When Do Incoming Freshmen . . .

Colleges and Universities A-Z Fordham University
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<p>collegebound91: I hear you. I am not suggesting Fordham is without fault. But it is what it is. But trust me when I say that lots of colleges have their own version of nightmare scenarios. I can recite them chapter and verse for you from the anecdotes I have heard. No place is perfect. However, if you let yourself get all worked up about it, that wont be helpful to you. And you really need to be enjoying the last few weeks of freedom. Take long walks with mom and dad and vent that way. Go out for ice cream with your buddies. Because in three short weeks the madness of college life begins and while orientation is well organized, classes come at you like a freight train…and homework will be upon you…etc etc. </p>

<p>I know you are anxious. I acknowledge your feelings. Its normal. But it does all work out. And in three weeks this minor irritation will be behind you and you will be swimming with activities, new friends, new experiences, cafeteria food, dorm life, dorm drama etc. Keep your chin up. You are going to have so much fun…and have so much to do very soon…</p>

<p>There are facebook groups for Fordham incoming freshmen…you can vent there if you want…but remember to keep calm and not get all worked up about it. </p>

<p>See you soon!</p>

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<p>all i will say is get used to this. reslife is horrible. if i’m ever asked to do anything for this school, will most likely say no just because of reslife.</p>

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<p>My son was a freshman at RH last year and we had the same issue with not getting a roommate until mid-August. It is not an ideal situation by any stretch (and people should feel free to voice concens to ResLife), but things did work out in the end. My S and I did most of his shopping for college before he got his roommate (linens, clothes, school supplies will be the same) - there are only a few things that really need to be worked out between roommates such as the fridge, TV and maybe a rug and that was done very quickly. The good news is that move-in day (at least at RH) was a total pleasure so it sounds like you just have to make it through this week and you’re set.</p>

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<p>Don’t get me wrong. I am not defending the process, or ResLife, or StudentAccts or really anyone in Enrollment Group. There are enough “issues” to fill a library. I am only saying that Fordham is not alone in this regard…that issues happen at every college, big or small.</p>

<p>We were also filled with anxiety, apprehension, frustration and irritation at the process 3 years ago…but were pleasantly surprised on move in day how smooth things went, how well organized they were, how busy the kids were for 3 days of orientation and fun and that classes started up immediately. We live in a state with a top 10 flagship state school. The stories I hear coming out of this so called bastion of higher education are horrendous. I mean stories like kids showing up and the dorm is already full and having to find a room at 6pm on move in day…crying…parents furious etc. Then they have nothing to do for a week or more and so party like animal house. It happens. </p>

<p>My point was simply trying to help incoming freshmen and parents with coping and telling them that it will all work out if they are patient. May you all enjoy the rest of the summer and may your coming school year be wonderful!</p>

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<p>BPGuy- Something to look forward to. :(</p>

<p>dlcor1026- Do RH kids get to request their roommates, or are they randomly assigned? I think us LC kids are probably freaking out the most since, like another poster said, we got to request our own roommates which I feel most people did. But now there’s the possibility that we won’t get the people we request because of our seminars (which is ridiculous), so it has everyone on edge.</p>

<p>Also, at LC we also have suitemates, up to 2-4, so we have to work out things with them as well, such as who will bring the TV (only 1 per apartment), bathroom things, etc. </p>

<p>I just wish they did this differently. I mean my friends going to huge schools like PSU or UDel already know their placements. It’s hard to understand why 300 kids don’t even have their placement yet.</p>

<p>But I’m still looking forward to move-in…</p>

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<p>I am not defending Fordham - my S lived through the same frustration last year. My S was randomly assigned with a roomate. He did meet people at RH who knew each other from HS and chose to room together so I guess that is a possibility, although I’m not sure of the process. I can’t speak to LC at all.
Things have to be worked out between roommates at both RH and suitemates at LC (where more suitmates have to coordinate). My only comment was that you don’t need to wait until you get a room assignment to pick up stuff that you will need personally (sheets, towels, any new clothes). I know you are frustrated, but it sounds like it will be sorted out soon. Just get what you can now and try not to let it damper this exciting time in you life!</p>

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<p>collegebound91: you hit the nail on the head. Kids at LC thought they would honor roommate requests so planned all summer accordingly. D and her anticipated roommate have been awaiting finding out their suitemates to coordinate TV, microwave, etc. Now D finds out that anticipated roommate may not even be her roommate! It is anxiety producing.</p>

