What Should We Do?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Time to wake up my dead horse and start beating. I’m hoping the staff at your kid’s school is not basing all this on that PSAT score. Do not base any decision about this on the results of a college-board exam. If they are recommending college I would hope that your kid has already finished all the math available at his school, as well as all the AP/IB level language, science, history, etc. If he has, then you could begin to consider this, or at least some alternative.</p>

<p>Only you can truly judge your kid’s maturity level. I started college at 16. Lot’s of kids do, it isn’t all that young. But that was after finishing three years of high school and one year where I went to high school part time and the community college the other part. I was actually more mature at 16 then I was at 20. I didn’t start screwing up in college until I hit 18 - I think I got a late blast of hormones.</p>

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<p>DeirdreTours,</p>

<p>I think the reason “going to college next year” was the advice from his middle school was that he fell somewhere in the “profoundly gifted” range. They said that his abilities were so far above the rest of his classmates that they had no idea what to teach him. Not wanting to let him go to college after the 8th grade, but still wanting to challenge him, I gave him a college physics book (with calculus) along with a calculus book about a year ago, and he has mastered that material. He seems to gravitiate toward math and theoretical physics. His hero is Stephen Hawking.</p>

<p>I was a NM Scholar (graduated form HS in 1972), but there is NO WAY I am was close to his league. I had to work in some of my courses, especially the ones I hated like economics (yuk!). He has a lot of friends at school, could do sports, but doesn’t want to. He would be a good linebacker or shot putter. All he is really interested in is math and physics, almost to the exclusion of everything else. He tolerates English and does like American Literature. He tolerates history classes. He likes PE, go figure!</p>

<p>He likes his school, but he finds most of the work extremely boring and downright demeaning. For instance, his Biology teacher assigns homework that involves art more than it involves Biology. I think after we have our “meeting” with him, we will try to have a meeting with the guidance counselor to decide what would be the best placement for him. I like the idea of the magnet school. He probably will not. My guess is that he will opt for AP classes and correspondence courses from UT. I get the feeling that if he can’t go to college now, he would rather stay at his current school, but we’ll see what he comes up with.</p>

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<p>AmyinAustin:</p>

<p>My S began studying calculus on his own in 7th grade, took the BC-Calculus and AP-Physics tests in 8th grade and scored 5s on both. He studied calculus on his own. To prepare himself for Physics, he attended the CTY summer course and audited the AP-Physics class at the high school. As I said above, he took college classes beginning in 9th grade (multivariable calc and linear algebra) and going from there. It is by no means unusual for a 9th grader to take AP classes or high schoolers to take college classes . The benefit of our approach is not only the opportunity to stay with age peers but also to do the sort of ECs that will make a student more attractive to adcoms. As it turns out, he was one year or more younger than his college roommates.
S liked to be with other students and his school did not like distance programs (it’s literally on Harvard’s doorstep, and the Harvard Extension School serves a large number of Boston-area high-schoolers). So the compromise we reached worked out quite well for S.</p>

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<p>Here are some things we’ve done to make high school more palatable for a student who could have easily taken college courses as a once-skipped 9th grader.</p>

<ul>
<li><p>Take AP courses early. She took AP Human Geography as an 8th grader, AP French, AP Calc BC, and AP Chem as a 9th grader, and is taking AP World History (normal for 10th graders), AP Spanish, AP Biology (only a few 10th graders), and AP Physics C as a 10th grader. </p></li>
<li><p>Find a group where he’s “normal,” not a freak or weirdo. She went to MathCamp this past summer and plans to go this next summer. </p></li>
<li><p>Courses outside of school. She’s beyond the math offered in school, and transportation and ECs make community college classes difficult. So, she’s taking math through UIUC’s netmath program. In the past, she’s taken additional classes from eIMACS, Art of Problem Solving, Johns Hopkins’ CTY and Northwestern’s CTD. Dual enrollment at local schools is good, too, if you can make it work for you.</p></li>
<li><p>There are Olympiads in Math, Chemistry, Physics, Biology, Computers, and Linguistics. There are a series of competitions to get to the National camp/team level before going to the international level. All the kids on the national level are going to be advanced and COULD be doing college if they wanted. </p></li>
<li><p>Find other ways to extend classroom learning. My daughter still has someone come speak & read French with her each week, even though she’s no longer taking French. If he’s a science kid, can he intern with a vet or work on a serious science project? Think about his interests and what can be done to support them.</p></li>
<li><p>Adjust his schedule as much as possible to let him accomplish what he needs to in high school, while giving him time to pursue his passion(s).</p></li>
<li><p>Fitting in seems to be the biggest high school issue in our house. Luckily, she’s found spots where she belongs among the speech/debate kids and the academic team (it’s like quiz bowl) kids. Outside of school, it’s the kids at dance, fencing, and church. </p></li>
<li><p>Next year (hopefully), my daughter is off to our state math & science boarding school.</p></li>
<li><p>Recognize there will be some bumps. There are usually some hoops to jump through at some point. Just make sure the whole day isn’t hoop-jumping.</p></li>
</ul>

