<p>Anyone had a kid who transferred after ONE semester? Did it work out?</p>
<p>She has already contacted a school to which she applied last year and she can enroll in January. She just hates her school and can't get emotionally attached to her school.
She likes her roommate and her other suitemates. They all get along and do stuff but.....
I don't have any problem with it - perhaps it is best to bail out now.
How do I know she will be happier elsewhere? argh!</p>
<p>I worry about kids transferring after one semester, because almost every college freshmen I’ve known has had a varying degree of difficulty with their first semester in college–from abject misery in every aspect of college to difficulty fitting in (my son). In almost every case, second semester proved to be the bonding semester and the kids haven’t looked back.</p>
<p>Two years ago, there was an epidemic in the previous graduating class of kids leaving their chosen school after a semester–it was weird, once one jumped ship, there seemed to be ten (they all came from a very small high school). After that happened, we were worried there was something wrong with the way our HS prepared kids for college, but last year’s class did fine, though almost all had a rocky first semester with all the newness. My ow son had a quad room with guys that were just not his “people” and hung in and made friends with some great guys. Now we can barely get him home! I always advocate with freshman year to try to make it the whole year.</p>
<p>Not my kid but a close friend’s D (who was the Val of S1’s class) went to a well respected private u. and hated it from the get go. Told her parents after the first week that it was not for her, never could give them a real specific reason. </p>
<p>The school was her mother’s alma mater and the family had been sure she would love it.</p>
<p>She stayed through the first semster (made Dean’s List so it wasn’t grades) and came home. Enrolled in a local U for Spring while re-applying to our Flagship state U (which she had been admitted to the yr. before). She is now a senior there with tons of friends ( lots from our h.s attend) and has been very happy…currently applying to Med Schools. That first school is a forgotten bump in the road.</p>
<p>Yes, my S did this last year. He was unhappy the day after he moved in. He liked his roommate and they got along fine, but there were several other factors that entered into it. One of the main issues was internet speed in the dorm that was horribly slow - couldn’t upload CS work (and he was a CS major) and couldn’t even watch a Youtube video.</p>
<p>He started the transfer process within the first week and we met with the transfer counselor at the school he wanted to go to. He had already been accepted there, so it was very easy. I wondered if he would change his mind as the semester went on, but it was torture for him every step of the way. He liked the people (some are going up next weekend to visit him at his new college), but he wanted to be in an environment where there were places to walk to and more going on. He transferred for the spring 08 semester and has been very happy.</p>
<p>I thought this thread would either be about bailing a kid out of jail vs. leaving them overnight for the lesson OR about bailing out of the stock market, assuming you had any value left :eek:</p>
<p>What does she hate about it? It seems unusual that she likes her roommates and suitemates but hates her school enough to transfer…If it were my kiddo I would want to know what they hated and why they thought it would be more different/more better somewhere else. Just MHO.</p>
<p>I would want to know what it is that my child doesn’t like because she could have the same reaction at her next school.</p>
<p>My son has a good female friend who hated her school (right away). She changed schools at semester (hated that one, too). Tried another for summer school (didn’t like that one either) Now what??? In her case, I think she just has unrealistic expectations.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that is what is going on with your kid, but I would want to learn some specifics (and not just some “red herrings” or fluff answers).</p>
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<p>I would probe the reasons a bit further and make sure she will definitely like the school she is transferring to. Perhaps she can go visit the other school again; now that she has actually experienced college she will know what to focus on during her college visit. If she still wants to bail, then I would say the sooner the better.</p>
<p>Thanks for your responses - somemom, you made me laugh! :)</p>
<p>I know why she can’t get attached. Bascially, the school is 2 hrs away in another state and the vast majority of kids live within 30 mins of the school. It is very much a suitcase college.
Her grades are good. Quite good really, and she has a rigorous schedule.
JL50ish - what you describe is what I am concerned about. </p>
<p>I basically told her she has to make all the moves. She is responsible for making arrangements to get enrolled, financial aid, visiting etc. I figure she should be able to do this on her own and take ownership. She has a friend at the other school she can visit and shadow so that should help her decision making.
