When a classmate dies

<p>A highschool friend of our son's was killed in an auto accident this weekend. Our hearts are aching for his parents and family.</p>

<p>Son was not super close to the young man, but they enjoyed each other and had many common friends. He is too far away to attend the funeral.</p>

<p>I mentioned that I thought the friend's parents would very much appreciate a note from our son. He agrees. I'd like to give him some guidance on this, as he has not written such a note before, and this will be tough.</p>

<p>I know how I write condolence notes. Unfortunately, I've had lots of practice. But my approach would not be right for him, I'm sure.</p>

<p>What advice would you give?</p>

<p>I would have him write from his heart. Including descriptions of specific memories with the person is something which could be very appreciated.</p>

<p>I agree, if your S tells them a story about their son that reveals why your son liked this boy, that would be an invaluable comfort.</p>

<p>I'd suggest a note with a story that the parents don't know--one with a bit of humour, one that illustrates the wonderful character of their son. They will treasure those stories.</p>

<p>I agree with spideygirl....write from his heart and with a specific memory or 2 of their son having fun, also if your son has a memory of a time when his friend said something nice about his parents(something they did or how well they reared him...along those lines) and siblings would be nice too.</p>

<p>Agree. The best stories are heroic or funny. "I remember when ____ rescued me from the most ridiculous.... It showed me how much.... always with a smile... "</p>

<p>Unfortunately my DD has had to do this too many times. But these funny little stories that show something the parents might not have known about but capture the essence of the student are valued tremendously.</p>

<p>It's all just so sad.......my empathy is in overdrive. I don't know the family well. When our boys were younger they played on some teams together; they played at each other's houses. So we had that kind of acquaintanceship. I can't imagine the heartbreak.</p>

<p>also, if your son has any pictures of this yong man and friends, send them copies with a brief description on the back</p>

<p>that can mean the world</p>