<p>Just wondering if any other families have had discussions regarding who is allowed to open the notification letters when they arrive. My son is adament that no one else is allowed to open anything college-wise that comes. Mail gets to our house about 3 hours before he gets home--and it will take alot of self control for me to leave those letters lay!!!!! I do agree that it is "his" moment, but just wondered if the topic had come up elsewhere and what everyone else is planning.</p>
<p>As a student, I'm going on step beyond who's opening the letter. I'm threatening physical harm on my parents if they will even touch the mailbox during decision mail out time because you can tell if you're accepted by the size of the letter.</p>
<p>(im not a parent but...)
in my house its always been that the student applying opens it but the parents are always close by in case the news isnt as good as hoped...its their future after all...I can totally understand parents being anxious about it...but our household figures that the student should be the first to know...</p>
<p>** GRRR....MY MAIL!!! THERE'S A REASON IT'S ADDRESSED TO ME!!! **</p>
<p>Sorry, I understand your anxiety, but it's the kid's letter. Period. Not even a question.</p>
<p>My S got his good news by email, so we didn't even have to be tempted!</p>
<p>My daughter opened all of her letters herself. Was it hard to wait for her to come home? Yes. But SHE is the one who did all of the hard work of getting good grades, getting good test scores, and applying to colleges. This was HER moment, HER reward, HER life, not mine. </p>
<p>And, next year, she'll be on her own, opening her own mail, and dealing with her own life. Time to get used to the idea. :)</p>
<p>Absolutely, only the applicant.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that some schools also make it obvious by the envelope size or a notation on the envelope what the result is. For example, my S attends Case Western in Cleveland. The envelope last year looked like a ticket and had "Admit One" along the right hand side. Didn't need to wonder when that arrived in the mail!</p>
<p>Either way, it is the kid's mail. Let them open the letters.</p>
<p>I don't know if you can always count on the envelope size as an indicator. Two out of the four acceptances my daughter received came in ordinary thin number 10 envelopes, and they didn't have anything on the outside but her name and address. But, the other two were clearly "fat envelopes".</p>
<p>Always, always, the mail is to be opened by the person to whom it is addressed. No exceptions. </p>
<p>Even while D is away at school, I send her mail to her. If something comes that looks urgent (jury duty summons or something) I'll call or email to ask her if she wants me to open it, or if I should send it to her unopened.</p>
<p>The person to whom it's addressed. DD usually beats me home anyway, but if she doesn't, anything addressed to her goes in a pile on the front table.</p>
<p>But that doesn't mean you can't obsess over the mail until the intended recipient gets home.</p>
<p>My oldest opened everything himself. This year my second sometimes opens but for a lot of the promotional mailings he asked that we open them and get rid of most of them. Particlularly if he leaves them there on the counter unopened for 3 days.</p>
<p>All the acceptances that he has received to date he has opened. I suspect that will continue to be the case.</p>
<p>Sorry. No exceptions. Mail is opened by the addressee.</p>
<p>I would most definitely respect my child's preference with regard to this issue.</p>
<p>That said, my son, for whatever reason, considered me a full partner in the college application experience and had no problem if I came across something first (which, if I recall correctly, only happened once....He used MY email addy for all college related stuff because he had been experiencing on-and-off technical issues with his laptop, and the JHU acceptance came by email with a big "CONGRATULATIONS on your admission to JHU!" in the title).</p>
<p>He opened all mail, though really, by the time the snail mail acceptances came, he already knew of his acceptances. I am fairly sure that the Duke finaid package came while he was at school, and I did open that as it had to do with financial stuff, which was OUR responsibility, but as soon as I realized that Duke had just become a reality for him, I rushed right over to the school to share the phenomenal news!</p>
<p>I feel SO grateful to my son for sharing this process with us in the way that he did and for his constant realization of what we, as his parents, contributed to the entire process. His openness and willingness to truly share with us when the exciting part came (as opposed to when it was all just "drudge" work) is something that I will always remember and treasure. To me, his attitude reflected an amazing maturity, a touching gratitude, and a selflessness that spoke volumes. </p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>My sons always opened college mail addressed to them. My younger son was gone quite a bit, so if something that appeared important arrived, I would call him and ask what I should do with it. Often he told me to open it so he could know what it was immediately, but I always respected his wishes.</p>
<p>I know from personal experience the hurt that can come when parents don't allow their children to experience that special moment. My acceptance letter to my top choice college arrived when I was at school, and my father opened it. I learned secondhand that I had made it in. While still exciting, it was a definite letdown, and I was quite hurt that he didn't let me have the honor of opening the letter. I vowed that I would never open any of my children's mail without permission.</p>
<p>The letter should definately be opened by your son if that is what he want. Is it reasonable for you to be tempted? Yes. Is that an excuse to open it when it's his to open? Not at all. I think it's completely fair for him to want to open it himself.</p>
<p>Personally, I didn't care if I was the one opening it or not. This was only an issue with 1 college, Case Western...I had been notified of my acceptance online but not about scholarship. When the letter came in the mail I called my brother and had him open it and read it to me. I'd rather find out sooner than later...</p>
<p>i think i'm going to have a problem with this. you see, my mom is home all day. our mail usually comes before noon, but because of school and track practice after school, i won't be home til 5:30-6pm. i know that she will check the mail even if i beg her not to because she does things like that. how can i talk to her about not touching or even going near the mail box between march 14 and the time when i get my last decision letter? it's really important to me that i'm the first to know about my admissions decisions.</p>
<p>Definitely the student. It's their "moment." For those schools which don't signal the contents with cute sayings or thick envelopes, there's always the time-honored way to pass the time: hold it to the light, twist, turn, squint, massage the envelope --- looking for that one word that will gie you the clue. "Congratulations," for example ;).</p>
<p>Anything that seemed to be of a financial nature I opened, since that was our responsibility. Anything that looked like a admissions letter, I brought to school if I was picking up -- otherwise, I just tried to see through the envelope until he got home! The only mistake was a likely letter, which looked like a request for more info or FA stuff and arrived in February, when we weren't expecting any admissions responses. I opened it, and immediately realized that I shouldn't have! I brought it to his school and had him look at it right away. Actually, at first I didn't really think of it as a likely letter -- although it did say that he would certainly be admitted in April. My first response, though, was tears. How in the world were we going to pay for it?!</p>