What to do about my stressed mother and paying for college?

<p>@mom2collegekids‌ will the OP qualify for merit at Bama if she is a national achievement scholar? Could she get a free ride?</p>

<p>^^
She would get the BIG scholarship for being NA from Alabama. NA and NMF get the same big award.</p>

<p>National Merit or Achievement Finalist Package</p>

<p>Value of tuition for up to five years or 10 semesters for degree-seeking undergraduate and graduate studies</p>

<p>One year of on-campus housing at regular room rate* (based on assignment by Housing and Residential Communities)</p>

<p>A $3,500 per year Merit/Achievement Scholarship stipend for four years. A student must maintain at least a 3.3 GPA to continue receiving this scholarship stipend. If a corporate-sponsored scholarship from the National Merit Corporation is received, the total value cannot exceed $3,500. (For example, if you receive a corporate-sponsored scholarship of $2,000 per year, UA will contribute $1,500 per year to reach the total stipend amount of $3,500.)</p>

<p>One-time allowance of $2,000 for use in summer research or international study (after completing one year of study at UA)</p>

<p>iPad</p>

<p>Her remaining costs would be very low…probably low enough that her mom would happily pay the balance. And a student loan of 5500 would also help if needed.</p>

<p>OP, if you are a National Achievement finalist, consider University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa). You would get free tuition, some housing benefits and other stipends as outlined by mom2collegekids. Since it seems like money will be an issue for you, give it serious consideration. Don’t dismiss it without researching it. Coming out of college with little or no debt is a big plus. </p>

<p>One very nice feature about the Alabama scholarship is that it is for 10 semesters, so a student could use one of those semesters for a summer abroad. The school gives the student the $12k tuition and that usually covers an entire summer abroad program - including travel.</p>

<p>The challenge is that OP would not find out if she will be national merit achievement until late next spring. Op will still need some affordable options</p>

<p><a href=“National Merit Scholars – Scholarships | The University of Alabama”>http://scholarships.ua.edu/nationalscholars/&lt;/a&gt;
As a semifinalist she will get full tuition but not the other benefits. She should find out by September if she is semifinalist. </p>

<p>If your parents can qualify as separated by FAFSA standards, you would use your custodial parent, which is the parent with whom you lived with the most during the 12 months prior to filing FAFSA. If your parents are filing separate tax returns with separate residences this may be something doable. Read very carefully what it takes to be considered separated. Having a second home else where, but still actually living with ones spouse in the same house, commuting to work from there, is not likely to fly as a separated couple. </p>

<p>Yes, it would be very nice if you could get financial info from your parents, their AGI from their tax returns plus any amount they may put away in shelterd plans like 401K or HSA that has to be added back to that number, and some idea of what assets they hold, including the approx values of the homes they own after taking into account any mortgage or other lien against the house. That would give you what you need to run NPCs of various schools and get some idea of what kind of financial aid you can expect. </p>

<p>However, if they won’t give the information, and I know a lot of parents who outright refuse, or if they make enough so that you won’t get aid, the whole financial aid thing is not going to happen. What’s important is knowing how much money you can expect them to pay each year. That will give you some idea as to what are some possibilities. If between the two parents, they can pay up $50-60K a year, you can pretty much look at any school. If it’s more like $30-40K a year, you can look at going away to your instate schools, and some OOS shool and lower cost privates are in the loop. Also schools where you stand a chance of getting a merit award to bring the price down to an affordable range. </p>

<p>If your parents cannot give you much at all, you should be looking more at local options where your room/board and a lot of living expenses can be covered as they are right now, and you find schools where the tuition is doable. </p>

<p>You might want to have schools of various costs and risks on your list and see how things pan out. If you do indeed get some nice merit awards, so much the better. Otherwise, you will have to go to low cost schools, maybe in state local schools. </p>

<p>The sticky at the top of this forum has some sure thing scholarships and some schools that have competitive big number awards. When a school catches your eye, look at what scholarships they have, and what your chances are of snagging one. If a school only has a handful of top gun awards, and your numbers are not in the upper 25% without any special hook, you aren’t likely to get one of those very competitive awards. Or some schools will out and out say that their top award is say $25K, and that may not be enough if the sticker price of the school is $60K+. Or some schools give out NO merit whatsoever . With no financial info from parents, or if your parents make too much to get the aid you will need to make it work, then those schools are a waste of time to put on your list. It’s risky enough with school that have ANY stipulation to get the money to make it work, so don’t bother casting your line in a pond with so few fish that are good eatin’. Go where the pickings are more plentiful and the odds are better that you get something affordable. </p>

<p>Also, I would talk to my brother if I were in that situation and glean what info I could from him as to his and your parents experience with fin aid and paying for college. If he went through the whole fin aid thing, and can tell you that mom makes way too much money to get any money, unless she’s gotten a big drop in pay, it’s ,likely the same situation applies. My good friend’s daughter was very bitter about her dad refusing to give out his financial info, and I could not get it through her head that it didn’t matter–he made WAY too much money for her to get any financial aid. If you can get some idea what the numbers are, you can run some estimates and see what kind of aid is even remotely possible. Also if he tells you that getting the tuition paid each term was a hassle and struggle, you can get some idea as to what the issues are that your parents don’t want to discuss with you.</p>

