<p>My closest friend has a D the same age as my two. She is also one of their good friends. My friend's D has done well. I estimate that she has a 3.7 or higher uw so far. She is taking 2 of the 3 APs offered this year. She is a very pragmatic kid who looks at the whole picture and can always be counted on to make a reasonable choice. Her mom is the same way.</p>
<p>My friend told me that her D recently informed her that she plans to attend a local CC and live at home for the first two years after HS graduation in order to not "waste money" completing GE units at a college or university. Both my friend and her husband did the same thing. </p>
<p>I have bitten my tongue but I feel compelled to urge my friend to try to counsel her D out of her decision. I fear that her will look around next March and forever wonder "What could have been" I was just wondering what you would do.</p>
<p>No, it’s one of the financially smartest things a student can do. In terms of forming lasting friendships and relationships at university, it is by far and away the worst thing a student can do.</p>
<p>If this girl is precocious and taking APs and doing well, you should point out to her mother that the whole “get the GE out of the way at CC” thing will backfire if the daughter receives AP credit, which would enable her to place out of GE at a university and take specialized advanced classes much earlier. I assume she has not thought about the additional flexibility that being at a university and being able to take lots of different classes, including advanced ones, affords her. It’s not like everyone at university takes identical GE courses for the first two years and then immediately moves into all specialized upper year courses. That can be how it works, but it is almost invariably more patchy, with a combination of upper-level courses, GE courses, major and elective courses throughout the 4 years. That is what I would say to your friend.</p>
<p>Since both parents went the cc route, you may encounter a defensive reaction to advice that such a decision should be reconsidered. Is money a real concern or do you feel it is more of a value decision? If it is the latter, you might want to ask the Mom if she thinks there are intangible benefits associated with going away to college as a freshman that might outweigh the cost or if she has any regrets going that route? In short, I think it is OK to say something, but I would tread lightly and back off if you encounter heavy resistance. It isn’t worth creating a rift in your friendship.</p>
<p>I think a lot depends on which state the cc is in and what the transfer U will be. I don’t think 1of42’s issues re forming lasting friendships are so much of an issue in systems (like CCC to UC as kenf mentioned) where there is a well-defined path from cc to UC and you may travel the whole journey with a group of peers; just as you might if you stayed four years at one place.</p>
<p>You might suggest that she at least apply to a few other schools in case she changes her mind. You could also talk up some of the exciting programs and dicscoveries of great merit aid to them.
My son came home the first semester of this yr and said the same thing. After a week at home he realized that his statement was not true. He went back with a different point of view. He realized that he had changed from his friends who had stayed local. He had grown.
It also could be that the family has had some financial setbacks and the D is trying to help out. I know several kids who are living at home and doing the CC route because due to different circumstances there is no money.</p>
<p>Well, spending two years at cc and transferring isn’t a terrible decision. It’s probably not even a bad decision. It might be, like so many decisions in our society, a suboptimized decision. I DON’T think people make suboptimized decisions intentionally, and I DO think most decisions are made because the decision-maker thought them right. So I guess I agree with TheAnalyst (above), and also the non-confrontational suggestions by Mom60.</p>
<p>I think it is great that the kid and her parents are all on the same page.</p>
<p>Sometimes students at CCs mature faster than kids at residential schools; CC students are “living in the real world” (albeit Mom and Dad’s house) and a lot of them have jobs to support themselves. There are many pathways in life that can be followed after CC.</p>
<p>My advice: Unless you are offering to finance the alternative, butt out. This is a definite MYOB issue. The kid has a plan, her parents are happy with it.</p>
<p>My brother’s daughter is doing this, and while I probably would have advised something else, I wasn’t asked. (And since my H and I have been in the prof. business for decades, they would have asked if they wanted any input.) When I see my niece, I ask about her classes, her future plans, etc. and keep my opinions to myself.</p>
<p>The kids I know who’ve done this–often for financial reasons, sometimes not–have all ended up with plenty of close friends… and enough money for graduate school.</p>
What make you think that a kid can’t make friends at a community college? Both my kids have made their strongest friendships at college outside of school, either with young people who attend different schools or whom they have met via their work or internships.</p>
<p>Hold your opinion to yourself unless asked. Two years at a local community college is a viable way to transfer into many elite universities, including Brown.</p>
<p>Thanks all!!! I agree with everyone if that makes sense. I know the CC route can be an excellent option. I know the experience I had as a college freshman living in the dorms was one I would wish for all kids and I know that that means nothing in relation to other people’s experiences.</p>
<p>In my original post I neglected to include the fact that we live in a rural, geographically isolated area and that kids who don’t leave often end up becoming sort of “stuck” but even so I will not bring it up unless asked and then I will tread very lightly.</p>
What make you think that a kid can’t make friends at a community college? Both my kids have made their strongest friendships at college outside of school, either with young people who attend different schools or whom they have met via their work or internships.
