<p>After years helping S prepare for college, I now find myself just waiting to hear what happens in March. It creates an odd sort of paralysis: everything is done, and all of the cards on the table. Now, did he win the hand?</p>
<p>Does anyone else feel this odd sense of detachment, waiting for the results?</p>
<p>More than paralysis, I feel great relief. A lot of work went into this college search process. I am glad that the light is beginning to shine at the end of the tunnel, just hoping it isn't a train!</p>
<p>I feel like I've run every emotional and physcial gamut there is. I've been stressed, relieved, elated, depressed, nauseated, happy, tearful, etc. It changes from hour to hour, occasionally minute to minute if I suddenly "think" of something that wasn't done that possibly should have been done. Should she have applied to more schools? Should she have written a different essay? I'll be so relieved when her other letter arrives and when the scholarship weekends are over. If DD is stressed about things right now, it doesn't show. I'm very happy that she is so excited about the process. It's times like this I'm glad she is an only child.</p>
<p>I felt very detached from the rest of life after the ED app and the "safety" app were in--just waiting for Dec 15, I could do little more than log on to CC for moral suppost. Fortunately, our hiatus is over and no more apps will be required-- that fact was almost as exciting as D actually getting in to her first choice school. It's much easier to gear up now for "getting ready for college", a specific goal is better than an amorphous future.</p>
<p>My advice: you're no longer responsible for what happens now. Just be prepared to embrace destiny--with such careful preparation , your S will "come down where he's supposed to be" and everything will turn out as it should.</p>
<p>All the best,
pyewacket</p>
<p>Having gone through this before, I can recall that period from Jan. to April. The way I remember it was glad the apps were all done. It was a "break" of sorts. The topic of the whole college admissions process was having a breather. The app thing was not over the kids' heads any longer. It really was not as much on the mind. I can't say we totally forgot about the whole process but it was way less intense than in the fall when apps were a major undertaking. I'd say that Jan. and Feb. were a break from the whole deal. Around March, the whole process came again to the forefront and the anxiousness of waiting for mail came up. But it was close to the time again. </p>
<p>The outcome is a big unknown and all, but then quickly the results roll in and that period is a shorter period of time than the app process, and can be exciting as decisions are made where to attend or revisit. If you can treat Jan. and Feb. as back to "normal" (what's normal? I know), it is a little "vacation" from all things college admissions. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>We were never very concerned about #1, partly because he had an excellent rolling admissions acceptance at this stage; everything else was interesting but not critical. However, #2 did not apply to our in-state flagship universities because she wanted to attend art school; we had no clue whether she would get into any place, and she said if she failed then she'd sit out a year and go to the local community college and then try again. That was scary. As it turned out she got into all of the schools to which she applied. Although a couple acceptances came very fast (Feb/March), the critical ones came toward the end of the cycle.</p>
<p>reasonabledad, I remember that feeling well. </p>
<p>Sending you good vibes-- try not to put everything into a holding pattern; to savor and enjoy these next few months because they are the last months you will have your child with you all the time and they go fast!</p>
<p>I feel pretty good. Not really good but pretty good. Hendrix and Case came in at a doable number (with us taking out more loans than we wanted). In-state safety is still there if she gets cold feet. (Although this being Texas , it is as far away as Hendrix. LOL.) </p>
<p>I think the difference may be that D had two very disparate lists. The practical list is doing just fine and we expect news to trickle in about every week or so of scholarships and acceptances and weekends.</p>
<p>Now the lottery (admissions and/or FA) list is the one we are paralyzed (powerless?) about. Nothing to do but wait and hope the skies open. If she only had list two, I'd be hospitalized by now.</p>
<p>I am so glad my daughter decided to do ED and was successful. I was pretty stressed out leading up to the decision in December. I can't imagine how I could have lasted until April.</p>
<p>8 apps out - 3 back, with $$ attached. All of us are just waiting for the rest to trickle in; anxious about some more than others. At least at this point we know D's apps were well done, interviews went well and the essay written her way. The waiting is the hard part. The only thing harder than that will be the next waiting period - for her decision.
