<p>That’s not true at every single school. Check each one. There are rare exceptions.</p>
<p>And don’t forget that any Ivy won’t be providing any merit $$ as well</p>
<p>Seems some tide is turning for DADII - just a bit cocky about it now too - uuummm - well best of luck to his DD</p>
<p>Okay - I’m a little slow, but even I have finally noticed that this is the same fellow who has been so critical of his D.</p>
<p>"Now that DD’s sub-bar test scores (within the content of highly competitive scholarship applications) is coming back to hunt us. </p>
<p>I told DD - you refused to prepare for the tests, you refused to spend more time working on your essay (often completed at 11:59 on the deadline day) because it does not effect you. You think you could still go to college. The difference is in the amount I have to pay. Why do I have to suffer because you want to do what you want to instead what I told you to do? "</p>
<p>I try to never criticize other parents. I feel like most of us do the best we can, and Lord knows, I’m not perfect. But my question to you, DadII is - now that your are crowing about your daughter’s success with scholarships have you apologized for being so hard on her? </p>
<p>One thing I have to say is that any child resents being loved for their accomplishments or hearing their parents brag and take ownership of their success. It is one thing to be pleased, happy or proud - but what your D has accomplished is hers. The flip side of that is the message that if you don’t succeed you are an embarrassment to me. </p>
<p>You obviously have an extraordinary child. Take a moment to really look at her and count your blessings. Cherish her for who she is, not what she has won. If you don’t you may wonder some day why you don’t have a relationship with her.</p>
<p>Jeez DaDII,
It is your DAUGHTER, not YOU, who is in the running for the scholarships. Everyone who has been telling you to take a chill pill has done so because we have had more confidence in her than YOU have. If she wins a scholarship you should be GRATEFUL, not arrogant and full of “I told you so” false pride. I suggest you take a bunch of modesty pills too .</p>
<p>I just wanted to chime in here and point out that NMF is not a magic-carpet ride to Ivy acceptances and $$$. Last year my daughter was NMF, had 2220 SATs (including 800CR) and came from a competitive and well-known high school. Results: denied by Northwestern and Vassar, and waitlisted at William and Mary. </p>
<p>She’s very very happy at her current college, one of her safeties, which is giving her a full-tuition scholarship.</p>
<p>And keep in mind when students apply for scholarships MOST of the students vying for that same scholarship are likely to be cream of the crop students. Every school, every town has them. It is sometimes a mystery why committees choose one winner over another - there are ABSOLUTELY no guarantees! </p>
<p>Most kids, if they are VERY lucky, will apply for several outside scholarships and be happy to get a couple of them. But they are NO LESS a student for NOT getting them. </p>
<p>And one final comment…while being a top-notch go-getter student at this moment in your family’s life seems all-important, success in life will largely be dependent on the kind of PERSON she is, brains not withstanding. My dream for my children is for all those ducks to be in line first and foremost - for them to be caring, responsible, giving, motivated people not just for themselves, but for others in the world around them.</p>
<p>Hey, Dad II … did I miss something along the way??? I could SWEAR you complained about your D’s “subpar” ACT score … 31 was it??? How come you posted on the Vandy thread that your D has a 34???</p>
<p>Hmmmmmm …</p>
<p>^^ kelsmom. I may have said things that many of you can’t accept. However, I don’t think I ever lie here, even at the risk of providing too much information. </p>
<p>I challenge you to find where I said DD’s ACT was a 31. It is were, I would have never disclosed here - it is embarrassing!!! To make my case, I will challenge you to find my DD’s SAT I score. I have never told it to any one, not even my mother.</p>
<p> Folks, I have removed a large number of posts from this thread because they violated the Courtesy guidelines of the Terms of Service. Please keep the guidelines in mind when posting. You can make your points while refraining from any ad hominem attacks.</p>
<p>Thanks for your anticipated cooperation.
