All the colleges I’m applying to require one long essay, so I’ve written two rough drafts. Here’s my dilemma.
The first essay is about how I moved around a lot (6 cities in 3 continents) due to my parents’ jobs and financial issues, and I think it’d help explain my stellar yet inconsistent EC’s and a few low grades. It’s kinda sad and trite, I think.
The second one is about my volunteer experience with homeless kids. It’s creative and humorous. I personally like this one a lot more because it reflects my personality and comes from my heart. I genuinely learned so much from teaching those kids.
If I choose to submit the second essay, however, there is not really a way to explain my situations with EC’s and whatever… so I guess my question is, would it be better to submit an essay that helps to explain the weak parts of your application, or an essay that captures your positive experience?
<p>Dude, DEFINITELY go with the second one. The way you describe it, it seems that you display your writing ability much better in the second one, and even you admit you are more fond of it. </p>
<p>"It's creative and humorous. I personally like this one a lot more because it reflects my personality and comes from my heart. I genuinely learned so much from teaching those kids."</p>
<p>that is exactly what colleges want. Any guidance counselor can explain some rough circumstances in his letter of recommendation. </p>
<p>A rule of thumb in politics: "when you are explaining, you are losing".</p>
<p>If you are explaining your problems, you are are drawing attention to them, and you are at the same time neglecting to draw attention to your strengths. Are your problems really so bad as to require an explanation? </p>
<p>I favor writing from the heart, whatever the topic is. No doubt others will write about homeless kids. But your essay can stand up to the competition if it is from your heart. </p>
<p>An essay that you don't like and don't want to send, but feel compelled to send, is not IMO likely to stand up to the competition, no matter how unique the topic may be. </p>
<p>IMO it is good to have a unique topic, but it is more important to write what you want to write, and authentically, from your heart.</p>
<p>I can't believe hundreds of applicants write about working with disadvantaged kids or something along tha tline. Nobody I know have worked with homeless kids. GAH. I'm just going to ditch BOTH essays.</p>
<p>everybody's so concerned with triteness that the whole process of adding originality to their essays has seemingly become ALL their essay.
A good writer can make anything mind-blowing.</p>
<p>Tons of people are going to write about volunteerng in some form or the other. Even if you were the best writer in the world, it doesn't change the fact that your topic is trite (the second one, not the first). Also, the first would help to explain the bad grades, like you said, just don't directly state it and let them make the inference.</p>
<p>hmm...i have a suggestion. you said that you moved around a lot. Maybe you can write something about that while not necessarily highlighting the low points of your application yet instead you can integrate in something about helping homeless kids. I assume that living in all of the places that you have has some relationship with helping homeless children. If it does , you can smoothly blend in both topics while at the same time showing uniqueness and not being trite or sad or any of that.
and believe me explaining stuff like why you don't have consistence because you have moved around a lot does not go far; because there are many people who move around while they keep up with their passions and grades. anyways its something that colleges can tell when they see that you have been in 6 cities over a short period of time; or your councilor can take bout it but I strongly recommend that you dont do it .
"when you are explaining, you are losing" <----o i really like tht quote :D , and ohh so true</p>
<p>Go with #2, my D wrote about her work with children with special needs from the heart and it was well recieved, she got a lot of service/leadership scholarships as well and was flown out to one school, mainly as a result of her essay which highlighted her community service. You can add the first letter as an extra to explain if need be but have it read by your GC to make sure the tone is right.</p>