I’m a graduating senior going off to a 4 year next year, and I feel that I never really found myself in high school. I entered high as a naive 9th grader and I’m leaving it as a disgruntled, hopeless senior. I’m not dumb, but I know that I didn’t live up to my full potential in high school.
No one ever really took me seriously. I never got bullied (or atleast physically), but my “friends” gave me nicknames that I didn’t want, never hung out with me outside of school, and, like i said, take me as a joke most of the time… I hated high school so much that at the end of junior year I decided to enroll in a dual enrollment program the following senior year. I’ve been at a local community college for this past year, and I’m sorry to say that “I still haven’t learn my lesson”. I haven’t made too many friends… all I have are too many acquaintances I don’t meet after class ends. On a more positive note, I do believe I’ve made some academic strides as I’ve maintained a 3.9 GPA at the community college and am currently doing well in a notoriously rigorous physics class at our community college. I am also an econ tutor and have made a few “acquaintances” (I wouldnt say friends) with the other tutors through that experience. Whenever I see them or my other classmates, I say hi and ask them how their week is going, but we never really eat lunch together or do anything past the 30-second conversation. TBH, I wouldnt know what to talk to them about over lunch becuase I think I have ADD or something. I catch myself talking to myself a lot in public while walking around campus, although I don’t think it’s serious as to where a stranger can label me disabled just by looking at me. To be honest, I don’t really see why I have to interact with kids… I think so many kids are immature… I enjoy having conversations with my teachers much more (although none of my conversation with my teachers bring the humor and liveliness the other charisma-infested, popular students bring"). The only one or two “real” friends I’ve made in community college are in my dual enrollment program and are both fairly nice.
I’m quite intimidated to go to a 4 year, as the school I’m going to is a fairly large UC. I feel like college wont be right for me… and I wish I stayed at community college for another year because I honestly don’t know if I can make friends college. I already committed and my parents really want me to go off to a 4 year rather than stay at community college, so I’m kinda set on going to the school I already SIR’ed to.
Anyway, there’s a lot in this post, and I’m just seeking for help… advice. Does anyone have any tips on how I can survive at a 4 year university. I think I’m pretty smart and ask a lot of questions, but I’m not sure I will be able to live up to that if I’m always lonely at a my future school.
maybe just a bit to add:
the reason I felt like posting here is because I am going back to my high school this week for graduation (which I REALLY didnt want to go to, but was forced to by my parents). I have one or two close friends from hs that I still hang out with and have a bad relationship with some of the teachers and administration… I don’t really want to see any of that again.
i feel that in the long term, having more acquaintances is generally more useful than having a few friends. at my school, with everyone being super competitive, either your friends won’t genuinely help you or they just won’t know what to do, but the more people you KNOW rather than are friends with, the more likely you are to get what you need. Example: i asked my best friend since 7th grade (it been 5-6 years) if the teacher was checking homework in the class because i hadn’t done it and i wanted to know if i should do it at lunch or not. she had the class 1st period and it was 4th. i had the class 6th period. she was like “oh, i forgot” and i didn’t really believe her because unless you have short term memory loss, you do not forgot if the teacher checked homework 3 hours after you had the class. i asked this one girl i never really knew that well (talked to her once, maybe twice) and she was really helpful - she told me that he checked homework and what homework he checked. so in the end, high school friends are just gonna screw you over. jk some might be actually good friends. but as for me, i get how you’re feeling and maybe it’s for the best. sometimes its better to not get attached because many people that you meet in life won’t stop to consider your feelings when they hurt you for their own selfish reasons. sorry im being really cynical but in my experience thats just how it goes. hope this helped! 
Having a few close friends who really care about you is better than having a huge number of shallow friendship.
If you decide to go for the 4 year college, do it with a good optimistic forward-thinking attitude. You will have more people on campus, so the chances of making friends are better. There are things YOU can change and there are things you can’t. So focus on the things you can change and change them.
If you decide not to go for the 4 year college, it’s not the end of the world. But you don’t want to spend the rest of your life being bitter about the situation you are in, right? You gotta do something to get out of the current environment or thinking.