- Mod JEM </p>
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<p>Well, a year ago you posted this:
</p>
<p>I realize that she scored a 34 on her retake, but you did post her earlier score.<br>
Maybe it’s time to give it a rest, DadII. What will be, will be.</p>
<p>^^ patsmom. Please see my join date is July 2007. Whatever your second quote should be before.</p>
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<p>My darling daughter is the love of my life, I am extremely proud of her, her ACT was 25, and I am not in the least bit embarassed. She got into one of our two flagship U’s, and she could not be any happier, especially given some challanges she has faced.</p>
<p>Now me, I was the first to go to college in my family, I had high SAT’s and a 4.0 unweighted, and could never seem to see that I made my parents proud. Even at my age, having graduated at the top of my class at a respected LAC via some merit aid, a job and loans; having graduated from medical school; having finished a residency at a top university, and having a stellar career and now a clinical prof, I still am given the impression from one of my parents that I could have done more… That parent comes immediately to mind when I read DAD II’s posts. Let it go, and let her be.</p>
<p>I might get flamed for saying this but I read Hillary Clinton’s dad was the same way. Maybe she wouldn’t achieve so much if he dad did not make her feel inadequate. She was never good enough in her dad’s eyes.</p>
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<p>Oh, yeah, right. That must have been your evil twin - the one whose daughter is applying to all the same schools as your daughter and who has a son the same age and who worries about how he’s going to pay for college. :rolleyes: </p>
<p>Really, changing your username doesn’t fool anyone. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you want help here, then accept it graciously and move on. If you want to play games, that just wastes everyone’s time. You have received heartfelt advice from many kind posters about dealing with this stressful time as well as how to deal with your own anger issues. They’ve been more than patient with you.</p>
<p>So THAT’s what has always bugged me about Hillary . . .</p>
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<p>Are these the same activities that you felt she was wasting time pursuing when she should have been filling out the extra application or working on an essay the night you literally pulled the plug on her?</p>
<p>Feeling a little Amy Winehouse right now in thinking that she may not be the only person who could benefit from a little rehabbing. But like Amy, I can guess that there’s some no, no, no, no, nos coming.</p>
<p>I hope that all of your good news has allowed you to take a step back, breathe and let the process play it self out.</p>
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<p>Just for the record…an ACT score of 31 should not be an embarassment. It is a mighty fine score. </p>
<p>DadII…responding to your title of this thread? What options does DD have now?? Well…you won’t know those options until she receives letters about her applications from all of her schools. In the meantime, relax. At this point, this all is out of your control. The aps, ACT scores, recommendations, essays, etc. have been submitted. It’s now up to the admissions folks to make a decision on each of your daughter’s application. </p>
<p>And agreed with others…many many kids change their minds multiple times regarding which schools they like and don’t like. Your daughter has one very fine acceptance already (OSU) and that should at least take the edge off of the waiting time. Think about all the students who have to wait until April for their first acceptance? </p>
<p>What options?? Wait and see. If you need to formulate a plan B…I would start with that safety school. BUT as Xiggi pointed out, all of that is very premature right now. Just be patient and try to enjoy this lovely daughter you have. Remember that regardless of where, it is very likely that she will be away at college next year. Enjoy the remaining months with her at home. That is far more important that ruminating about “what ifs”.</p>
<p>DadII: Hmm. Maybe my sarcasm didn’t quite make it into my posts. I at least try to coach my rebukes in polite, constructive language. </p>
<p>But if you did make an ‘I told you so’ thread if/when your daughter gets 8/8, rest assured that I and probably others who participated in your 400ish long thread will probably flame you to heck and back. No this is not a threat, <em>rolleyes</em>. But seriously, to continuously tell your daughter she’s inadequate and wasting her time on extracurriculars, to berate her when all her work is done and she’s spending time talking to her GC, to first say you’ll pay for college and then refuse to pay a cent for honors at State U, to say she’s completely botching her chances at college when all she’s doing is working on applications on her own timeframe, *to pull the plug on the computer moments before the deadline when she’s working on a scholarship application, and then saying you did that to teach her a lesson *, and THEN coming on to CC and smugly saying your methods are the best – Wow. I can’t imagine who can read all that and not blow a gasket. </p>
<p>Seriously?? So many have tried to help you and now you want to portray yourself in a good light? My genuine advice for what you should be doing now? Salvage what’s left of your relationship with your D and not repeat this experience with your S. If I were your D, and I’ve tried on multiple occasions to offer you advice because I did come from a similar background, I would go to college and not look back.</p>
<p>Columbia_Student: Hmm. Interesting point there, and maybe that’s true. But behind her strong campaigning face, I’ll bet there’s some (tiny or big) well of frustrated feelings, and dark doubts about self. Emotional trauma happens to those who are told day after day that they are not adequate. Success in this world VS emotional health? I would take emotional health, myself. =)</p>
<p>This is Dad II post on Ohio State’s Maximum scholarship thread:</p>
<p>"The lunch key note speaker rocks. He demonstrated that OSU has the fundation for a driven student to achieve big. However, we talked to at least two honors and they did not give good impression of the regular students and their dorms. "</p>
<p>I am beginning to think Dad II is actually the daughter. What parent says “The lunch key note speaker rocks”? It would also explains why Dad II flip flops, and doesn’t understand when he is been inappropriate.</p>
<p>“However, I want to make sure I have never and will never seek perfection in either of my kids.”</p>
<p>Oh, please, Dad II, don’t play us small, as Oprah would say.
You asked if there was hope left for your ds when he committed the horrible crime of getting a B in AP History. You said above that an ACT of 31 is on the low side for a senior and berated your daughter for not getting her 34 up to 35. How is that not seeking perfection?</p>
<p>You have deliberately guided your daughter to a situation in which she has only one safety school she’s been encouraged not to feel good about because it’s “only” a state school and what-would-the-family-think, and the rest of her schools are reaches for ANYONE, just because that’s how it goes, when you would have been better served to get off the elite bandwagon and look for some other fine safety schools, even if they didn’t impress the folks back in China.</p>