<p>You might want to consider the TAGPDQ e-mail list. </p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

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<p>^^Nice list!</p>

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<p>Like others here have said, you can sometimes do a hybrid-type thing. By the time he was 16 my son was taking a few classes at the high school (he also participated in high school sports) and took classes at the same time at the local univ.</p>

<p>My daughter started with a couple community college classes when she was 14. She also did a great deal of independent learning. She started college full-time at 16.</p>

<p>For her that was an obvious choice. For my son it made more sense for him to leave home and start college at a more typical age. But both found ways to stay academically engaged prior to starting college.</p>

47

<p>This is what son has decided to do:

  1. Stay at his current school - he likes his school and has a lot of friends there
  2. Take all the AP classes that are offered.
  3. Do “dual-enrollment” correspondence classes at UT when applicable
  4. Think about joining the track team - shot put.
  5. Do extra projects on the side involving QUEST ISM
  6. Slow down and enjoy life (I like that one!)</p>
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<p>Your son seems not just super-smart but also super-wise. All good decisions (especially #6).</p>

49

<p>Yeah! Sounds good. The time that we have our kids at home, in the nuclear family nest, is so short. I’m not a fan of rushing this, even with very bright kids, when there are other options…</p>

50

<p>amy- Sounds like a good decision. The only thing I would add is that if for some reason he doesn’t join the track team, he get involved in another sport/activity at school.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

51

<p>OP, kudos to your son (and you) for coming up with this sensible 6-point plan for the near future. I am sure he will blossom into a smart AND well-rounded individual.</p>

<p>Given your son’s interest in math and physics, I would strongly urge you to explore research opportunities as a way to keep him challenged. UT, Baylor, and Texas Tech offer summer research programs for rising seniors, and many students go on to submit their projects for Siemens / INTEL competitions. This could be one way for your son to differentiate himself further.</p>

<p>If you would like more information, send me a PM.</p>

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<p>If the UT courses don’t work out for some reason, I’d like to put in a plug for Stanford’s EPGY. The AP Physics classes were a good solution for my son (more due to a schedule conflict than to excessive brilliance). Good, solid instruction and helpful exercises. He did well on the AP test without doing any studying at all for it. [Education</a> Program for Gifted Youth](<a href=“http://epgy.stanford.edu/]Education”>http://epgy.stanford.edu/)</p>

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<p>(new user name to protect my CC identity :smiley: )
(warning: post may contain angst)</p>

<p>I was in roughly the same situation three years ago as a freshman. I took the ACT on a lark, and ended up with a 31 - making me the highest scorer in my small/medium sized student high school. Using that score as leverage, I (with some assistance from my parents) were able to convince the school administration to skip me to upper class courses at my high school as a sophomore. Even taking the more advanced courses left me unchallenged - I’d here the others in the class talking about how badly they had done on a test or how long they had to study. I just skated through it all, and wondered how anyone could think that this curriculum was hard. In addition, I retook the ACT as a sophomore, and received a 36. </p>

<p>Through all of this, I matured from a shy person into one that had friends in every class and who was never home on a Saturday night. </p>

<p>Then came my junior year. I took every AP offered (grand total of 4) and four other “advanced” classes - and ended one semester with straight A+'s. Then, looking ahead to my senior year, there was nothing left to take. Since I live in Wisconsin, there is a state-funded dual enrollment program called Youth Options - but it will only pay for a student to take 18 post-secondary credits (about four classes). I needed a lot more than that, as I had nothing left to take all year at my high school! There was no research-type opportunities or programs, and the nearest college is a 40 minute drive away. </p>

