<p>On the parents board, there was a big argument about who should open up decision letters/online notifications. A lot of parents thought they should, a few thought we should. Im curious what you think since were the ones going to boarding school. So here are some choices to vote on:</p>
<ol>
<li> I definitely want my parents to open the letters and tell me the news</li>
<li> I dont care one way or the other if my parents open the letters and tell me the news</li>
<li> I definitely want to be the one that opens my letters.</li>
</ol>
<p>Which are you? And why?</p>
<p>Ill go first.</p>
<h1>3 I definitely want to open my own letters. Its really important to me and its addressed to me anyway. I do want my parents near-by so I can share the news.</h1>
<p>I don’t think any parents thought that they SHOULD open it. They just didn’t think it was a bid deal. I guess once you’re married, you get used to others opening your mail. You’d be hard pressed to find a parent here who would refuse a their child the right to open their own letters if they expressed that wish.</p>
<p>Great question. I’m with Neato. Keep in mind that in some cases, parents are getting their own email with a contract and/or FA award at the very same time. I opened my email and got some news before my D was awake :)</p>
<p>I usually hand the kids their own mail to open, but I asked my ds what he thought about the mail opening issue and he shrugged and said he didn’t care who opened the mail, as if it was ridiculous for me to ask.</p>
<p>I was hoping other kids my age could answer this. There’s already lots of parent commentary on the Parents part of the site, but this about what we think.</p>
<p>My children say we should open together. (Sorry, neither post here, one is applying to college the other Boarding School).<br>
My older child got an acceptance from a college while at boarding school and we skyped and opened it “together.”</p>
<p>3 i would like to open it myself and have my parents near me so I could tell them. last year my friend was over and we had already got the letter and my mom opened it first when i applied to a day school. it was good news but still. i wouldve liked to know first</p>
<p>How difficult is it to cope with own sadness if child is not accepted? </p>
<p>I would be really upset if my Dad (who is the one who would do it) would ever open this email before me. I know they pay and that they work hard to help me in every way but I still want to open this mail myself. After I read the parents arguing about it, I asked my Dad to let me open it and that he’d be the first to know what it says. Hopefully, I’ll get good news. But no matter what, I think it’s my news to see first. More parents than not thought it was ok to open this mail first, which I didn’t want to happen to me.</p>
<p>Thanks magneticzero. I was looking for a topic with it in the title. </p>
<p>Here’s the thing - it’s a FAMILY DECISION to send the child to boarding school. The parents have much invested in it as does the child.<br>
Balance that with - it is addressed to them (although I seem to remember some schools sending 2 letters? can’t remember…) Oh yes, one school sent the “congrats” letter to my child with a t-shirt and then the parents got - the same day - a different package with the FA info. I do not think most schools do this though.</p>
<p>Anyway, clues: BIG envelopes usually mean acceptance. Small usually (but not always) mean waitlist or non-acceptance. </p>
<p>With my college child the envelope from from the “admissions” office and said “Congratulations” in HUGE letters on it. Pretty clear an acceptance.</p>
<p>Opening together worked really well for my family. Same with the online notifications - we went online at midnight TOGETHER.</p>
<p>Hi Linda - Yeah, that’s what I don’t like, that you’re willing to send me to boarding school to be independent, but you still make a separate rule when it pleases you. I really think it’s just because you can’t stand to wait until we open the mail. You wouldn’t like it if I opened mail that the school addressed to you. I’m going to tell my parents right away, anyway. But if it’s addressed to me I think it shows you respect me that you let me open my own mail first instead of saying “Nope - it’s a family decision (or FAMILY DECISION).” Anyway, this is my opinion and I want to know what other kids my age are thinking.</p>
<p>Whoever gets it from the mailbox first should have the right to open it. =]
After all, no matter who opens it, the content in it is still going to be the same.</p>
<p>My family relation is very close, so there is no problem either way who is going to open it first. But I will not open it purposefully this time, because I can tell pretty much the result by the size of the package already.</p>
<p>Clearly you did not properly read my posts. I never said I opened the mail without them. I said that you have to balance that it is a family decision and that the info is addressed to THEM. And THEN, I said we opened them together. </p>
<p>It has nothing to do with me not being able to “stand to wait” - in fact, I HAVE A JOB and am not home when the mail arrives. We get home together and open it together. </p>
<p>It works for our family, clearly it would not work for yours. My two children both agree with it as I mentioned and with my college age student, I believe, if you actually read my posts completely, that I called him and he had us open it with him via skype.</p>
<p>Here’s the thing - it’s a FAMILY DECISION to send the child to boarding school. The parents have much invested in it as does the child.
Balance that with - it is addressed to them (although I seem to remember some schools sending 2 letters? can’t remember…) </p>
<p>It sounded to me like you were yelling (caps) that it’s a FAMILY DECISION and therefore you don’t let your kid open the letter without you being there. Is that not true? Would you let your kid open the letter without you?</p>
You’d be hard pressed to find a parent here who would refuse a their child the right to open their own letters if they expressed that wish.</p>