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<p>Please explain why the above quote would not be considered offensive to some.</p>
<p>thumper, I think you misinterpreted YDS’s comment. YDS was saying that the policy of not having events in such clubs would be “wonderful.” Might that still be “offensive to some” – sure, but probably not the “some” you had in mind.</p>
<p>I read as thumper did, but reread it based on your interpretation and I do get it.</p>
<p>Emeraldkitty, Are you the same Emeraldkitty who was recently complaining about teenage music being tasteless and obscene?</p>
<p>I will clarify:</p>
<p>At one point in time perhaps some clubs (and some still) were more exclusive than others. Sexist/racist … those things tend to not be the problem anymore, meaning they have members of all colors, etc. It’s all about family and money. The problem, if you will, with country clubs in general is that they absolutely can choose members based on any criteria they want. This, in and of itself, would be considered prejudicial. Doesn’t mean they don’t have the perfect size banquet room for a team dinner and that they welcome the group should be good enough. Now, if we’re talking about a club who discriminates based solely on some bias (meaning they have no members of color or have refused all applicants of color) than yes, a good policy. But just because Susie’s family cant afford or better yet, doesn’t want to afford the fees associated with a private club doesn’t make it a bad place to have a banquet. Hiring outside caterers for an event in one of the event rooms on campus is actually more expensive than at the club. That’s my point of it being a hang up. It’s not exactly for the principal as much as a perceived stereotype which is equally discriminatory while I agree it is probably not necessarily an offensive one. Just saying. </p>
<p>I think having a college get together at a private country club is a little bit elitist and COULD be uncomfortable for some of the students. However, should it be held at the inner city park and be catered? Wouldn’t that be equally uncomfortable for some? Off point and I think I will go back outside and work in the sun some more. :)</p>
<p>In any social situation unless it says black tie… a blue button-down, khaki’s, a belt and loafers will get you thru. Add a blazer and you can go just about anywhere!!</p>
<p>I didn’t say the " music" was tasteless or obscene, but I did object to the lap dances it inspired.</p>
<p>I am also wondering what college is this?
The colleges I know of, usually host receptions at a hotel or other public type venue- not with dress codes.</p>
<p>What’s the difference between renting out a banquet room at a hotel and renting out a banquet room at a country club?</p>
<p>local hotels don’t have stated dress codes that I am aware of- they also dont have requirements to rent a room, beyond carrying plastic
but business casual in Seattle?
bwa-haha</p>
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<p>I think that’s the point. Why didn’t the college just rent a room at a nice hotel rather than at the country club…unless a country club member donated the use of the room.</p>
<p>LOL. Yeah, geekmom is right about what I meant.</p>
<p>thumper, that is probably exactly what happened. An alum is asked to host a reception. The alum decides the “club” is easier than doing it at home.</p>
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<p>What difference does it make? I don’t belong to a country club, never have and most likely never will, but … it’s just a club where people gather. What is so freakin’ intimidating about it?</p>
<p>To be honest, I would have loved to attend a reception at a country club. I’m sure those receptions are very nice!!</p>
<p>I am not sure intimidating is the problem. I think it’s more about the practices of the club. It could be against someone’s moral values if the club is uber cliquey or is known for a high level of discrimination in its membership practices. Still, you always have the right not to go and I agree that a country club can make these things seem far more personal vs being in a massive hotel.</p>
<p>Some groups, like our school, have many members of almost every country and private club. They might have also put the kabosh on club banquets because some members were ticked they werent being held at their club OR perhaps their club refused to do them. Who know. I just know that a lot of the times the staff at a private club is much more likely to work hard to please the member. They are not a passing customer.</p>
<p>Thanks guys for your suggestions, it was pretty much on point on what I thought I should wear, but I wanted to make sure. </p>
<p>Reading through the discussion, I do feel that this environment is a little intimidating. I’m not really worried about myself, but for my parents. Both my parents are immigrants and have lived rather modestly our whole lives – and they speak limited English. They haven’t really been exposed to the mannerism that is expected in a country club.</p>
<p>The school is Wake Forest, and given its generally extremely wealthy student body and alumni, I’m not that surprised they would host it in a country club vs hotel or home. </p>
<p>What do you think is appropriate for my mom to wear?</p>
<p>I don’t belong to a country club, golf club or swim club myself, but it never occurred to me that there would a problem with a private college holding an event there. I’ve been to plenty of weddings, bar mitzvahs, and PTA celebrations at them.</p>
<p>As to what your Mom should wear, that’s always more tricky. Skirt or nice pants (probably the latter unless it was summer - I don’t do skirts in the winter), blouse or scoop neck t-shirt and jacket/blazer, or twin set is probably what I would wear.</p>
<p>Your mom should wear something that is modest and which makes her feel good; a dress, skirt and top, or slacks and top. Please remember that you have already been accepted. What you and your parents wear doesn’t matter, except that it helps to have a sense of the environment so you feel comfortable. You and your parents have every reason to be proud of you and of your family’s accomplishments. Please also remember that, though the event is being held a country club, it is not a “club social event.” The guests are accepted students and their parents.</p>
<p>My brother and his wife lived in an area of Indiana, while rural included a country club membership. His wife is Columbian and she was the only Latina she saw there, that was not " help". ( She also commented on the " club" of white men- apparently still active in the region)</p>
<p>When I was a kid- a big part of being in a " club" was not only the commonality that brought you together as part of the “club”, but others were not * in the club*.
[KOMO</a> weatherman breaks down race barrier at Seattle Golf Club](<a href=“http://www.seattlepi.com/paynter/147822_paynter12.html]KOMO”>http://www.seattlepi.com/paynter/147822_paynter12.html) BTW- it took until 2003, for an African American to be allowed to join.</p>
<p>The hotels where I have attended college functions have been small- The colleges that change lives tour for instance- represented about 20 colleges- but they all were crammed into one or two rooms, where the tables filled the rooms, many hotels are designed as " boutique" hotels & are much cozier than the convention type places where huge events are held.</p>
<p>I’m pretty sure Wake’s accepted student receptions are hosted by alums in the area, so that would probably explain why it’s at the country club (likely the alum(s) that are hosting it are members of that club)…</p>
<p>If it would make her feel more comfortable to stay home, I’d say–Let Mom stay home.</p>