If you suspect ADD or other mental issue, don’t self-diagnose. Get a proper diagnosis from professionals and discuss the future course.
Personally, I think you will do fine at a 4 year college. There will be more mature people on campus than the high school. I wish you good luck!
Have you read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking?
- Don't idealize the "charisma-infested and popular" students. The plus to being very extroverted is that you can engage people in conversations with ease, make them laugh, entertain them, etc. But the people that try to have 20, 30, or more people in their social circles can't possibly devote enough time to each of them. So many popular people don't have that many true "friends" either, just many acquaintances that they can have a non-awkward conversation with whenever their paths happen to cross.
- It's not bad to have many acquaintances. If you're an introvert, just having the occasional meal with a group of people, or studying together for a few hours, is enough social time to relax and recharge at the end of a busy day. Another benefit to having many acquaintances: One word you'll hear a lot in college is "networking" (http://ischool.sjsu.edu/career-development/networking/what-networking). More acquaintances = bigger network.
- It's not bad to have only a small number of really good friends; that's also enough. The smaller your group is, the stronger your bonds.
So going into college, you have two options. You can either work towards being popular. You would have to put yourself in many social situations, observe how “charismatic” people talk and act, build social skills and self-confidence, and then get a large group of acquaintances, and be content with that. Alternatively, you can work on building a few deep and meaningful relationships with 1-3 people beyond your acquaintance group, and be content with that.
But don’t worry. You will survive college. IDK what the social atmosphere is like there, but you have many factors working to your advantage. The campus is large, you have people from all different ages and walks of life that you might be able to connect to, you live with your peers instead of just seeing them during class hours, there are plenty of social events for students on- and off-campus, and professors love inquisitive students who make the effort to get to know them.
As for high school graduation, just suck it up for the few hours for your parents, if not for yourself.
alright, thanks guys. I hope things turn out better for me. I’m thinking of maybe getting a summer job or something to help me with more interactions.
Do I think there is anything wrong with you? Absolutely not. You’re a high school senior (recent graduate?) and you have far more time ahead to find yourself and what is meaningful to you. A lot of people don’t use high school as a way to live up to their full potential, and that is a learning experience within itself.
As for making friends, the two friends that you have made in the community college is certainly adequate - as long as they are honest and true to you. Honestly, that’s all you need. But don’t fear, as you go to college, you are going to find more people with similar interests as yours because it is filled with way more people than a high school or community college.
Congratulations on your excellent GPA, by the way! That is impressive. In a sense, you have lived up to your potential. The social realm is a learning experience that is never ending.
I’m presenting my valedictorian speech in a few days, and I have a lesson in it that talks about living in the moment. Don’t worry about what is to come next - college, the work force, etc. Recognize what you truly have now, and appreciate it while it is still around. Get out there and don’t be nervous to talk to people. You won’t regret it!
Good luck in everything that you have coming ahead. You are going to do greatly. If you need anything, please feel free to message me.
Take care! 
You are completely normal. Having 500 close friends is abnormal. Having 1-2 good friends is best as you can actually enjoy their company without rushing to entertain someone else. Treasure the bonds you have, but don’t be afraid of opportunity, as even if it fails, it is OK. For example, if you see someone you know slightly, you could call out to them. They may ignore you, but it doesn’t hurt (unless you make it). Instead, some will turn out friendly and you may end up friends (or as you put, acquaintances… close?). Also, make sure to be confident. It would benefit you in your pursuit. Try chatting up someone. They ignore you? Their loss. They could’ve been friends with the awesomest person ever (yourself of course). Perhaps not THAT confident, but you are not abnormal and make sure you know that, If you were, you are exceptional (I obviously don’t know you, but even if you were strange in a way, if you have this level of confidence, any trouble is no trouble).
Good luck! College is a key development stage and may be the bridge toward your increasingly social behavior, in addition to being an avenue to education. If you will hard enough, anything is possible. Make it happen! Even if you trip, stand up and run!