<p>I am planning on entering the entertainment business. I want to become an actress, and a freelance composer. I had to compromise with my mom over this, by double majoring in acting/drama and something else. I have decided on journalism for right now, as I love writing and media. Obviously this could change, but that is what I am using to differentiate between schools. </p>

<p>That is why I said that thing about my radar. I want to be able to feel comfortable with every place I apply, so i am trying to find schools with solid drama/journalism programs and good music opportunities. I am looking for a residential campus close to an urban environment, so that I could have in and out of school experiences. Howard, already a good school, is right there in D.C., and Temple is in Philidelphia. The other schools, I am not too sure have thriving theater and music scenes. I am researching it all, and it is taking some time. I know I’ll have to compromise on some factors anyway. The summer abroad thing sounds great, I really want to go abroad. </p>

<p>My mom is not in management, but she has been working at one hospital for 30 years and works at another hospital pretty often. She also works as much overtime as she is offered, even though they cut it back recently…</p>

<p>@sybbie719‌, I have checked out Purchase but it doesn’t seem like I’d be able to double major there given my interests, which is a big thing for me. And it is SO competitive, I don’t know if I feel comfortable having it as any type of safety.</p>

<p>My tentative list so far is:
Northwestern University
USC
Syracuse University
Vassar College
(Muhlenberg College maybe, it didn’t feel like a good fit for me)
University of Maryland, College Park
Howard University
UPenn, Yale, UChicago, or Brown (once again, not really sure)
CUNY Brooklyn College
CUNY Hunter College
SUNY New Paltz
(I am still looking into SUNYs, I want at least one more)</p>

<p>The ballpark figure my parents gave is x<$35,000
I have some pricey schools on my list, but I figured that as long as I have a decent shot at some of these places and good safeties, why not?</p>

<p>@cptofthehouse, I plan on having that talk with my brother tonight. He hasn’t come home yet from work.</p>

<p>I spoke to my mother this morning, and she was a bit more understanding. I used a lot of the information @mom2collegekids, @prefect, and everyone else told me. (Thank you for that!) I think she is turning around.</p>

<p>Unfortunately with the exception of SUNY/CUNY (howard would be affordable if your parents pay the 35k and you take the $5500 loan), you do not have any financial safeties. It is highly unlikely that you are going to get need based aid at any of the schools on your list (as your parents income/assets would even put you out of the running for super aid schools like HYP because you don’t have “normal” assets).</p>

<p>I figured as much. Well I am still looking to improve my list.</p>

<p>I just spoke with my brother and he said that he was about to get some aid. He told me he used what he got from my parents’ taxes and what my mother told him. </p>

<p>I will be doing more searching into outside/merit scholarships and financial safety schools. Thanks again!</p>

<p><<<
The challenge is that OP would not find out if she will be national merit achievement until late next spring. Op will still need some affordable options
<<<</p>

<p>??</p>

<p>late next spring? Is that true? NMFs find out in early Feb. Dont NA’s find out about the same? </p>

<p>I agree that she needs other options, but even as a NASF (which she would know in the fall), Bama would give her free tuition. Once she becomes a NA finalist, she would be awarded the rest. </p>

<p>Even if the mom says she can pay $35k per year, I would have financial safeties that cost a lot less since there are two households to support…those are quite costly.</p>

<p>National Achievement is a one time $2500 award. In late february, they notify 800 students if they made finalist. You do not find out til late march (some of my kids April), if they actually won an award</p>

<p>^
Oh, I wasn’t talking about the one time 2500 award. I was recommending the student apply to some schools, particularly Alabama, which gives large awards to those who are semi-finalists and finalists. The student will know that she is a semi-finalist in the fall, and will learn that she is a finalist in feb. </p>

<p>If OP is graduating from a NYC high school, the CUNY/SUNY systems are good financial safeties. Instate costs for SUNY are roughly $22k/year. CUNY tuition is about $6k. If a student lives at home, total est. cost is about $13k/year; if s/he lives away from home, it’s about $20k.</p>

<p>OP, start looking seriously into SUNYs while you figure out what other schools to try. Why not try two or three? Purchase and New Paltz are artsy campuses, is there another you can identify? You can do an Early Action app in Nov (by the 15?) through Common App or through the SUNY app. Not sure if Bing has enough art culture for you(haven’t visited) or if your stats are high enough but it is certainly well-regarded.</p>

<p>You have gotten some excellent advice from well-seasoned posters on this thread, good luck!</p>

<p>If you end up NMF, Fordham has a partial scholarship. Caveat: I would be careful about private schools for the reasons pointed out above, even partial scholarships are 1) competitive and not necessarily automatic and 2) well, they’re stll partial. Figuring out where you will get enough merit aid and where the school is a good fit is a serious study, it will take some time. So again in the meantime, lining up a couple of SUNYs is a good idea.</p>

