What Should We Do?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My son is in the 9th grade. His school made all the ninth-graders take the Official Practice PSAT/NMSQT from the College Board on Oct 14th, while the sophomores and juniors took the real PSAT/NMSQT. I understand from other parents that the Official Practice PSAT/NMSQT that they were given was actually the real PSAT/NMSQT from 2007. The school district graded the ninth-graders' tests and sent home a report that looked very much like one that would have been sent from the College Board, listing the correct answers, his answers, and the percentiles compared to other 9th graders, plus a lot of other information. He did not prepare for the test in any way since the students were assured that the test did not count; it was administered to them just to give them some experience taking these types of tests.</p>

<p>These are his scores:
Critical Reading: 48/48 (80) 99+ percentile
Math: 37/38 (75) 99+ percentile
Writing: 34/39 (66) 99+ percentile</p>

<p>Selection Index 221</p>

<p>He is pleased with his scores. My husband and I are astounded by his scores. Obviously, if he had taken the real PSAT/NMSQT as a junior and had made these scores, he would be a NM Semifinalist in our state (Texas). We were advised last year (8th grade) by several of his teachers, the guidance counselor, and the principal to allow him to take placement exams to advance to the 12th grade, take the SAT now, and apply to college now. This would be great if his maturity were equal to his intelligence, but it is not. He is very immature, even for a barely 15 year-old. We think it would be best for him to stay in the same grade as students his own age, take AP classes, take correspondence classes - in other words, stay in the 9th grade and grow up. He wants to go to college now.</p>

<p>Are we doing the right thing, insisting that he remain in the 9th grade so he can mature a little more, or should we do what his teachers have suggested (and he wants to do) and allow him to enter college at 16 years old? We don't want to stunt his intellectual growth, but we don't want him to be a baby compared to rest of students in college either.</p>

<p>We really don't know what to do with him. Any advice would be appreciated.</p>

<p>Amy</p>

2

<p>Make him stay in 9th grade
We have two students at my high school-both very bright mind you-who’s parents moved them from I believe 6th grade directly to 9th grade(I know they are two years too young for their grade, so if my math is right…? they basically skipped our middle school which is 7-8)They started high school at the age of 12 and really have had a hard time fitting in socially. Yes, they are being challenged, but the girl has basically no friends and the boy is no better. I think your son would face similar things in college so I would keep him in high school, but I would have him take CC classes or something</p>

3

<p>You are in a tough, and exciting, spot. I think it might be one thing to let him skip a year, but for him to go to college now, especially as he doesn’t seem mature for his age-- would be disaster, I think. My niece was in such a situation and through online courses etc. she managed to do 4 years of HS in 2…she is applying to colleges now, at 16. She is fairly mature and her HS is tiny, so this seems right. Tell him to flex all his muscles now-- if school is easy, he should get all A’s take some extra courses, explore the world and see what fascinates him. In two years he might well be ready to go. And… congratulations!</p>

4

<p>Yes. You are doing the right thing. High School and college is about a lot more than just academics. Students learn as much from each other and from experiences as they do in the classroom. Trust your instincts. Keep him in high school. Just make sure that you give him plenty of opportunities for academic enrichment.</p>

5

<p>you could see if there is a math/science school or fine arts school in your state (usually state funded so no high tuitions) generally tend to have mor challenging courses (so he wont get bored) some, like my son’s are residential during the week, so they become more independent and have responsibilites, ie cleaning rooms, doing own laundry etc which helps them mature. here’s one in texas</p>

<p>[TAMS</a> Home, University of North Texas](<a href=“http://www.tams.unt.edu/]TAMS”>http://www.tams.unt.edu/) looks like only for 11th and 12th grade though</p>

<p>here is list of all state ones.
[Category:National</a> Consortium for Specialized Secondary Schools of Mathematics, Science and Technology schools - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:National_Consortium_for_Specialized_Secondary_Schools_of_Mathematics,_Science_and_Technology_schools]Category:National”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:National_Consortium_for_Specialized_Secondary_Schools_of_Mathematics,_Science_and_Technology_schools)</p>

6

<p>I think that you are doing the right thing, as long as he is in a high school that offers enough AP and advanced courses to keep him challenged. If not – then look for opportunities outside school to keep him engaged and challenged. </p>