<p>And ghostbuster–kids at LC pick their own schedules, they have already done so. My point was that if they had known the seminar would be crucial to getting their roommate of choice, perhaps they could have answered the survey such that they would have the choice of getting into the same seminar. Its too late now to do anything about that since the seminars were assigned based on their survey responses. D’s anticipated roommate is in the honors program, so she didn’t even have to fill out the survey. THat would have been nice to know earlier so D could have maybe worked with another girl in answering the survey to have a chance of being put with someone she chose.</p>

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<p>what kind of survey is it for placement in a seminar? is it about likes and dislikes, interests, time schedules, career plans?</p>

<p>I am going to ask this from the other side, would you want your child to manipulate certain answes so they could be with a friend? Maybe fordham is trying to mold the seminars so there is a balance there and not just people who know each other hanging out. </p>

<p>My daughter’s high school did senior retreats and they actually did their best to make sure friends where NOT together, at least in the small discussion groups. If buddies were together, it created a different dynamic and much of the purpose of the discussions, etc would be lost.</p>

<p>I am not saying that waiting this long is easy or confidence boosting, but often with Jesuit institutions there is a method to the madness.</p>

<p>When my D was helping lead their restreat, a huge part of the job was setting up the discussion groups. They took it very seriously, so that each group was well mixed. It made for a much more intersting experience, then if you had all the jocks together, or all the kids from one area.</p>

<p>And you could tell if certain kids had tried to fill out the forms so they could be on the same retreat, ie bf/gf, bff, etc. It wasn’t punishment or some evil plot to not put them together, it was just a way to ensure that the groups would be balanced and enlightening.</p>

<p>When my daughter did orientation at Fordham, when they got the kids together in the small groups to talk to the older kids, non of the freshman in the group were in the same dorm, or very few at least, it gave them a chance to meet even more kids. </p>

<p>While we too are still waiting for our assignments for the rose hill campus, and my daughter is equally as irritated, and I did call to say, comeon people at least give us a better idea of the date we will know instead of “next week”, I do think Fordham takes this very seriously, and once you know, all the little things you are waiting to figure out, fridges, color schemes, whatever will work themselve out.</p>

<p>And I do think fordham does their best to put kids together who ask to be, they don’t promise for probably a number of reasons.</p>

<p>I remember reading last year that a girl was asked by a friend to be her roommate, but the girl really didn’t want to, so she didn’t make the roommate request herself, while the other girl did. THe first girl didn’t know how to tell the friend she didn’t want to room with her, so decided to make it the schools fault. The second girl thought the first also asked to be roommates, so was disapoointed it didn’t happen, but never knew the first girl had backed out. Not right, sure, but not the schools fault.</p>

<p>I can’t pretend to understand all the dynamics of this process, and I too am waiting for the mail with daughter every day, I just know that once the information comes, somehow everything works itself out. </p>

<p>Letting go of the process is a good thing too. We have been taking at least one day a week and making it NO COLLEGE planning day. It helps!</p>

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<p>jptmom- LC kids have gotten our assignments today. How did your daughter fare? It looks like a lot of people have gotten screwed over by the seminar placements.</p>

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<p>D did get her housing assignments today–the good news is, she DID get the roommate she wanted, even without the roommate being in a seminar! The bad news is that they got assigned a triple, even though they did not request one, and I thought they requested that they did not want one! Oh well, at least she is with the one she wanted, so that is good. For anyone in the know, is it true that the triples are larger rooms? When we visited in April, we saw a triple and the bad part was that there were only two closets in the room, the other person had to use the closet in the living area that I thought was intended to be for like winter coats and stuff, and there were only two dressers in the room, the third one was put in the living area as well. Is this common? Is it possible that when more rooms are available, the third girl may move out?</p>

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<p>I think most of us were tripled, and I don’t think that many rooms will be de-tripled. I actually requested a triple, and two specific roommates whom I’ve been keeping in close contact with for months (as in we talk every day), yet I did not receive either of them. I was placed into one of my last choice seminars, but that was still used to place me in a room with two girls I haven’t spoken to. </p>

<p>I’m not in a very happy place right now, to be honest.</p>

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<p>Well…first of all…your roomie is not going to be your bff…trust me on that. And rooming with “friends” is often a bad idea. There are countless examples of how that blows up. You will make friends down the hall, people you dont have to live with, and in class. This is all very predictable. It happens every year. So just relax and stop obsessing about it and who you will be with. You are going to be SOOOOO busy in very short order, it sort of doesnt matter anyway.</p>