After getting the first three into colleges they are happy with one would think the 4th would be easy!</p>
<p>Not D but a friend. She got there and found that she had not understood the culture of a southern university. She did not fit in at all coming from a northern city with a very multicultural HS and could not settle. She transferred in one semester and is very happy now.</p>
<p>The concern I would have is a little less dire than the one JL50ish has brought up, and that you are concerned about, but similar.</p>
<p>And that is that I have noticed a significant trend of students being unhappy with their current school at just this point in freshman year. I’m not sure what causes it. Perhaps that the newness has worn off and that the realities of adjustment to a totally new life situation and environment are setting in. Adjustments do take time, for any of us. But an 18 or 19 year old may not realize this. And the never-before-experienced adjustment discomfort may feel like a wrong decision when it isn’t.</p>
<p>For some it is the comparison of how they fit into their new world vs. the world they have left: they feel out of sync socially. Some of these are just having unrealistic (understandable, but unrealistic) expectations - of course they don’t feel as bonded and settled and tight in their friendships - after six weeks - as they did with the bonds they developed over 4 or 12 years at home.</p>
<p>For some it is that the academics are not right. For some it is homesickness.</p>
<p>There are so many possible reasons.</p>
<p>I have just observed that a goodly number of these who are so unhappy at this point… even still at Thanksgiving break… are quite happy, even thrilled, with their current school by semester break.</p>
<p>Not all go through this turnaround; I’m not saying that. I transferred myself back in the day, after one year; and I did know part way into one term that the first school was a bad academic fit for me.</p>
<p>So, I would just be cautious that it may be too soon for her to make a correct judgment. And I would be concerned if a student, in haste to leave school #1, makes the wrong move. Especially if school #2 is chosen because it is an easy move - accepting January transfer, say, when most schools don’t. Because maybe there is a better transfer school that involves waiting until fall, or a more complicated application process.</p>
<p>Either way, I feel for you. It’s hard to be a parent whose kid is not thriving. Especially when we hear of so many who just love their college life from Day One. </p>
<p>I think you are wise to leave the ball in her court as to all of the arrangements and logistics. Perhaps just having a talk with her, telling her that you are fine with whatever decision she makes… but that you want her to be able to articulate what it is about her current school that isn’t working and how she can determine that the next school won’t have that issue, or some other issue, so that the next move will be the right move.</p>
<p>Almost 30 years ago (that was hard to write), I transferred after one quarter. My reasons were similar to your daughter’s – I just wasn’t happy. Though my new university wasn’t as prestigious as my old, I didn’t – and don’t – regret my decision; the new school was just better for me. And despite the comparative lack of national prestige, I was able to get into the law school I wanted to go to, and ultimately made a success of my life (at least according to some) as an attorney. As long as she’s going to continue with her education, I’d support her.</p>
<p>One of my Ds ended up at her financial safety, the one UC she to which she applied- she talked about transferring, but never did it. It was never a good fit; she is doing a masters at a lower ranked state school and is very happy- prestige does not make you happy day to day.</p>
<p>My other D at a UC feels it is a good place for her on paper, but she also is not thrilled- it is fine, she is a senior, lots of good things have happened, but it is not “her” place. Her study abroad school was filled with her “people” in just one semester she met more people she really likes than in her 3 years at Cal. Don’t get me wrong, she is involved and has many friends, and her experience looks wonderful on a grad school app, it is more like a ‘fit’ and comfort level that is not there.</p>
<p>Gut instinct can be good to go by, though with a freshman it is hard to know when to tell them to power through- will it get better or not?</p>
<p>This happened to DD’s friend last year. Cultural thing (liberal northerner went to conservative southern LAC, and returned immediately to Big Northern State U).</p>
<p>Generally, I’d say go ahead and transfer, but the “she hates her school” thing is too imprecise to be certain that she won’t find the same problem at the new one… what’s the problem?</p>
<p>And, I’d make it superclear: you will not transfer again (take it from one who bounced around several schools: not a good idea)</p>
<p>jmmom: thank you for your eloquent post…soooo true, but so hard for both the student and parent to realize this…</p>
<p>A “suitcase school” can be a real problem for a residential student socially… I am much more skeptical when the unhappy students can’t make it academically, and blame their failure on “hating the school”. If your D is doing well, and is getting along with the roommate, but still feels like an outsider; if she is willing to do all the work required to transfer and has a good idea where she wants to be - I’d support her decision…</p>
<p>On the bright side - apparently you can transfer 6 times, take 6 years to graduate, and still become a VP nominee 
(jk)</p>
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<p>This is so true. I wish it were easier to tell in advance which schools are suitcase schools.</p>
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<p>Absolutely.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your input, wisdom and advice. </p>
<p>Academically she is doing well - although she feels lonely. Her program is a very small one at a small school, her advisor is only part time and there aren’t any kids in her major in any of her classes. The school to which she wants to transfer has a very well established program. It’s a health professions major and requires rigorous science classes. This is one reason for transferring sooner than later.
Depending on the specialty she chooses she will be in a 3+1 or a 2+2 program with the final one or two years in a hospital. I would like to get her settled and enjoying part of the college experience.</p>
<p>I am just going to keep sending the ball back to her court - if she wants this bad enough she can jump through the hoops.</p>
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<p>I know why she can’t get attached. Bascially, the school is 2 hrs away in another state and the vast majority of kids live within 30 mins of the school. It is very much a suitcase college.
Her grades are good. Quite good really, and she has a rigorous schedule.
JL50ish - what you describe is what I am concerned about. </p>
<p>I basically told her she has to make all the moves. She is responsible for making arrangements to get enrolled, financial aid, visiting etc. I figure she should be able to do this on her own and take ownership. She has a friend at the other school she can visit and shadow so that should help her decision making.
After getting the first three into colleges they are happy with one would think the 4th would be easy! <<<<<</p>
<p>Aha… so… she’s at a school where many/most either commute or go home for the weekend. Therefore, she feel’s “blue” once weekends come. </p>
<p>Well, I would suggest a weekend job - so she won’t be lonely when weekends roll around. And, she’ll make some friends with co-workers.</p>
<p>You mentioned that she needs to arrange the financial aid at the new school. Is that even going to be possible for spring semester? I’m not an expert on F/A, but will she even have such a package at her new school if she changes after fall semester? </p>
<p>I would NOT let her change schools until I saw “in writing” what her new f/a is going to be for Spring '09 at the “new school”. Kids “assume” a lot and you don’t want to get a “surprise” after she’s moved and finds out that the “new school’s” F/A won’t start until Fall '09.</p>
<p>Again, I suggest that she get a weekend job. That will take care of the loneliness issue on weekends.</p>
<p>“The school to which she wants to transfer has a very well established program. It’s a health professions major and requires rigorous science classes. This is one reason for transferring sooner than later.”</p>
<p>Perhaps it is a better fit and will provide her with more opportunities down the road.</p>