were also doing some of the finishing work - painting, laying floors, tiling, etc., so we were incredibly busy, and this house controlled our lives for many, many months.</p>
<p>So less than two months after we moved in, I told H we needed to get away. We needed to remove ourselves from the place that had been causing us stress for so many months. Financially speaking, we shouldn’t have done it, but we took a long weekend to Disneyworld - I think I had to take the kids out of school for a day to get a solid time away (they already had a four-day weekend in October for something). It was the most rejuvenating trip we ever took (and it was a surprise to the girls, who we didn’t tell until about two days before we left), and much needed. We didn’t talk house or money or anything else that caused anxiety. Of course, being in Disneyworld is enough of a distraction itself, so we didn’t have to try very hard to forget the stuff at home. Like I said, financially, by all accounts, we shouldn’t have gone (some house stuff had to wait), but I told H if we didn’t do it, we were all going to fall apart. I highly recommend carving out some time away from home, for at least a couple of nights, even if it is financially tight (who isn’t financially conscious just as they’re about to send a kid off to college?). It was totally worth it. And today, we don’t even miss that couple of thousand dollars. Time will fly by too quickly. I will be writing the last check for D1’s college in six weeks; we made it through.</p>
<p>Can’t help reading … CAN help biting.</p>
<p>My how DadII has changed his tune… <em>rolleyes</em>. All we need is for his D to get in everywhere and for him to start sprouting off sage advice on how pulling plugs do work because hey, his D is in everywhere she applied! <em>sigh</em> </p>
<p>But for folks who have the same problem, it’s good to find out just why your D/S is saying such things. I remember stepping onto a certain Ivy League’s campus and suddenly loathing it body and soul. It was completely unfounded, I just loathed it. Reactions like this and other reasons such as ‘the students looked dumb’ or ‘the admissions building had too many steps’ are not good indicators at all. Hey, I know of people who applied to schools because they enjoyed a particularly good sandwich there! O_o</p>
<p>As for scholarships, well, there are so many with such different qualifications out there that it’s impossible to generalize a statement out of them all. I will say that a couple half rides/near full rides offers I got were to prestigious places that made a point of mentioning my activities and character, so really, don’t place <em>too</em> much emphasis on numbers.</p>
<p>“schedule a fun family vacation”. I just can’t catch any break on this forum. </p>
<p>Last year was our 20th anniversary and we took a cheap vacation at Riveria Maya. There was a member on this forum questioned me why we did the vacation instead of saving the $$ for DD’s tuition. Come on, it costed exactly one of my paychecks for our 8 day AI package. And it took us 20 years to do that.</p>
<p>melli, you know me so well 
. I hope I will have the facts to start a thread “I told you all so” comes April 1st when DD gets 8/8. </p>
<p>The most exciting thing so far is the Toyota semi. Each HS (less than 600 seniors) could only nominate one student. Out of 10,000 of the #1 from each HS, DD is now one of 1,000 semi. That in itself, plus the fact that she transfered into this HS in Jr year, speaks a lot to her activities and character. Let’s hope the $$ givers at universities see that too.</p>
<p>^^ It seems to me that in fact everyone has been telling YOU that your D will get into many schools!</p>
<p>^^^but everyone has been telling ME to BACKOFF. If she does get 8/8 with merit money from some. I would say my PUSH worked!!! </p>
<p>However, I want to make sure I have never and will never seek perfection in either of my kids.</p>
<p>I hope Dad II is aware that any outside scholarship would get factored into need-based aide from top tier schools. Your contribution would not change with additional outside scholarship, it’s just school’s aide would decrease.</p>
<p>Yes, OF, I am fully aware of that. The loans from the FA pack is the first to be replaced by any outside $$.</p>