<p>Okay, I know people change, but have you had that experience where you have a friend who has changed so much that it almost disturbed you?</p>
<p>This is a much longer story, but here is a condensed version:</p>
<p>I have/had this friend from high school, she's a year younger than me. When I knew her in high school she was kind, smart, and was an all around good girl. I had huge feelings for her for a while, but since I went to college before her I had to get over them. </p>
<p>Fast forward to this year.. she is friends with my cousins friends. I had heard rumors about her having sex and sleeping with random guys at her school. I didn't want to believe them because she never seemed like that kind of person.</p>
<p>Well this past week there was a large fest at my school, and this girl and some of our friends came to my school and went to this fest. These things aren't really my favorite, but my cousin encouraged me to come along. </p>
<p>Anyways, we were in the huge moshpit and before I knew it, the girl was making out with some random guy that started dancing on her. To me, it kind of disgusted me. I had noticed that she seemed strange in the way she was acting, but this sort of confirmed my worries. </p>
<p>Later that day, I mentioned how I didn't like beer, and she goes "WHAT?! You DON'T like beer? REAL MEN drink beer"...and that made be realize that she was a completely different person than the girl I knew in high school. Other things happened, but these really stood out. </p>
<p>It is kind of sad how friends like that can change so much. I found it slightly disturbing. Anyone else with similar experiences?</p>
<p>if it wasn’t a metal concert, it wasn’t a moshpit :p</p>
<p>Anyway yes I’ve had experiences like that. Have a friend who, when I met him, was a lot like me. Geeky, preferred playing video games with friends instead of going to parties. Now he’s really into partying and does some pretty hardcore stuff. Deep down he’s still kind of the same guy which is why we still hang out now and then when he’s in town, but he really did change a lot. I lamented it at first but now I’ve accepted it… some folks just change and there ain’t much you can do about it.</p>
<p>What’s wrong with making out with a guy and having a drink?? It doesn’t sound bad to me, and that comes from someone who rarely drinks or makes out with strangers.</p>
<p>You sound like a prude OP. Having a drink and making does not make them a bad person. Don’t worry, she’s still the same person she always was.</p>
<p>Also, seconded the comment about mosh pits. I hate those girls at Paramore shows who run around in a circle holding hands thinking they’re moshing. Just no.</p>
<p>But I do hate when people actually change. I also knew a girl who I liked but she kind of went crazy. All kinds of tattoos, pearcings, and she turned into someone who just doesn’t care about herself or has any goals. It was pretty sad. I got over her.</p>
<p>I understand how she might seem slutty from your perspective. But don’t be so uptight about it. It’s college, people get stupid, and then when school’s out, they’re forced to grow up.</p>
<p>That is weird though. I barely keep in touch with my high school friends, and I haven’t seen one that’s changed much. Although, I’ve heard of a friend of mine who went on to play CB for a low ranking D-I school. Last news I heard of him was that he was talking about nailing a 16 year old. I used to see him in church with his brother on Sundays. I guess being prom king and being the only fb recruit in our class spun his head loose. Crazy world huh?</p>
<p>lol I know a guy who was apparently very much one of the Christ kids in high school. then he joined a frat and now he drinks often and likes to combine it with things like percocets.</p>
<p>I mean, I don’t have a issue with drinking and stuff. I drink myself as long as it’s not beer, because I just can’t stand it. The way she randomly snapped at me telling me that i’m not someone I should be just because I don’t like a certain alcoholic beverage was something that she would not have done before. </p>
<p>And as I said, this was a hugely condensed story. I’m not in to rowdy partying (we were having beer and other stuff thrown in our faces the entire time), so maybe this was the “new experience”, but she was different even when we were all hanging out. </p>
<p>When i’m with friends, I don’t have issues breaking out of my shell and being who I am generally. I admit I am a goofy person. I enjoy laughing and not taking myself too seriously. She knows I am like that, so do all of my friends, otherwise they wouldn’t be my friends. But at one point she started telling me off just for acting the way I always do (it’s not like I was physically doing anything inappropriate), so that made me realize that now is overly worried about what others think, despite the fact that there were only friends around. </p>
<p>idk, maybe the situation is something that only I understand. </p>
<p>And yes i know people change. I got over it, but I still think it’s slightly sad</p>
<p>It seems to me like you haven’t changed much since you left for school, and thus, you expect others to not change. If you truly did want to stay friends with her, you’d accept her for who she is, whether that agrees with how you think things should be or not. It also seems to me like you’re more conservative socially, and that may have something to do with it.</p>
<p>Bottom line is, she’s not acting any different than 99.9% of other college students.</p>
<p>Yeah. I had a really good friend in high school who went to college and just went crazy.</p>
<p>She does drugs, drinks, and parties a lot now. She cares way less about her grades and now pines over maybe the not-so-right guys.</p>
<p>I’m really disappointed, but I’m still there for her and try not to judge. I totally do not condone her new lifestyle and think she needs a better set of friends in college, but I’m not going to sit there and tell her that she’s ruining her life. It isn’t my place. Instead, I’m just going to be there for her in support and accept the fact that while she is still the person I know and love, she has changed somewhat. We all change. It’s just a fact of life.</p>
<p>“seems to me like you’re more conservative socially, and that may have something to do with it.”</p>
<p>That could definitely be part of it. I wouldn’t say I haven’t changed at all. I’ve learned a lot about who I am, what kind of person I want to be, what my career goals are. I’ve figured a lot of stuff out about myself. But I guess my morals and such haven’t changed all that much, and as you said, I’m a bit conservative socially.</p>
<p>A good friend told me that “college is a time to do stupid **** and not judge”. Really, it’s the only time she can do crazy stuff like that and not feel terrible about herself because of the old excuse, “It’s college”. Honestly, I’m kind of like her, but I would never say my underlying values or morals have really changed. I’m just more open to go a little crazy haha.</p>