<p>I thought I would share this story. A relative graduated from MIT this past May with a BS in biology. He has moved back home. According to his mother, he has not even attempted to find work. He has no plans to apply to graduate school. He admitted to his mother that his grades were awful and he just barely graduated this year.</p>
<p>Just a bit of background info. He never worked while in high school or college. Although the majority of students at MIT participated in summer internships, he chose not to. Each summer he would sit at home. On numerous occasions while he was in college, he bragged to relatives that he was going to make a "boat load" of money because he went to MIT. He did not have to pay a cent to attend MIT because he is an underrepresented minority (URM) from a low income family. Seems like such a waste of an education.</p>
<p>So, what would you do if your son or daughter was not looking for work after graduating four months ago?</p>
<p>It would never had gotten that far…we would have insisted they partake in internships,summer jobs, etc…As a parent, your responsibility to guide doesn’t end with child entering college…i blame the parents,but since you say he/she is from a low income,minority family, they likley provided zero guidance…what a shame</p>
<p>First I would rue the fact that this had not been addressed a decade or more before. (Expectations, responsibilities, motivation, well-grounded self respect, etc.)</p>
<p>Wouldn’t have happened in my home. Both boys have worked since seventh grade.</p>
<p>I am disturbed by the racism in posts no. 1 and 2. I guess I’m just lucky that despite having URM children I’ve somehow managed to provide guidance. Good grief.</p>
<p>It is sad to think that MIT doesn’t offer these students more support in the job seeking process. I think this is true with many URMs at many universities . He could go back to his HS for the time being and offer support to younger students .He could contact MIT for support in getting a job . He is acting as if he didn’t go to college at all ! Perhaps he needs some support from counseling to build up his ego .</p>
<p>My DIL is in a graduate program at MIT. From her experience, opportunities abound and there is excellent help to access all the opportunities. I’m not sure how this young man escaped taking advantage of all the various opportunities around him…even just taking part in all the group projects and hearing the chitchat of what all the others are involved in/seeking would be motivating. </p>
<p>I sort of agree with post #7…I wonder if he is depressed, and if he has been depressed for a long time.</p>
<p>It’s not that MIT is an automatic golden ticket…but students at MIT often have more opportunities than the average bear, and to fail to take advantage just sort of shocks me.</p>
<p>Unless maybe the student in question did have some interviews, etc., which didn’t go any further, and so maybe he needs help with interviewing skills and interpersonal skills, etc.?</p>
<p>This can’t happen if the parents don’t enable it. It’s time to start charging him rent and board if he’s not making a reasonable effort to find a job. It’s also time for the parents to ask him what the heck is going on with him and what he’s thinking.</p>
<p>fauxmaven – I do believe that MIT provides support to help their students obtain employment after they graduate. I just don’t think he took advantage of it. He has always been a good student (but not outstanding), but he is otherwise very unmotivated. Since his mother was a high school dropout and never attended college, she hasn’t been a very good role model. She has always played the role of being the victim. You probably get the picture.</p>
<p>He only took his SATs one time, never took any SAT prep courses, did not participate in high school extracurricular activities, never did a high school internship, etc. It’s amazing to me that he was accepted into MIT. We all know from reading posts on CC how hard our children strive to be accepted at top tier colleges.</p>
<p>He wants his mother to buy him a car, but she can’t afford it. She works in a school cafeteria. He’s already made it clear to his mother that he doesn’t want an entry-level type of position working in a lab because it doesn’t pay enough money. What are his options with a BS in biology?</p>
None for him if we won’t seek any. Any position at all is a step up from where he is now. If he doesn’t like his options with a BS in Bio from MIT then why’d he pursue that degree? If he plans to go to grad school then he needs to get moving on it and if he’s planning on a break first then he can get any job to pay his ‘fair share’.</p>
<p>His mother should NOT buy him a car. She should be charging him rent…and set a timeline for his job search…ANY job…not “THE” job. At this point full time job in retail would be a good choice. I heard Macys is hiring thousands of seasonal workers. He needs to be doing something…anything…sitting around is not a choice.</p>
<p>What strikes me is that MIT not only is a hard place to get in, but it’s also a hard place to graduate from. It didn’t strike me as a place where they held your hand or went out of their way to make sure you understood the material. So, even if he wasn’t a motivated student, the fact that he managed to finish was quite an accomplishment. </p>
<p>I think some kind of counseling is in order. Either he expected that people would be falling all over themselves to hire him, and since that didn’t happen he has no clue what to do next, and/or he is depressed, shell-shocked, whatever. It might be a maturity issue as well. In any case, it sounds like he needs some adult guidance: someone to take a good look at him and figure out what the issues are, and help formulate a plan to get him moving.</p>
<p>As an outsider looking in, it can be very difficult to figure out what is really going on. There may be, as others suggested, depression or addiction involved. There may have been a traumatic event that happened. Unless you have spent a long time talking to this young man, you may not have the entire picture.</p>
<p>The fact that he is a URM is irrelevant. There are many young people struggling with issues that many of us can’t understand.</p>
<p>I agree…especially considering what I kept hearing from MIT alums or from HR folks I used to work with who were familiar with the institute. From my own visits to that campus, there was an undercurrent of cutthroat competitiveness in many departments that was such that most would crumble under the pressure. </p>
<p>Moreover, because bio majors tend to be associated with pre-meds…the weeder factor already existing at most bio departments is made worse by many MIT Profs’ tendency to curve more mercilessly than at most schools. </p>
<p>Even at schools that aren’t pre-med factories like my midwest LAC, many bio majors graduates with a GPA in the mid 2.x range and that’s considered par for the course. </p>
<p>He needs to see a therapist to work through his motivation, depression, and maturity issues…especially considering the academic environment at MIT can be psychologically debilitating for many.</p>
<p>Racist? Hardly,but read my post so it fits your agenda…My point is the parents likely,probably,didn’t attend a school like MIT,if they were fortunate to even attend college…they could n’t provide guidance because they didn’t know how…sheez,loosen up Francis</p>
<p>My mom would have told me it was time to start paying rent, under her roof or elsewhere. And that would have necessitated some sort of employment. No way in heck would she have put up with me bumming around without freelancing and earnestly looking for employment the summer after I graduated.</p>
<p>It is a shame that this woman has allowed her son to be so lazy and/or failed to get him help for depression/addiction. </p>
<p>This young man will not change unless the mother does. She needs to develop a back bone and be the mother her son needs (not wants, but needs) her to be.</p>
<p>Sad, but unfortunately “success” is the kid not the college. Perhaps someday this student will wakeup and realize it’s on him to make something of his life…you could substitute any name college in the original post really. It takes more than smarts. Was it the parents, was it the kid thinking he would get handed stuff on a silver platter because of x, y, z…who knows. He could use counseling especially some career counseling if not some personal coaching if he’s open to the suggestion.</p>
<p>I have a friend (Princeton grad) who is in a similar situation. Majored in psychology. Not very good grades. Had an incomplete on his senior thesis, so may in fact not be quite graduated yet. Volunteered at a vet one summer, and made some PR films another summer. He seems to be at loose ends, and just doesn’t know what to do. Parents are alternately wringing their hands, making threats and letting him mooch off them. He’s had lots of counseling, but mostly he just seems scared to take the next step.</p>
<p>I think MIT can be an intimidating place, especially if you don’t really fit into the culture. The poor kid probably really doesn’t know what his options are if he doesn’t want to go to grad school and doesn’t have summer work experience. He should work with MIT’s career services which generally will work with recent graduates. And of course his mother should lay down the law.</p>