What surprised you most about the college process?

Parents Forum
61

<p>1 - boys don’t go to college as much as girls</p>

<p>2 - That because we have always lived significantly below our means, we will just barely be able to scrape up our middle-income EFC. Probably.</p>

<p>3 - That outside scholarships will not reduce the EFC, but only reduce the need-based FA the school gives. This means that if my son gets enough merit scholarships to eliminate his loans, there is NO value to our family for him to apply for more scholarships because the school will take it all. The school should take only 2/3 of it or something so that he will have a reason to bother!</p>

62

<p>Qwertkey,</p>

<p>Confusion here.</p>

<p>Are you saying that HYPSM give less to FA and more to merit and that is why the URMS/AA are going state full ride because they place less on merit and more on FA.</p>

<p>Either way it seems very discriminatory.</p>

<p>URMs and AA have become a very hot topic button because many parents believe, incorrectly IMHO, that it is a hook, and the reason their child did not get accepted.
However, that being said, let’s admit, there is no reason to ask race or gender unless it is a factor.</p>

63

<p>“Are you saying that HYPSM give less to FA and more to merit and that is why the URMS/AA are going state full ride because they place less on merit and more on FA.”</p>

<p>No. The two statements were completely separate.</p>

<p>The first statement (about people taking the full ride at their public flagship) was a response to how it is that HYPSM aren’t competing for the best students as they should. They don’t give merit aid, where as there are strong state flagships that do, so some of the best students will go to those state flagships.</p>

<p>The URM statement was completely separate. I think the fact that so many people are talking about URM status here is a little weird. No where outside of threads about AA here do I ever see any discussion about it.</p>

64

<p>

</p>

<p>What, really? You must ignore the chance threads and the financial aid threads then. It seems like it comes up very often, usually someone insisting that being an URM is a guaranteed lock at every college, being a white male is like being a convicted school shooter in terms of admissions, and being an URM automatically equals a full-ride anywhere in the world even if you have a negative GPA and an 100 SAT after ScoreChoice. It comes up a lot even outside of the official Race thread; in fact, many threads end up being merged into that one.</p>

65

<p>I am with Gardna…it is every where on the Chance Thread, even to a point where kids ask if it is a HOOK? Some kids will state I am 1/16th American Indian is it true that I can be classified as a minority (ANSWER: YES, to some schools, if you can prove direct lineage).</p>

<p>I also do believe that being a white male in terms of admission…is PASS, NEXT PLEASE. Rightly so colleges want diversity, and that means a mixture of race and gender, unfortunately the white male is probably the highest percentage of applicants and that makes them the applicant that needs the most ECs to get a look at.</p>

<p>FWIW, I am a Mom of a boy and a girl. I believe both are equal, but I do think our DD had an easier route than our DS.</p>

66

<p>B&P,</p>

<p>I really can’t believe that you are serious when you say that a white male has it the hardest in college admissions. It is simply not true, and an official from Kenyon even wrote an apology in a newspaper a couple years back apologizing to girls about this matter.</p>

67

<p>"
FWIW, I am a Mom of a boy and a girl. I believe both are equal, but I do think our DD had an easier route than our DS."</p>

<p>^^ plus an Asian girl has 75% easier route than an Asian boy.</p>

68

<p>In general more girls apply and attend. Statistically, girls face a higher admissions challenge. This has been an issue at William and Mary, a state school. The admit rates for girls are much lower. This is true at many LAC’s as well.</p>

69

<p>gloworm.</p>

<p>No offense, but I have no clue regarding a university known as Kenyon. Can you enlighten me to the facts of this school, is it a LAC, a private, a state? I am on the east coast.</p>

<p>Compaq you made me giggle with your comment

</p>

<p>Our DS was a competitive TKD member, state and nationally ranked. His Master came from Skorea and was the Olympic coach there. His wife was pregnant and they bought a beautiful crib for the baby. He said “This is for our SON”…people turned and said “What if it is a girl?” He replied “we will return it and use the dresser drawer!” We all thought he was joking until, another Korean Mom said “No, Boys mean everything in the ASIAN world, he will return it!” Maybe that is why Asian girls have an easier route, since they already beat the system to get there</p>

70

<p>The biggest surprise was that a website (this website) and its contributors are the best source of accurate information on the college selection and admission process. Thank You…</p>

<p>That our local HS provided late and inaccurate college information to students and parents. Information about summer programs and many scholarship opportunities was released selectively (often to the families of parents who volunteered at the guidance office).</p>

<p>That being good at a sport gave you a much better chance at college admissions / scholarships than being good at academics. (OK - large PHS in the South )</p>

<p>That being a URM gave you a Much better chance at college admissions / scholarships. And then watching only the children of educated URM’s be able to go to good (or any) schools because of lack of HS / Family support, and a huge URM dropout rate. Any student without a good Mentor has little chance at success and a URM without a good Mentor has no chance… seems to me that the question we need to be asking is how shall we make sure that everyone has a equal opportunity in HS so it doesn’t appear so unequal in college admissions. (until we figure it out together I’m OK with todays perceived unfairness, but were loosing some of our best and brightest URM’s)</p>

<p>*** That the FASFA (EFC) is a joke for working middle class families. That almost all Merit scholarships come directly from private schools, and are basically a discount on overpriced (?) tuition. </p>

<p>That college fit is in the eye of the beholder, but perhaps more important than any other consideration. </p>

<p>PET PEVE: That SAT preparation gives you such a big advantage. Not more important than GPA, but more than giving hundreds of hours to make your community a better place to live, helping other students, and developing individual skills and leadership. That most colleges still use the SAT as a huge part of acceptance and scholarship consideration is a disgrace to thinking hard working students who don’t learn early how to “play the game”.</p>

