Hey all, I would really appreciate anyones thoughts on what I should do with my college situation. I began my education at a small liberal arts college last year and everything seemed great at the start. After a few weeks, people that I thought I was friends with began to exclude me from social events and I was beginning to be left alone. I found another person on my floor who was going through the same thing, so we ended up hanging out while trying to find other people to join us. This continued on for a while, trying to meet others at parties, the dining halls and more but most people already had formed their friend groups so we were lost. Then, a group of friends in my dorm began to hang out with my friend who lived next door and this eventually left me by myself, with no one really to hang with that I enjoyed being with. I had met some kids who I didn’t have much in common with and tried to hang out with them, but I just felt very akward and would end up leaving. I continued to live the rest of the year basically playing video games by myself in my dorm room on weekends, while all my friends back home were having the times of their life. This caused me to feel pretty down, and my grades suffered. I had to chose to live in a single dorm for sophomore year since I had to friends to live with, and sophomore year was more of the same. I tried to join clubs and groups, but everyone already had their established friend groups. About halfway through the first term, my depression was so bad that I would cry almost every weekend I was stuck alone in my room that I made the decision to withdraw from my school. I began to look at transfer options, and applied and was accepted to several. The issue was, none of them gave enough financial aid so I was left with either going the rest of the year living at home, or going back to my original college. I ended up deciding on going back to my original college, promising to give it my best go at making friends and being as active as possible. This is what I did, and I ended up being invited into a group of kids friend group who I really don’t have much in common with and feel very out of place around them; I am an athletic lover of sports, all of these kids don’t know the first thing about athletics and only care about comics and anime. I have been going to meals with these kids in dining halls, trying to see if I can meet anyone else from being with these kids, but it is not working at all since all that they talk to is more of comic book and anime lovers. I feel really lost and don’t know whether I should just stick out college being miserable of drop out and do something else. I am basically failing all of my classes and just feel so out of place here. My parents are spending their retirement money to send me to a place where I will continue to be miserable for the next 2 or so more years, it just doesn’t seem right. What do you think I should do?
@PWeissy
First, I am sorry that you’re situation is so depressing to you. Have you discussed this with your parents? Your college has counselors and I would highly suggest you seek one out to help with this. Have you considered participating in a club sport? Or even getting a part time job somewhere on campus or even close by? Do you go to a church? Sometimes local church affiliations have group meetings on campus. It sounds like you are trying to make things work and that is commendable, but in the end if you are truly that miserable all the time, you do need to get some help from a professional.
Have you applied to transfer to your state flagship? Presumably it’d be cheaper than this college.
What’s your GPA? Your major?
Join a community service organization. You used the letter “I” 30x and the word “we” twice in the above paragraph. People are drawn to people who think of others much more than themselves. Do something where you work with others to make your community a better place. Alternatively, find a job where you work as a member of a team.