I have asked for my letter of recommendations from the people I need it (yay, hurrah.) I have had some of the people I ask ask me if I want them to highlight a specific trait or skill in their letter.
I don’t really know how to approach this.
I have a lot of “traits” I would like a teacher to talk about but I worry that listing them may make me sound self-centered or that the teacher hasn’t seen that certain trait in me. Mostly I’m just worried about sounding egotistical.
The traits I want highlighted may also be a little cliche so I don’t know if it is worth mentioning.
An idea of my list: leadership (argh, so cliche), ambition/motivation, dedication, discipline, articulate (demonstrated through class presentations? interactions?)
I genuinely do believe that these traits have been reflected in my performance during the school year but my teachers have so many students I worry that they haven’t noticed that certain trait in me or they didn’t see me as having a certain trait.
Maybe even trait suggestions? I feel like it is hard to describe myself. I will definitely think and sit on this more but I feel like I should quickly reply to these emails.
I know I am overthinking this but some advice or reassurance is always appreciated!
Hi! What we have heard multiple times is that LOR are NOT really factored in to admission decisions UNLESS - they are negative in any way or exceptional in any way - and that means the teacher would have to write that you are exceptional in some way, and stand out as the top among all the students that they have encountered. If you think that you will have standard/strong/positive letters, then please stop stressing and know that the letters will do what they need to do. Now focus on your essays and other parts of the application.
Leadership is cliche for a reason, and unlike with many other things you listed, leadership is not necessarily evidenced by a high grade.
Other things like that include being kind, generous, funny, a good listener, and so on. Broadly speaking, these are “social” rather than “academic” virtues, and to the extent a recommender can talk about such social virtues in a personal way, that could stand out.
That said, I agree with the other poster–a recommendation that “just” talks about what a great student you were is almost surely not going to hurt you. I think these teachers are giving you an opportunity to tell them what sort of non-academic personal image you are trying to paint, and offering to help. But none of that is mandatory.
As a final thought, a lot of this process seems to be about forcing kids to engage in a level of self-advocacy that is uncomfortable for many of them. It is actually a really important life skill in many different contexts, but I completely understand not enjoying it, particularly at your stage in life.
But just keep in mind that most teachers care about their students, want the best for their students, and are very much on your side in all this. They are almost surely not at all interested in making this more stressful for you, judging how you handle yourself, or anything like that. Instead, what they are basically asking for is a game plan for Team Get-auk-Into-College, and they are already happy to be on that team.
It’s important that your whole application hang together, so your LOR shouldn’t talk about you in a way that shows you lack self-knowledge.
You don’t want to say you makes big contributions to groups you’re a part of only to have a teacher say you are quiet and they recognized your deeper thoughts through your eritten work.
It should also be something the recommender knows about you or ot won’t sound authentic -’ it’ll sound like you told them what you wanted them to write! So if your leader’s is in a club setting and your only contact with this teacher is in bio class, it might be weird for them to mention that.
What you suggest should allow them to write honestly and genuinely without further prompting.