<p>SUNY Fredonia has some good music comp facilites Fordham gives good merit aid, and with a parental contribution of $30K+ it could be doable. Many OOS publics will make the list with that kind of budget and also any number of private schools that have merit awards. Northwestern does NOT give merit money, so the chances of getting sizeable money from them is about zilch. The same with Vassar, Penn , Brown and Yale, though Yale’s aid formula tends to be more generous than that of most schools, </p>

<p>With SUNYs as safeties, some schools where OP is at the top of the desirability chart and there is sufficient merit money available on the list, if you want to add some lottery tickets and see what happens, go right on ahead. As long as your base is covered, it’s fine. Just understand how things work in general, and how some things are really not likely to happen, so you don’t get yourself thinking that you will surely get a reach situation to work out. It can be a hard hit when the reality check comes.</p>

<p>National achievement scholarship at fordham.
S had a low 190’s PSAT and we had no idea he would end up a Na finalist. When he applied to fordham early action he knew before Christmas that he was accepted with a full tuition “semi-finalist” award. 44,000 dollars a year and will go up with tuition costs. He has to maintain 3.0 to keep this. We pay room and board which is about 16,000 dollars a year. Even if this award is competitive- The OP would have time to apply other places.
One school that he applied to gave full tuition to NMS but not NAF and that was a bummer. </p>

<p>He had excellent e.c, leadership and was valedictorian. We are full pay everywhere ( app. 200k) so we were thrilled that he could find a huge scholarship that wasn’t need based. He didn’t get any “diversity/minority” dollars anywhere else.</p>

<p>Seriously, I would take all schools off your list that don’t give merit. Ivies, Northwestern, etc. </p>

<p>As thumper asked, have your parents discussed with you how much they can afford to contribute to your educational costs out of their savings/current income and how much, if any, debt they are willing to take on to help finance this? That is the first thing to resolve. </p>

<p>In earlier threads you say your brother graduated college and is paying off school loans. What do you mean that he just found out he’ll get FA? Is he going back to school or is this another brother? Having 2 in school at once could affect the possibility of FA, though I suspect it still won’t be enough to make some of these schools affordable for your family.</p>

<p>If, as you reported in another thread, your mother made $180,000 last year and dad another $30-40,000 and you have significant equity in a 2nd home, then you will not receive any grant aid. You parents have been through the process of applying for FA with your brother, right? If the financial situation is no worse than it was then, they already have an idea of their EFC from years ago and it sounds like it may be higher now. Your mom may not want to go through the process of filling out all the forms because she knows she won’t qualify for any grant aid for you.</p>

<p>So how much can they pay? You can contribute optimistically $10,000/yr with your loans and earnings. Unless they will kick in another $50,000 from earnings/savings/loans, then you should just take schools like Brown, UPenn, Northwestern, etc. off your list. At Northwestern, you can get $2500/yr for NA, and that’s it. Chicago has some scholarships. I think the maximum is $15,000/yr(??). The others give nothing AFAIK. Though it is always possible the the theater dept has private donors funding talent-based scholarships,which you would have to check at each school.</p>

<p>If you want to look at pricey top schools, why don’t you consider schools like Vandy that court URMs with MOSAIC weekends and have scholarships to give to convince them to attend? All these top schools want to increase diversity and compete for the top AA students, but you need to focus on the ones where they offer at least some large merit awards. </p>

<p>You should be thinking hard about your majors, as that will affect your school list. Managing music/theater/journalism is not going to be easy and you should keep in mind the likelihood that you will want to drop back to a minor in one or 2 of those. So that you need to attend a school that HAS minors in the dept that you are most likely to drop back on. Also should note that any departmental merit/talent awards will be lost if you drop back to a minor, so you need to be very sure of your major or that you can afford the school without that portion of your award.</p>

<p>I would have recommended ASU, as they have excellent journalism and music depts. and give automatic full tuition scholarships to National Achievement Finalists and also stack talent awards on top of that.One of their recent black theater grads currently has the lead in a Broadway play:
<a href=“Help Center - The Arizona Republic”>Help Center - The Arizona Republic;
<a href=“The Best Journalism Schools In The Country: NewsPro Magazine Ranking | HuffPost College”>HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost;

<p>However, they do not have a theater minor at present. They added a music performance minor last year, but I don’t know if composition is included in that. You could check and see if they plan to add theater minor sometime soon. In journalism the only minor is ‘media analysis.’ For theater you can come in as ‘theater exploratory’ and audition during the first year if you don’t want to audition directly into the program in advance. But then lose your chance at freshman talent awards.</p>

<p>edited to add: I just saw you gave a number last night. If $35,000/yr is the max parental contribution, then you should just forget the top privates you had on your list, except maybe shoot for merit at Chicago. Unless you want to see if you can get admitted to any of them so you can have that as a brag item for your future life.</p>