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<p>That may be the case for your kids. In general though, two things are pretty clear: some of the closest bonds of friendship are formed at colleges with strong residential communities, and one forms better friendships if one is able to develop them longer (aka staying at the same place for 4 years).</p>
<p>That will obviously not be true for everyone, but it is certainly true in general.</p>
<p>For this family, going to CC might be a reasonable option; but if the idea is to get “cheaper” GE credits, and that is the only motivation, then they shouldn’t do it - assuming they are able to pay for a university, which I assume is the case since it wasn’t mentioned otherwise in the OP and would’ve been had it been an issue, I suspect.</p>
<p>I just don’t see the upside in skipping the full college experience in favor of saving some money. If the money is that big of an issue, so be it. But otherwise, I don’t think it’s a good decision at all.</p>
<p>As for how to bring it up… I don’t know. If it were me, I’d just put my opinion forward, being both deferential but clear in how I felt about it. Yes, technically it’s none of the OP’s business, but I don’t think that means it shouldn’t be said. Input should always be welcomed, as long as it’s put forward in a clearly constructive way.</p>
<p>Count me as another fan of cc. My best friend is a guy I met there 25 years ago.</p>
<p>My sister-in-law’s son is going the cc route, despite the fact that he went to a top hs in a great school district. I wasn’t asked my opinion and so am not offering one. My advice is MYOB.</p>
Actually, except for reunions from time to time, I have had very little contact with college friends over the years. Things fall apart rather quickly when people go off their separate ways. For a person who intends to settle in their home community, the cc or commuter school might provide contacts with people who will still be around years after graduation.</p>
<p>Anyway, I have seen quite a few of my daughter’s high school friends come home after a semester or year away at college – they were miserable and their college didn’t work out for them. My own kids have not been all that happy with their colleges from a social standpoint. I wouldn’t want to be the person responsible for urging somebody else’s homebody kid to make a choice that she was not emotionally ready for. Leaving home is not for everyone.</p>
<p>I agree that this is a personal family decision that should not be commented on unless asked for advice. However I have a question. Aren’t the statistics on getting a BA/BS degree within 6 years much lower for students who start at CC/JC’s vs students who start at traditional 4 year schools?</p>
Anyway, I have seen quite a few of my daughter’s high school friends come home after a semester or year away at college – they were miserable and their college didn’t work out for them. My own kids have not been all that happy with their colleges from a social standpoint. I wouldn’t want to be the person responsible for urging somebody else’s homebody kid to make a choice that she was not emotionally ready for. Leaving home is not for everyone.
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<p>You’re right, of course, that stepping on toes and pressuring people to change their decisions is not a good idea. But offering input in a very non-confrontational way can only be helpful, I think. Pressing the issue would be a bad idea, and if there is immediate pushback, obviously the right thing to do is apologize and drop the issue, but my personal philosophy is to offer advice, because you never know when it will really be helpful for them. In this case, maybe the parents haven’t ever considered full 4 year colleges because they never went, and that impression has just become a part of their daughter’s unconscious influences. Maybe offering a counterpoint could change her life in a positive way. Maybe not - maybe this decision is best for her and their family, and advice will not change it. But why not offer the advice?</p>