<p>My guess is that she had a few to drink before seeing you, and that the “friendly banter” was the alcohol talking more than her real words. </p>
<p>It is much harder to party and get away with drinking and doing all of those “crazy” things in high school. Once you’re away at college there is a new found freedom to explore, and she is exploring and enjoying it. Some people change a lot; some people change a little; and some people don’t change at all. None of those scenarios are particularly good or bad in themselves. She will likely mature into the same girl you knew; or maybe she won’t. Either way, it doesn’t sound like you two are really friends anymore, at least not close ones, so you really don’t know her at all outside of the party setting in which you recently saw her (and through rumors which may or may not be true). You might be saddened by what you saw and hear, but you have to decide whether to accept her as she is or move on.</p>
<p>I feel you. My own experience was kind of the opposite of yours, but it still stings a bit.</p>
<p>I grew up with this girl. We were like brother and sister, did the whole k-12 education together. Then we parted ways, because of differing majors and colleges and all of that.
I didn’t realize that somewhere along the way she got really religious. I like religion, I consider myself religious too, and we often discussed it. But then, she started getting angry at me for having a beer, she started considering pre-marital sex as ‘going crazy’ etc. I thought nothing of it, I blamed it on her being a girl.
Then a few months ago I was accepted to an American college, which means I am leaving my country, and I have been hearing unceasingly about how degenerated and crazy stupid Americans are, how she doesn’t trust people of color, how she thinks gays should be killed, how she believes that political figures should have carte blanche to do anything to people… She is getting more and more paranoid everyday, and even though I can still see the girl I grew up with, I don’t think I like the adult she has become.</p>
<p>So yeah, I do think your friend has changed, and that short story can’t describe the small stuff you’ve been noticing for some time. Maybe it’s time for you to look forward and find other friends.</p>
<p>The same thing happened to me. I’m fine with other girls going crazy, drinking every night, and being slutty, but when my best friend started acting that way, it hurt for some reason. She was always someone who I thought accepted my somewhat traditional morals, and all of that changed. Now she complains that I have no fun, when really my fun is just a different version than hers. Not all friends are meant to last forever because people do change and, yes, it’s super sad in my opinion.</p>
<p>yeah OP I sympathize with you. College is a time to have fun, a time to let out and drink some, have fun, and perhaps “get some”, but that’s a longshot from acting like a slut and thinking less of people because they don’t hook up/get drunk as often as you do. I don’t condone what your friend is doing with the pretext that “it’s college” cause really it’s a far cry from what’s normal and what should be normal.</p>
<p>Everyone grows up after college, but it’s kind of hard imagine that your friend can be much more mature in the future (in a marriage?). but it happens a lot, especially in girls cause they’re more perceptive to what other people think and conform to the majority. </p>
<p>I don’t consider myself a prude but i just wish people had some more self respect. divorce rates are high as hell in this country and i can’t help but think it’s cause of the ultra permissive spirit in college and everywhere.</p>
<p>I don’t think divorce rates have anything to do with the college experience. Many people marry too young, don’t have enough experiences to know what different types of relationships are like, don’t know what they really want, don’t focus on their selves and their careers before settling down, etc.</p>
<p>^Marrying young isn’t exactly the problem. People have been marrying young for centuries. This whole idea of getting settled in a career and then getting married is quite new.</p>
<p>Also, I read somewhere that couples who live together before getting married have higher divorce rates. Don’t know if that’s true, but if it is, that kind of puts a damper on the whole “We should live together to see if we can live together as a married couple.”</p>
<p>It’s so sad when your friends change in a direction that isn’t exactly positive. I understand that people do change, but when one of my friends goes from being basically Ms. Perfect Christian Straight A girl to Showing Up To Class Drunk or High And Being Happy With C’s, then it makes me want to cry. But you can’t live people’s lives for them. You can accept them for who they have become and who they have become and either choose to move on or try to keep that friendship.</p>
<p>I can’t help but laugh when people say “it’s a far cry from what should be normal” (not trying to pick on you CrazyPluto though). What is considered “normal” by society’s standards doesn’t necessarily mean it fits what is normal to you, me, or anyone for that matter. People have different opinions about what is normal, and what isn’t, and as long as they do what makes them happy without hurting others, people shouldn’t judge so much. Often, we judge and criticize others because they act in a way that doesn’t fit our own social values, but who is to say that their social values are more wrong than ours? I really attempt to be tolerant of other people’s behaviors because while it may not work for me, it may work for them.</p>
<p>I have had similar issues with people from high school. It’s not really a problem, just people changing and growing apart. It can still really bum me out though. College really hasn’t changed the way I act that much. I kind of decided going in that I just wanted to enjoy myself but while still not getting pressured into stuff. I don’t have a problem with it, but I think others go into it wanting to change and try a lot of different things. </p>
<p>To quote Abed Nadir, “…Everyone else is growing and changing all the time and that’s not really my jam. I’m more of a fast-blinking, stoic, removed, uncomfortably self-aware type.”</p>
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