<p>So, I decided to graduate as a junior. I had fulfilled all graduation requirements, and would have been the valedictorian of my school’s class of 2009. However, my parents literally shut that door in my face. They said that I was not mature enough to go to college - end of story. I think that they saw me wanting to leave early as a “spitting on my ancestors” type of thing - I’ve been pretty vocal about my dislike of small town life over the years. My school actually supported my bid to graduate early - all of my teachers and my guidance counselor (who knows me very well) said that I would do great if I left for college a year early. </p>

<p>While this drama was playing out, I applied and was accepted to a science enrichment program called the Summer Science Program. It’s a six week residential program for rising seniors that involves determining the orbit of an asteroid, with all of the science and math associated with that. At this program, I met students who had all of the opportunities I didn’t - they did research that placed at Intel, had linear algebra taught at their high school, studied abroad, did full time dual enrollment. My experience at summer camp both gave me hope for the future and confirmed what living in a small town had cost me. </p>

<p>Senior year. Almost all of my friends had been class of 2009, so I was pretty much alone again. Through a long and complicated process, my senior schedule included two high school classes (electives), two online AP courses, and two courses at the college that is 40 minutes (one way) away (Calculus 2 and Physics with Calculus). I drive to college every day, drive back for high school, go to work, come home, and do homework. My social life is pretty much nonexistent outside of ECs - after all, most of my friends graduated or live in different states. </p>

<p>I would not recommend this route to anyone. Staying for “senior year” has pretty much ruined my life. Every day I walk through the hall of my high school and just feel so isolated, as I know few of the people in my own class - and it’s the same at college. Because I commute, I can’t get involved in organizations there, as they all meet in the afternoon when I’m back in my town. </p>

<p>To sum up my current life: I’m really lonely, I’m losing my motivation to work hard, and all I can do about it is sit at home and look at the parents who did this to me.</p>

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<h1>33, I like Midwestmom2kids, suggestion. Encourage DS towards the arts, music, athletics that are not size or age dependent.</h1>

<p>Our DS skipped 1 elementary grade and was encourage to skip 2. We said, just 1, thankyou.</p>

<p>DS now 24, finished his MS at 22. He spent 15 mns on postgrad internships, before he started in the workforce, but he is finally at his age-education maturity and his current hobbies are in the arts and outdoor photography.</p>

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<p>I dated in HS, a girl classmate, who skipped 2 elementary grades. She was more than physically mature and intellectually for me. She had friends that were at my age level and older. She did well in HS and went to well known college on multiple scholarships.</p>

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<p>Although this is a difficult time for you, fortunately it’s a one-year problem. Next year you will be at college full-time, which will be an entirely different experience – and almost certainly, a much better one. You have much to look forward to.</p>

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<p>Shadow42, your situation sounds quite different than the OP’s S. Although you are both quite academically gifted, you are a girl who seems quite mature for your age. Her S is a boy, and she says he is rather immature - and only in 9th grade. Plus boys tend to mature later (not all boys, but in general). So I think the advice to the OP would be different from advice to your parents.</p>

<p>Your frustration is understandable. You’re caught between 2 worlds, hs and college, and you don’t fit into one and can’t join in at the other. I’d have some “angst” myself if I were in your shoes! Hopefully next year you’ll be off at college, meeting friends and being intellectually challenged again. Until then, just keep reminding yourself “this too shall pass, this too shall pass…” </p>

<p>(And be careful that your attitude doesn’t come off to others as “I’m too good to be here.” No one likes to be around someone who feels superior to everyone else. Not saying that you’re doing that, but it would be an easy mode to fall into, especially since you’re so bored and frustrated.)</p>

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<p>re-read the posts of JHS and owlice and anyone who agrees with them. Wonderful advice from trusted and informed CC posters</p>

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<p>I was accelerated a year - I was always proud to be the youngest in the group – but boy was I behind in the social scenes. There is always a span of ages in a grade and in maturities. To be short, skinny and hairless (or breastless) amongst the gorillas is no fun (unless one has a great sense of humor and endless clever zingers). </p>

<p>There’s always open ended activities like theater or construction. If there are easy A’s in calculus and physics, then balance that with opportunities to build an addition to the house (seriously, two cousins did this as a senior project) or develop an improv group.
Good luck!</p>

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<p>There was a child at my middle school who went to PE, art, cooking class, lunch, etc at MS, some academics at HS and math and science at a nearby university - which happened to be an Ivy. He was brilliant and seemed to enjoy and thrive in this arrangement.</p>