<p>Most of your anxiety is typical freshmen stuff and by November you will laugh at yourself. </p>

<p>Another way to look at it? You are meeting new people and making new friends. Rejoice in that. You aren’t locked “in the 70’s” so to speak, meaning…you aren’t going to be that same high school kid anymore. You have moved on. </p>

<p>Its all fine. BTW, from what I hear, 90% of the kids who have dorms at FCLC are from out of state, as most of the kids from NYC or NewJersey etc at FCLC commute. Diversity is a good thing.</p>

<p>And your friends from facebook? They are still your friends! Down the hall or on another floor. My kid’s BEST friends at Fordham are people that have NOT been roomies. Fact.</p>

<p>Keep a positive outlook. Keep your chin up and be ready to come to Fordham with a positive outlook!</p>

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<p>ghostbuster–you are off base here. (were you mycousin in a previous life?) College bound, just like my D, got to know people over the summer who she felt comfortable with and was planning on living with. collegebound also didn’t get the seminar she wanted, which they used to make the placements, thus a double disappointment. To say relax and stop obsessing, is, in my opinion, disrespectful to her and is putting down her very real and very understandable feelings. Obviously she is disappointed, that is to be expected; yes, it may work out, and yes, she’ll make other friends, but when you are leaving home to go to a new environment, and you thought you had some comfort in planning on who you were living with, and you find out your plans were awry, when the school did let them think they could request people and the requests would be honored is disappointing.</p>

<p>Plus, your “90% of the students at FCLC are from out of state” is not quite accurate, just as your statement that most of the kids from NYC or NJ commute is also false. Many of the students at FCLC are from the tri-state area, as in NY, NJ and Connecticut, and many of them are not commuting, even though they live within a half hour to an hour to the school. True, FCLC gives preference in housing to students who live afar, but if you look on the FCLC facebook page, it clearly shows that many many of the students going there and living on campus (or even off-campus but not commuting) are from NJ, CT, and parts of New York that are other boroughs.</p>

<p>Collegebound is understandably disappointed, and probably more stressed than she needs to be because move-in is about ten days away, and she has just found out the identity of her roommates and suite-mates, which doesn’t give her a heck of a lot of time to try to get to know these strangers and coordinate stuff for their room and suite.</p>

<p>And, yes, when we went to college in the dark ages, most of us had to rely on a few letters exchanged and maybe a phone call or two, since we didn’t have texting, IMing, facebook, or the like, and most of us pretty much went into our housing assignments blind, but at least we weren’t expecting to be roomed with people we had requested and found out at the last minute it was different.</p>

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<p>I don’t think I’ll be laughing even after I graduate. Even if it turns out I love my new roommates, I still don’t agree with the way they’re placing us. It’s upset a lot of people, and no one wants to go into their freshmen year of college that way. Also, using the seminars for placement is just fundamentally unsound. It’s a system that needs changing.</p>

<p>Jptmom- Thanks for being so understanding! And yeah, I am upset. I’m hoping I get over it quickly though, I don’t want to creat awkwardness between my new roommates and I. But I’ll still miss not having the opportunity to room with the girls I had originally planned. :(</p>

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<p>Two years ago my daughter facebooked with her roommate a few times before move in day. She survived. How did we all manage eons ago when we met our roommate on move in day.</p>

<p>yes, the system is flawed. many schools have something that doesn’t work perfectly.</p>

<p>I am not defending fordham, but as a mom, I don’t think we are helping our kids when we feed into the nervousness.</p>

<p>My daughter asked for a specific roommate. If she gets her woohoo, if not, she will be just fine. And something to 9remember, someone you meet on facebook can be very differnt in person, and someone who has been a friend can be a very different person to live with.</p>

<p>Yes, its fine to be pizzed, but you can’t let a few setbacks dampen the whole college start experience. You will get a bad professor, you will have a class that is just zzz, but mostly you will have one heck of good time.</p>

<p>My friends daughter, going to a large public, didn’t get a dorm, and had three apartment plans fall through. As of a week ago she didn’t have a place to live. She went through a lot of ups and downs, with thinking she was going to live with this girl, or that one. You sometimes just have to go with the flow.</p>