Good luck to all.</p>
<p>reasonabledad--
I can still remember that feeling five years ago with S. Fortunately, D put us out of our misery early with ED last year. ;)</p>
<p>Wishing you happy thoughts as springtime approaches!</p>
<p>Actually, you or your kids may have one more card to play. If there are any updates the application (e.g., important awards, snazzy project) you can share these with a very concise letter to your admissions rep. My son sent one of these in early February - just after the midyear grades went out, when he had additional aca dec and SO medals to include. Other updates worth mentioning could include completing an Eagle or Gold award, or something of that nature. He copied his GC on this so she would be up to date.</p>
<p>Again, the letter should be very brief, and should only be sent if you really have something worth communicating.</p>
<p>Thank you to all! It's useful to hear that others have the same sense, or have experienced some related emotions.</p>
<p>S has a rolling admission from a good school in hand: I think I'd be very, very stressed if this was not so, and this was something I learned on CC a few years ago. Now we have ten apps out and are not really expecting much in the way of news until March.</p>
<p>It just seems odd after hustling for so long to help S plan for all of the tests, the classes, the final exams, the applications...now it is just waiting.</p>
<p>I have that nagging feeling that there is still something left to do, like we forgot something. We keep checking but no, everything is done. It is a little unnerving.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>Reasonabledad...
I definitely felt what you are describing.....not knowing what or where your kids will be doing/living is a very unsettling feeling....at least that is what it was for me...not knowing was very very tough..... I chose to view it as a beginning of my own autonomy from my child..... I actually had a lot going on at work during these crucial 3 mos so the time did pass, but I was very "resentful" of the work upheaval, and I think it was because it was taking some of my paralyzed energy away from my child focus...... ultimately it all settled down at work....and it all resolved itself nicely for my child....only suggestion I have is to stay as busy as you can......and echo SBMom's idea to enjoy the now time cause it will be Sept before you can believe it.......I was on a collage project for our hs graduation.....every family built an 8X10" collage of their student...which we displayed at graduation like a long roll of film...... that was a lot of fun.....and is still a wonderful remembrance of how quickly they grow.....each child got their collage back upon returning from proj graduation...... kind of fun..... lots of busy work rounding up all the stray collages etc.....mounting them...definite distraction.....</p>
<p>RD, I remember feeling a bit like Ike at the Normandy invasion. Everything was set in motion, there wasn't a damned thing to do but wait, and it was all out of your hands now.</p>
<p>What you're feeling is Reasonable.</p>
<p>I find the money part the big stressor. Filling out the forms, waiting on $$ offers. D still needs to submit portfolio for Merit consideration.</p>
<p>My D did a good job of owning the applications process. I didn't see any of the apps or essays, just wrote the application fee checks, and I was ok with that. Helps knowing she already has a couple of acceptances in the bag...</p>
<p>"I am so glad my daughter decided to do ED and was successful. I was pretty stressed out leading up to the decision in December. I can't imagine how I could have lasted until April."</p>
<p>Me too, audiophile, me too. Mine went SCEA, but same difference. Now I wonder what to do with myself since all the obsession is over! I suppose I could start exercising, eat right, read a book...nah, I spend too much time on CC!</p>
<p>I think the stress level is also related to how open minded your child is to attending different schools. In my daughter's case, she was single-mindedly attached to only one school, where she had been deferred EA. No amount of discussion would help her to see that other options could be equally as good. Worrying that she would be crushed in April really added to the stress. By contrast, my son really did like several schools, one of which was a fairly solid match. While I did feel very stressed, it was, in retrospect, more a reaction to my own hopes and dreams for him than worry about how he might cope. I think when the latter also factors in, it's a lot worse.</p>
<p>You must be a full-pay kind of person. You wouldn't feel "paralyzed" if you were busy trying to fill out a FAFSA right now. My schedule looks something like this:
1. Complete preliminary FAFSA with estimated financial information for 6 colleges with earliest deadlines, for daughter
2. Amend FAFSA to list 6 remaining colleges, for daughter
3. Work with son to complete FAFSA for his 3?? colleges
4. Mail supplemental financial aid materials to all of daughter's colleges that require it
5. Get all docs to CPA by 2nd week of Feb so he can prepare 2005 return ASAP.
6. Amend 3 FAFSA sets to conform to information on final 2005 return
7. Mail copies of 2005 returns to all colleges that want them.</p>
<p>If past experience is any guideline, February & March should also be busy months for talking to and corresponding with financial aid people, to make sure they get all the information they want. Lots of extra questions for us self-employed, divorced people!</p>