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Because it is patronizing and disrespectful to assume that a high school senior who is enrolled in AP courses and has 3.7+ GPA doesn’t know that a 4-year college is an option and hasn’t considered it.</p>
<p>calmom is exactly right about this. The existence of 4-year-colleges or dormitory life is not exactly a secret.</p>
<p>Giving unwanted advice is almost never a good idea. Lots of people on these forums looking for advice if you want to share your accumulated wisdom.</p>
<p>I did two years at a CC, spread over three because of a 20 hr./week engineering work-study program, and look how I turned out.</p>
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Hopelessly addicted to an online forum years after your daughter went off to college, with no end in sight after 5300+ posts? 
(Not that I’m all that many posts behind you…)</p>
<p>not that there’s anything wrong with that</p>
<p>Often people don’t even take advice after having asked for it, so what are the chances for unsolicited advice?</p>
<p>CalMom: exactly!!! :)</p>
<p>If the Mom was a friend of mine, and she bought the subject up to me - which is how I interpreted the OP - I might have said to the Mom “How do ya’ll (parents) feel about that?”. Then depending on how my friend responded, I might tentatively offer my opinion, or very briefly discuss what we are doing. </p>
<p>I grew up in an area much like what the OP describes. I was the 3rd or 4th person in my extended family to go to college, and the first to not go the CC route. I was the first whose parents could afford for me to have a choice. We’ve had a couple more since me (my extended family is rather small), they have all done the CC thing, until my D, who has gone far away.
Don’t underestimate what Historymom says about being “stuck” - I’m the only person in my extended family to live more than 20 miles from my original home, the only one to select a career - the area is dying economically.</p>
<p>Oooh, Historymom, I know your pain. My brother went a similar route for his two kids. Never asked me for my opinion so I didn’t say a word. Both kids were very accomplished. He wanted them to pick a career and train accordingly. One has since dropped out.</p>
<p>Later, when we were looking for a school for DD, HE expressed HIS opinion many times that we were nuts to be looking at so many schools for DD (he didn’t actually call us nuts, but pretty close). I still kept my opinion to myself. </p>
<p>In the end, DD had several attractive offers on the table with two full ride offers at great schools. Brother REALLY thought we were nuts to go with a school that did not offer merit money. I have to admit, with the new financial aid package at DD’s school it is tempting to let him know how very little we will pay next year. </p>
<p>Okay - I let my mean streak out here</p>
<p>Hey HistoryMom and Cangel — I didn’t realize you grew up in the same rural town as my DW!!! I’m sticking by my advice (not to get involved) but I think I understand the OPs lament. It’s disheartening to see a child with great potential be guided to a decision based on limited purview. And before I get trashed by hoards accusing me of both arrogance AND parental interference, consider this. As DW was finishing her PhD in Microbiology and Biochemistry, her parents bought the house next door so “she will have a place to live when she comes back.” Theirs was an entirely understandable action, because in her town, up to that time, NO ONE HAD EVER LEFT. $30,000 still buys a nice house in that town.</p>
<p>:-) Cangle and New Hope…I have a horrible admission…I grew up one town over from where I Currently live. But…I didn’t get stuck. I went to College and did my post grad in two of the best CITIES in the world, traveled the world for a year with a couple of busloads of somewhat likeminded idealists and basicly had a blast in other parts of the world for 8 years before returning home for what I thought would be a 6 month stint.</p>
<p>I love it here but feel deeply the importance of moving on and moving out for awhile. I know my girlfriend’s d will be fine regardless of her decision. She will most likely go somewhere else after her first couple of years at CC and will have a great life. It is presumptuous and condescending of me to assume that I always know what is best for my own DDs much less someone elses. I vow to give it a rest!</p>
<p>worknprogress thanks! My SIL feels we are crazy to not go the vocational route w/ our girls too. You are wise to keep your lip buttoned but it’s nice to be able to let that mean streak out here :-)</p>
<p>I went to a CC for my frosh and soph years before transferring to a 4-year. I graduated with only 3K in debt, which has since been paid off. Now I can go to grad school without worrying about how much debt I’m racking up. My husband went to a CC for his first two years as well. He eventually graduated from a top med school and is now a physician. Smart kids go to CCs too - it isn’t just a last resort. And whether or not a person can afford it, they may choose to spend their money in a different way.</p>
<p>You start out by saying the kid is pragmatic and basically has a good head on her shoulders. So chances are good this is a good decision for her. I think it’s unfortunate that CCs are looked down upon by so many people.</p>
<p>^Please believe me that it isn’t attending a CC that I worry about. I graduated with way too much debt and I wish I had been more pragmatic about my choices. </p>
<p>My deal was that she seemed to be making this decision without fully exploring her options. That can be limiting anywhere but especially in the community we come from which is well…quite limited.</p>
<p>Oh and don’t misunderstand me. I would definitely not offer any opinion. If I had thought of it I might have asked the parent how she felt about her child following that course - if the answer had been “we think that’s great” - I would have moved on to other topics.</p>
<p>My family began treating me as something just a little foreign when I brought my DH-to-be home almost 30 years ago. He grew up 100 entire miles from our area - they didn’t know any of his relatives, and most of his relatives were from another state - horrors!
Career training is a must for them - if you don’t go to college to train for a job, you cannot come home, there is not enough economic activity to just create a living. </p>
<p>DespSeek - yes there are very intellignt people at community colleges - just ask the kids on the Faulkner State CC Quiz Bowl team who have routed several Ivy League schools in the nationals. My family, though didn’t really have a choice.</p>