<p>I for one am pretty neurotic. I like things all planned out. However, I have learned that me getting all wound up in the drama to. Its okay to send an email saying that the system might need some tweaking, but I have learned I don’t help my daughters deal if I play into the nervousness.</p>

<p>Our kids are moer resilient then we give them credit for. Yes, it would be great to have a person you know as a roommate, but seems to me that lots of people didn’t get what they wanted, not that that is a good thing, but at least you won’t be alone.</p>

<p>Yes its okay to be disappointed, but time to move past it and talk to your new roomies!!! </p>

<p>I went out to dinner last night and got to know a woman pretty well after an hour of converstation. These kids, beleive me, will be able to “get to know” someone pretty quick if they want to.</p>

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<p>^ But you defending them. Not that it’s a bad thing, but you might as well come out and say it.</p>

<p>And I don’t think jptmom is “feeding the nervousness”. She’s just agreeing that the way this was handled wasn’t exactly fair to a lot of students. And survival wasn’t my goal where rooming was concerned, but now it’s turned into one. It didn’t have to be that way, but they made it that way. I know it’s not necessary to be buddy-buddy with your roommates, but it would have been nicer to start off the year with people with whom I’d already established a relationship.</p>

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<p>collegebound91: “I know it’s not necessary to be buddy-buddy with your roommates, but it would have been nicer to start off the year with people with whom I’d already established a relationship.”</p>

<p>Exactly the point!</p>

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<p>you might find that those friends you don’t room with actually turn out to be your better or best friends during college. i had a roommate. we got along good, but after going our own separate ways as far as dorming, we’ve become really great friends. just because you didn’t get to room with a person you had established a relationship with yet, don’t worry. that may be a blessing in disguise because if you don’t get along great with your roommate, you have someone else to maybe hang out with at least. that’s at least the kind of mentality you should go in with. there’s a reason they say rooming with a best friend isn’t always the best idea.</p>

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<p>I agree it was not right how Fordham handled it. Yes you will have to adapt. Yes you will have to make some more new friends. Yes you will have to contact your new roommates and make plans. Yes you will have to adjust your dreams and hopes. </p>

<p>Are you going to allow this set back to taint your whole college experience? Are you going to let the fact that you are now going to have a wider cirlce of people in your circle- your “old friends” and your new roommates.</p>

<p>It sucks. I get that. But you can either move forward, and count your blessings, or stay irked and let that show in your dealings with your new roommates who may very likely be in the same boat.</p>

<p>Yes it would have been ideal for you to be able to stick with the original plan, but life is messy, and schools are iimperfect and administration have bad systems, but if go in with the attitude that you are now in survival mode, others will see that you don’t want to be around or with them.</p>

<p>Right now, you have every right to be mad, but you can’t let that feed into how you are going to deal with your new roommates. Would you want to be around someone who thinks rooming with them is something they need to survive?</p>

<p>Look at it this way, you still have those people you have been in contact with to see at meals, hang out in their dorm, throw a frisbee with, have late night talks, they aren’t gone, they are just on a different floor or down the hall.</p>

<p>Yes, Fordham seems to have done a terrible job. But what you do with the lemons, well that is up to you.</p>

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<p>collegebound- the things that need to be coordinated are easily resolved</p>

<p>kitchen supplies, tv, bathroom supplies</p>

<p>a flurry of facebook messages can get all that organized pretty quickly and if something falls through the cracks, that’s the time to scramble, order something, go to target</p>

<p>It will work out, I promise. College is the time to learn how to figure things out, how to deal with set backs, how to rely on yourself and see how strong and powerful and resilient you really are. </p>

<p>Your friends will still be there, you will get to hang out in their room, and they in yours. You will trak each other down and have adventures. You will have a new roommate or two who you will either really like, or just be chill with. </p>

<p>I am not saying I don’t understand your disappointment, I do, I have two college girls myself. However, you need to remember that you are very lucky in a lot of ways, and that life will throw you curve balls from now on. And you just have to make the best of it. I know kids who had to live in hotel rooms their first semester in college. </p>

<p>So, just start making those connections, contact your new roommates, take charge of what needs to get done, realize anything that is forgotten or missed can be remidied in a couple of days. So you don’t have a tv right away, or missing a frying pan, good excuse to go borrow one!! No toliet bowl scrubber, walgreens!! Bedroom colors don’t match, eh, just laugh it off.</p>

<p>It will be fine. It will be fun. It will be an adventure. It will be quite the ride and enjoy its ups and downs!!</p>