I’ve been playing around with a couple of essay ideas for the first prompt (although that’s flexible, I suppose) and I’ve been having trouble deciding between the options I came up with. One seems too boring, and the other too risky. Could someone review the two sort of final options I came up with and tell me which one would become a better essay?
Option 1 would be a relatively safe essay, talking about the time I went on the subway for a dental appointment and how I stopped, finally, to give some money to the homeless man who always sat in the same spot every month. It’s not the fact that I gave money to him that’s important, but what he said to me afterwards: he asked me if I got good grades and if I liked books, and when I said yes, he said (extremely, extremely emphatically) that I needed to stay in school and most of all to keep reading. Then I never saw him again. The rest of it would be something about how my mother practically banned me from reading novels because I ‘read too much’ and to study math more, and my conclusions based on those experiences.
What I’m worried about is that this is too cliche of an idea. It’s not really the same direction as what I assume most essays about homeless people would be, but I feel like just having an essay on the impact that the poor has had on me seems somehow wrong - like I’m using the idea of homelessness as an way to lift myself up. In addition, I’m worried it seems pretentious.
Option 2 would be more risky, since it talks about some mildly illegal activities. This one would be about the summer of eighth grade, when I filmed my first short movie with my friends, and including instances of getting attacked by wasps, swimming in a thunderstorm, wandering around a section of the woods filled with trashed cars, and trespassing on an abandoned factory and an ATV park (which you, technically, had to have an ATV to go to). That’s the mildly illegal part. The importance was that I finally learned to be a little bold and a little reckless after a sheltered childhood, and I feel like it could be a profound essay, but I’m concerned that even though most people wouldn’t blink at trespassing on a property that hasn’t been touched in thirty years colleges might see it as a negative. I want to take risks, but is this going too far?
Thanks for reading so much. I’d appreciate any advice anyone has to give me, and I’m willing to answer any questions.
I like option B. You could even say that looking back, some of these choices seem riskier from your current perspective than you realized but the lesson that you need to take chances outside your comfort zone is still with you.
I agree. Of all of the illegal things you can do – mild or not-so-mild – trespassing on an abandoned property is hardly the stuff that would put fear in the hearts of admissions officers. The other topic sounds a bit trite, IMHO, and you certainly seem more passionate about the second topic – plus there’s a more creative bent to it since it involves filmmaking. Is that something you have pursued? (the filmmaking, not the trespassing 
)
Remember, it’s not an ordinary writing assignment as in hs. Adcoms want to see the traits they like for their class. In that respect, ‘reading too much’ is iffy and you don’t just want to present your conclusions. You want to show, not just tell.
Depending on the colleges, you could get some good traction from how you thought about the man’s advice and what came next. There’s a lot of room in there. Either, though, if you work them right.
Thanks for your replies! I was personally hoping to use the second topic, too, as I thought it was a stronger topic - it’s just that I’ve received some dubious comments from friends and family so I wanted some more opinions.
@LoveTheBard , I haven’t done much more filmmaking per se but I do have a heavy background in art and may pursue animation in college. I was going to downplay the film part as it wasn’t the important part of the whole experience and since I have very little actual knowledge of filming, but try to highlight the creative aspect of it.
People who aren’t very familiar with college essays often think your topic should be weighty. Or they take the prompts too literally. The admissions officers did not write the prompts… they want an essay that shows your personality, and that they find interesting. Think about how dull it is, reading essay after essay about grandparents, pets, and service trips. If you can show your personality and write about something more interesting, go for it!
Option 2 is a better choice, but make sure you open your essay with something to grab the attention of the reader and to SHOW, not TELL about the incident. Think of it as a film opening scene. They usually start with a “cold open” before even an introduction. The wasp attack would be a perfect; an exciting way to start. Write it like you were describing how to film it: wasps buzzing, running, any screaming? Perfect.
But don’t forget it’s for college admission, not entertainment, not for your English teacher. I’ve always liked Dig’s staging concept. But please try to convey the attributes that matter to your adcoms. That’s not just bold and reckless. Find more.
I believe you’ll find your best way. But (just saying) the reason I like 1 is the opp to “show” sensitivity, in your willingness to interact with him, and some impact his comment had on you, some reflection and hopefully, some action/growth. (Not the segue to your mom thinking you read too much.)
In the end, decide what it is that you want to convey/show to adcoms that’s relevant to their decisions. Best wishes.
@lookingforward I was planning to talk about my personal growth in being braver, more outgoing, more willing to take risks and make independent decisions, and stronger as a person since as a child I was very timid and shy. I hope that’s suitable for their desires, but I will of course keep thinking.
And to be honest, I have no idea what I was thinking with the reading thing. I probably should have just ended with my reflections on my interactions with the man.
Can be good. Try to incorporate some “show, not just tell.” That basically means don’t just say you’ve changed, try to have some examples where they can see it for themselves. (Those examples should be relevant.) And try not to be too self critical about the earlier years. The essay can be a comfortable reflection. Try to show your energies, the good you do.
I think you’ll be fine, because you’re clearly thinking about this. Someone (I forget which poster) often recommends you write a couple of versions, then see which track feels best to you. 
Thanks for all of your help!