<p>I can't believe this is even a question! I don't think I could ever forgive my parents if they opened THE LETTER... or any of my mail for that matter.</p>
<p>Strick, you're welcome. Lines clearly drawn and respected help curb creeping fascism in the family. :)</p>
<p>We do the same as TheDad...S opens the key letters though (as long as I think it is key). No mistakes so far.</p>
<p>Isn't it a federal offense to open someone else's mail?</p>
<p>Agree with ohio_mom that the envelopes often are a giveaway, either when they are fat or in some cases when the envelopes have something written on the outside, such as large, bold-face type saying "This is your fat envelope." My daughter received one of the latter from CMU.</p>
<p>My mom (Cami215) handles the obvious junk mail, but the "serious stuff" gets set on the counter so that I can open it when I get home. Actually, if she's really curious about what's inside, she'll shove the envelope into my hands as I stand on the doorstep. That's fine by me.</p>
<p>That happened Friday when I got a likely letter from UVa. It was a skinny one.</p>
<p>we followed TheDad's approach....over time, the marketing materials came to be extreme, so Son didn't even care to look at them, but parents did.</p>
<p>But, when it came to posting the accpetance/defferral/denial online, that was the student's perogative when and where to check the status.</p>
<p>Here's a novel approach that I know one parent used: they steamed open the envelope, found the good news, resealed the envelope, and then later in the day when the student opened it the parent feigned great joy and surprise.</p>
<p>BTW/ I have never seen a truly fat envelope that wasn't an acceptance, but sometimes thin envelopes are acceptances, containing the bare letter without all the supporting forms and documents that will often come later in the case of acceptances (for housing, financial aid or payment plans, health insurance, computer purchases, etc.).</p>
<p>student's mail = student's mail, period</p>
<p>Now that that's out of the way, I must confess I opened my son's very first acceptance letter, by accident (I swear!!!). It was a skinny envelope and it came very early (rolling admissions) and we figured it was something boring like an acknowlegement of receipt or a request for additional information. I was shocked to read the acceptance. Son wasn't fooled when I gave him a badly taped up envelope. There was another letter that came UNSEALED, and the acceptance letter literally fell out of the envelope. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!!</p>
<p>I'm out on a lonely island on this one; just me and Beruah! Our entire family opens each others' mail. Not always, or even often, but it isn't unusual or taboo. Actually, truth is, nobody tends to open the mail. It just sits there waiting for somebody to notice it. I have to beg my kids sometimes several days just to open birthday cards that come for them. I understand it's not everybody's way, but we're fine with it. The mail will sit for a day or two, but we tend to be so busy sometimes, that something that doesn't get dealt with right away, tends to not get dealt with at all.</p>
<p>Both my boys were out of the country when some of their acceptances arrived. The oldest called as frequently as possible to check status - which may have been once a week. He was in Peru, without email. The big news for him was not that he got in, but that we were willing to let him go.</p>
<p>Second S was in the US, 6 hours behind us. When his Juilliard acceptance arrived here Special Delivery at 10 a.m., I had to wait hours before I could even call him. I called my H at work, though, and he started yelling in his sedate German office, and then had to explain to all his coworkers what the heck The Juilliard School was, and why it mattered.</p>
<p>So I guess you could say we had their permission, although none of us ever thought to discuss it. "Hey S2; I've got a special delivery letter from Juilliard. Do you want me to open it, or wait till you get here in June?" </p>
<p>Certainly, if they had ever given any inkling of wanting it another way, we would have respected that. However, at our house, we tend to fight over who HAS to go to the mailbox, not who GETS to.</p>
<p>As far as the concerns by a few posters about legal stuff; all my kids were minors in my custody at the time their acceptances came. And they would have had to file charges, anyway, which, if they were interested in dinner that night, was probably not advisable.</p>
<p>We currently have friends living in our US house, who open all our mail. It's a lot cheaper to send us an email about something than to forward lots of unopened junk just because their "might" be something important there. It is a little weird having someone else privy to every detail of our lives, but at least it's someone we trust. </p>
<p>News sources always fight to break a story, because it's human nature to want to be the first to know, so that sells papers. So I certainly understand those who feel they want or need complete control over it, and to be the first. In the overall scheme of things, I guess that's just not high on our list.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Actually, truth is, nobody tends to open the mail. It just sits there waiting for somebody to notice it. I have to beg my kids sometimes several days just to open birthday cards that come for them.
[/quote]
<strong>ROFLMAO</strong>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
<p>binx~</p>
<p>I didn't know you lived in OUR house!!!! No wonder it seems crowded!! <em>lolololol</em> ;) ~berurah</p>
<p>Beyond marketing materials, D was juggling enough on her plate that she didn't even want to look at "status report" mailings unless they required her to do something. And I admit, our process evolved, in part prompted by then-discussions on this board about what was fair game to open. This is, I believe, the third time this thread has come up.</p>
<p>S was at Emory Scholars weekend when the RD letters arrived - I opened every one and called him on his cell phone, just as he requested.</p>
<p>OK, let me ask a related question: What about when the acceptance is first announced on the university website? Do all of you refrain from checking the website?</p>
<p>As a student, I would certainly hope so unless the kid specifically requested it. My passwords and emails are private in my family.</p>
<p>
[quote]
OK, let me ask a related question: What about when the acceptance is first announced on the university website? Do all of you refrain from checking the website?
[/quote]
hayden~</p>
<p>Son's decisions were announced times when he was home, so he checked them, though he barely wanted to touch the mouse and made ME sit directly in front of the computer while he was beside me! <em>lol</em></p>
<p>Since he was home, this was not an issue, but if he hadn't been, I'd have asked him what he wanted and would have done as he wished.</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>
[quote]
Strick, you're welcome. Lines clearly drawn and respected help curb creeping fascism in the family.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I try to always fess up when you're right, TheDad. Especially since "project manager" sounds so much better than "overbearing parent". :lol</p>
<p>hayden, Yes, I refrained despite knowing the PIN number, and heard the good news as a result of all the commotion upstairs after S checked the site!</p>
<p>I think if a parent has to ask a forum they want the answer to be YES you can open it. The letter does not belong to you. Let this thrill or nightmare be experienced by the person who lived the life not the person who birthed it. Stand by be happy or sad but STAND BY.
So I think let the kid open his or her own letter. LOL</p>
<p>OK, let me ask a related question: What about when the acceptance is first announced on the university website? Do all of you refrain from checking the website? </p>
<p>of course
the student should know first!</p>