71

<p>“What, really? You must ignore the chance threads and the financial aid threads then. It seems like it comes up very often, usually someone insisting that being an URM is a guaranteed lock at every college, being a white male is like being a convicted school shooter in terms of admissions, and being an URM automatically equals a full-ride anywhere in the world even if you have a negative GPA and an 100 SAT after ScoreChoice. It comes up a lot even outside of the official Race thread; in fact, many threads end up being merged into that one.”</p>

<p>Fair enough, I do stay out of the financial aid and chances threads.</p>

72

<p>My older son (white male) probably had a harder time getting into MIT. My younger son (white male) probably had an easier time getting into Vassar. Colleges want what they don’t have enough of. I’m fine with it. My kids would rather go to colleges where the gender gap is as small as possible.</p>

73

<p>bulletandpima,
Good one!!! I love your last comment: “Maybe that is why Asian girls have an easier route, since they already beat the system to get there”
May be Asian people feel romantic with Western male … American people feel romantic with Asian female. … You can not find any big name of Asian anchors or Asian actors here, can you ? Off topic, sorry</p>

74

<p>bulletandpima, Kenyon is a well-regarded LAC, located in Gambier, Ohio. Admissions are rather competitive. I think it is roughly comparable to Carleton and Williams, if that helps.</p>

<p>My brother graduated from Kenyon. People used to ask him why he went to college in Africa.</p>

75

<p>Incidentally, Kenyon is on the list of “CC Top Liberal Arts Colleges.”</p>

76

<p>Yes, what mathmom said is accurate. A boy will have an advantage at a LAC and a girl at a tech university. It is no different for the races. A school with very few URMs will give top URMs an advantage (remember, the US is about half non-white and most of these schools are still overwhelmingly white). Years ago, I was told by a person at an HBCU that they will give white kids an advantage.</p>

77

<p>NCMentor…+1. </p>

<p>I was surprised at how highly competitive the nursing programs are. I didn’t expect to find that schools where D was a safety or a match would be a reach for nursing.</p>

<p>I was surprised that not one of my kids actually chose their first-choice schools after going to admitted students days, weighing programs and scholarships, and re-thinking their undergraduate goals. </p>

<p>I was surprised by all of the nickel and diming on fees and add-ons. (Honestly, a mandatory “lounge fee” on top of the dorm cost, for my kid at Penn State who lived in a dorm?)</p>

<p>I was surprised at the poor quality of on-campus health care at my kids’ schools. (When visiting a health center during the swine flu epidemic, a violently-ill kid was told to go to a hospital “if still sick in a few days.”) I learned to locate a primary care physician near their schools! </p>

<p>I was surprised at how little the schools reached out to parents. I’m not sure what I expected, but aside from parents’ weekend, mass mailings to sell us sheets in the Fall and gift baskets for finals, and a few “parents’ fund” collection efforts, I feel detached. I would have loved an opportunity to subscribe to the school newspaper, to buy tickets to plays, recitals or concerts, or to send my kids’ cookies or goodies during a semester. The schools may complain about helicopter parents, but I think they are missing an opportunity here.</p>

<p>I was surprised at how poorly dressed both kids and their parents were for college visits. I know that it’s irrelevant since most schools don’t keep track of visitors. I’m just old-fashioned. </p>

<p>I was surprised at the large number of tour guides who were untrained, spoke poorly, and who were disinterested in their tours. The good ones really stood out.</p>

<p>I was surprised by how quickly my kids adjusted to being away from home. I wanted/expected at least a few days of homesickness. Sigh.</p>

<p>I was surprised by some of the grades…really good ones in some tough subjects, and a few mediocre grades in other subjects. I discovered some of my kids are smarter than I thought. </p>

<p>I was surprised by some of the dates that were brought home. Very different types of people than some of their high school dates. (This is a good thing LOL).</p>

78

<p>To weigh in on the URM thing, as the mother of two members of that over-represented group, middle-class white girls: When we toured east coast schools, my daughter and her friend were really struck by the lack of diversity. They attend a modestly priced Catholic girls’ school in L.A. that reflects the city’s diversity (well, except for no boys). They were bothered by the schools that seemed 95% white, and want to be at schools where there are more kids who look like their current classmates.</p>

<p>It is to a school’s benefit as an educational institution and a community of learners to build a population that is diverse in terms of race, income, religious background, etc., and it is to their benefit to strive to have a student population that is as balanced as possible, gender-wise.</p>

<p>Even though this may mean my daughters had/will have a bit more difficult time getting into schools that boys and/or URM may get into, I think it’s a small price to pay for creating college communities where there are many perspectives, backgrounds, cultures and opinions. College is not just about book learning, it’s about learning to become an adult citizen of the world, and we live in a diverse world now!</p>

79

<p>B&P,</p>

<p>See Quant Mech’s comments about Kenyon.</p>

<p>I looked up some schools you might know about out east. I should also note that these are current enrollment figures, none older than 2008, and not app. figures. Often males will be accepted at a higher rate for gender balance. In some schools the reverse might be true, but for the last several years, more females have been applying to/attending colleges/universities at a higher rate than males. </p>

<p>Percent is females attending.</p>

<p>Temple 63%
UMD-CP 50%
UPenn 52%
UMiami 53%
Johns Hopkins 52%
UVA-Main 56%
UNC-CH 59%
Vassar 60%</p>

80

<p>researching4emb, I agree wholeheartedly!</p>