<p>You are 100% right to look at the maturity issue. I have a son who was a National Merit finalist and went off to college at the normal age, but really didn’t have the emotional maturity or discipline for college, and did not do well. He quit school, went to work, and transferred to a lesser state U several years later and then did well-- but the point of the story is that you can’t really rush emotional growth. You can foster it, though – so one thing to do over the next few years would be to nudge your son toward the types of activities that will help him develop increased maturity and improved interpersonal skills and sense of responsibility. (By the way, he sounds like a normal 15 year old – I wouldn’t expect much “maturity” at this age any way – unfortunately many people don’t understand that intellectual giftedness does not necessarily correlate to emotional maturity).</p>

7

<p>It’s always hard to know what’s best when you’re a parent, isn’t it… Listen to your instincts… you know he’s not ready for college right now. </p>

<p>You might want to contact the people at Bard College at Simon’s Rock. They exist to meet the needs of extremely bright students who are ready to study college material. Kids usually enter after 10th grade I believe. But if you speak to them now, they might have good advice for you. I considered this for my daughter (bright, but not at your son’s level.)</p>

<p>Does your son have a special interest? There are programs around that go into topics not ever taught at a high school level. Art of Problem Solving for math as an example. MIT open courseware and other self-taught self-paced programs could fill a void.</p>

8

<p>I agree -my oldest son was above most students and many teachers in our small town, but he was very backwards socially. He took some classes ahead-went to the HS for math when he was in 7th grade at my husband and my insistence, skipped a year of science and a year of french, but overall stayed with his age peers. He isn’t sorry to be starting college now. He found plenty of other things to do, like sports, programming websites for people, and running the school newspaper, that were very valuable experiences.We did have to advocate for him frequently but our public HS in upstate NY luckily offered enough to keep him busy.I wasn’t really ready to lose him, either.</p>

9

<p>Some gifted kids do fine staying in high school, but some need a different experience. Why does your son want to go to college now?</p>

10

<p>Agree with all above and my son went to college a year early. Is there a dual enrollment program available in your area?</p>

11

<p>You’ve got choices other than “stay here for high school” and “enter a regular college with kids much older.” There are rigorous boarding schools, which give scholarships; there are on-line courses; there are community colleges where he could take courses while living at home; some districts have dual -enrollment options; there are some college programs where young kids are housed together and given more adult supervision that “regular” college kids. </p>

<p>I don’t know what his interests are, but doing well on the PSAT doesn’t mean he’s mastered the subject matter he needs to succeed in college. I doubt he could walk into a college physics class without any high school physics or calculus, for example.</p>

12

<p>From a student’s perspective, I think you are doing the right thing. I do have a friend who went to college at sixteen and turned out fine, but that was with only skipping his senior year (he turned 17 a month in, he was already young for his year). And even then, he only did it after several college admissions people at high ranked schools told him (and his parents!) that he seemed mature enough. </p>

<p>And although he did, as I say, turn out well, he didn’t do as well in college as one might have expected, esp. in his later years (not that he did badly, just he was a B student instead of the A student he could have been) – he was just tired of giving 108% percent all of the time. And now that he’s graduated, he doesn’t really feel ready for the real world, and is taking something of a year off while applying to grads schools</p>

<p>If your son is really bored in high school, but still not mature, something that could work is to apply to college after, say, his junior year (or skip ONE of sophomore or junior year, graduating young), and then take a gap year doing something that will be a real challenge, and is social – Amircorpse, for instance. That way, he will be caught up age wise going into college, and gap years, if spent well, can really great experiences. </p>

<p>Though I also agree that you should just make sure he has enough opportunity to challenge himself intellectually during high school – he doesn’t have to be bored, even if he does all four years. There were two kids in my high school class who were EXCEPTIONALLY good at math/science, but both of them stayed all four years. They just took classes (some summer, I think some during school once they could drive) at a top local Uni, they did some independent studies together with some of the math teachers, etc. Obviously, how many opportunities there will be in this vein will depend on your school and financial limitations, but as long as the school also offers APS, etc, your son will probably find a way to be challenged.</p>

13

<p>I was spared the burden of having really super-gifted children. I know how that can weigh on parents. It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is.</p>

<p>I was in something of a position like that, but I had no interest in going to college early, so my parents just concerned themselves with making certain I had challenging stuff to do. I did a year-abroad program in 10th grade, took college courses in 11th, started new things. Chased girls. But that was my choice.</p>

<p>Here are some options you could think about:</p>

<p>– Simon’s Rock College of Bard University. This is essentially a specialized college for kids who leave high school early. I believe most of them transfer to another college after a couple of years. It is supposed to be set up well as a transition to college for students who are younger, and whose maturity may not have caught up with their intellectual prowess.</p>

<p>– Prep school. A lot of kids who have blown through the educational resources at home wind up going to boarding schools for a couple of years. The good ones – and there are quite a number – offer plenty of intellectual challenge and intellectual peers, as well as a practical education in becoming more independent and getting along with others. Horribly expensive, but some financial aid may be available.</p>

<p>– Exchange programs. Going abroad provides plenty of challenge and stimulation, and also independence (but not as much as going to college, and in a more age-appropriate context).</p>

<p>– Living at home and going to a local university. Both the traditional high school experience and the traditional college experience are nice, but they are hardly indispensable, and they are not for some kids. This can be a decent option, including the possibility of moving into a dorm after a few years, or transferring to a residential college.</p>

14

<p>My husband went to college at 15, and he is a strong advocate of not doing what he did. Especially if you’re a boy. Throughout college, my husband was known as “Robin” (as in Batman and …). He had no trouble academically, but looking back, he wished he had been able to have a different kind of social life in college.</p>

15

<p>When my son was in 9th grade, he got a 231 on the PSAT. His 223 PSAT score in his sophomore year was activated for the NM competition, and he was named a SF this fall, w00t! He was in 10th grade last year, and is now at Simon’s Rock. My high school dropout; I’m so proud! :D</p>

<p>I agree with others that your only choices are not staying where he is and a regular college; there are plenty of things in-between, including distance learning courses, one or more classes at a local college, more challenging courses at his current high school, and so on. In high school, many classes are mixed ages; I know my son’s math classes had kids two and three years older than he in them, for example. </p>

<p>Since your son is barely 15, he is eligible for CTY programs (Center for Talented Youth, at Johns Hopkins); you might look into those, especially the summer programs and distance learning. Depending on where you live, another such organization may be closer to you. Duke U has TIP, Stanford EPGY, and there are several similar other programs around the country. I don’t know which such org serves Texas, but certainly look around for these. </p>

<p>CTY was a godsend for my son; he was finally with other gifted kids and thrived during the summer programs.</p>

<p>If your son wants more more more from his schooling, I’d find a way to give it to him. There are many options!</p>

16

<p>I’d also recommend reading the book What High Schools Don’t Tell You… it outlines some nice summer programs. I’ve done a lot of researching on geeky-type activities outside the classroom. If this fits your son, you could pm me if you’d like.</p>

17

<p>When D1 was a senior, there was a very bright 9th grader in her AP Physics class. The boy was taking a math course one level above D1. They all treated the 9th grader well, but they did have to watch what they said in front of him. Sometimes when some students got out of line with some teasing, someone always stepped in. I think it was the case because it’s a small school where everyone knew each other. The 9th grader stayed with his peers for homeroom, sports and other electives. It was the best of both world for him. D1’s school offered enough advance courses for him to be intellectually challenged at least until he was Junior, and he was able to socialize with kids his age. Since D1 graduated I don’t know whether the kid graduated early.</p>

18

<p>As a teacher, I have seen numerous kids score at the “post-HS” level even when they are only in middle school. (My LD son scored at this level too; he was in 5th grade.) Does that mean he should be placed in a post-HS program? Absolutely not. It sounds like your very bright son is doing exactly what he should be doing: growing up. He should be academically challenged, but let him grow up in the environment where he’s allowed to be who he is. (Technically, that simply means that he understands material at the post-HS level.)</p>

<p>PS: My nephew, now 41 years old, had been offered to attend JHU when he was 14. My sister wisely declined their offer.</p>

19

<p>If your son is doing okay in high school (not flunking his classes due to boredom, making some friends, seems pretty happy), then why move him? He may be academically challenged in college, but he probably won’t be socially happy. Plus, why deprive him of the chance to share normal experiences with other kids his age? Prom, first date, driving lessons, these are more than just pointless exercises, they help create a collective “teenage experience” sharing in which gives you a common basis for relating to your peers. Not to mention that your life experiences help enrich your college experience. If he goes now, he won’t get as much out of it, nor will he have as much to bring.</p>

20

<p>I suggest that you go to the Hoagie’s web page, where you will find lots of links to resources you can use, including subscription lists devoted to gifted children and their families. You will find people there who have faced these issues and found varied ways to address them, depending on the needs of their kids and the resources of their families.</p>