<p>I guess I’m somewhat confused - was the $20K to pay for the dad’s retraining program, or to pay for the son’s further education? I was under the impression it was to pay for the son?</p>
<p>Sylvan, you are correct. $20k figure is Dad’s debt for retraining, which seems high for a CC program.</p>
<p>The mother and the son want Dad to take out more loans ( or come up with more $$$), so SON can graduate debt free.</p>
<p>Ok, I thought 20k was son’s college loans. I was wrong.</p>
<p>The facts are unclear in regards to why there will be a 20K debt.</p>
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<p>Then he can find another college that will accept him when he is 24.</p>
<p>Don’t know about divorced parents but I do know about parents not paying for extras! Trust me, I hear about it all the time from my siblings…we can’t get or do xyz because Lima is in college. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not suffering, but my parents have had to give up some of the extras. I have also taken out a small student loan. I will graduate with 12,000 of debt. Big deal! If I can’t afford to pay that back after graduation then there is something wrong. I am not bothered at all by having to take out loans.</p>
<p>My question: did stepmom not think paying for college was going to be a burden (at all) for the family? Seems like junior doesn’t have a fat college savings account so stepmom must have known dad was on the hook to pay. I think it is kind of sad, the dad losing his good paying job but still trying to be a responsible father, and the new wife wanting him to pay his half of dinners out. What’s the point of being married if one person can’t step up and help out the other? I just keep thinking how po’d she is at not being able to go out to dinner as much–please!</p>
<p>^ What is your opinion about the son’s mother?</p>
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Not limabean, but OP did say that son and mom are putting the squeeze on dad for more than he can afford. Now, on the one hand, if stepmom is actually Donald Trump, then she should loosen up, but otherwise, it seems like son and the ex are not taking dad’s new unemployed circumstance into account.</p>
<p>Why is the stepmom on the hook to pay? I’m never fully understand that. I never expect anybody to pay my debt(not even my husband), expect somebody who is not related to you to pay your debt is beyond normal reasoning. If the dad has money then it’s another thing but he is unemployed, I don’t think my kids expect their dad to pay anything if he is unemployed.</p>
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<p>One other option for the student is to try for some co-op jobs (basically extended summer jobs or internships lasting a summer plus an adjacent fall or spring semester, whether or not the college has a formalized co-op program; if not, take a semester leave of absence when doing such a thing). Basically, take the co-op jobs as often as possible for as long as possible (maybe even longer than a semester leave of absence if the employer offers that and the school allows that) in order to save up money for college costs and/or try to reach age 24. However, it is quite late now to apply to one for the fall semester time frame, so the best realistic possibility of using this strategy is to try for co-ops that start in the spring. Of course, finding such co-op jobs is not guaranteed.</p>
<p>It does look like the original plans and expectations with respect to funding the student’s college were derailed by a combination of factors:</p>
<ul>
<li>Parents’ divorce – usually bad for both parents’ finances.</li>
<li>Father’s remarriage to the OP that results in less financial aid availability for the student.</li>
<li>Father’s job loss and subsequent diminished savings.</li>
<li>Of course, the divorced parents probably are not on the best of terms, so trying to squeeze each other for money is not surprising.</li>
</ul>
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<p>Retraining in community college is not that expensive, and if it allows him to take a significantly better job than he could get without (if he could get a job at all without retraining), it could very well make more sense than sporadic minimum-wage employment.</p>
<p>Dr Google, It doesn’t sound like the stepmom is on the hook at all. It sounds like dad is paying, he is able to pay AND pay his ‘half’ of their expenses BUT she is upset that she is picking up the tab for extras, like dinners out and is concerned about future repayments on loans-- although they will probably be no more per month than what he is contributing now so he’s likely to still be able to pay his half of household expenses. So that tells me dad has some sort of income-- investments perhaps? That said, financial aid takes stepparents’ incomes and assets into account just like the primary parents-- so the reality is the kid may be out financial aid because of the stepmom’s income and assets. </p>
<p>I went back and re-read the original post. It sounds like the man is paying half of their expenses and she doesn’t like that her money is going to extras and eating out-- not that she is paying for college. I don’t expect many extras during my kids’ college years and I will have over a dozen straight college years. I am over half-way through and have had no real vacations-- unless you include moving them in and out of dorms. There’s a whole history here and it’s hard to judge. There are factors like: how much income does the mom (and her dh if remarried) have? what did the parents agree to? were there savings for the boy? I do think the boy could take federal loans, but it seems to me only half would lower dad’s bill. At $7,500 for each of the final two years, that would be $3750 less that each parent would have to pay. That may be reasonable-- but who knows? We don’t have a lot of info. </p>
<p>“After he pays several hundred dollars a month to his son, my husband is just about able to squeak out his half of our expenses. I earn decent money, and it’s gotten to the point where I’m paying for all the extras we enjoy–dinners out and so on. It’s not really much, and I don’t want to be petty, but the situation is beginning to wear thin. I’m delighted for the boy, and happy that my husband is proud of him. But I have no interest in eating rice and beans for years to come so the kid can enjoy his engineering salary debt-free.”</p>
<p>There are a lot of good jobs that folks can get upon completing coursework at a local CC, some of which pay very well–Respiratory Therapists, Nurses, Paralegals, Mechanics, Auto Body Repair, Paramedics, Physical Therapy Assistants, and many, many more. </p>
<p>It’s not clear about the exact sequencing of the divorce, remarriage, layoff, and other factors, but things need to be examined as they are right now–finances available to all parties as well as the foreseeable costs. Our D’s coursework for 3 semesters of CC was about $2K/semester, including books–the biggest negative is that while going to school full-time in a rigorous program, it is difficult to also work, which adds to the opportunity cost of getting re-trained.</p>
<p>Anyone else noticed that OP has just made her initial post and one other around page 3 but otherwise been totally silent while this thread just keeps growing & growing? Obviously we all have a lot of feelings about education and funding. ;)</p>
<p>If your husband wants to eat rice and beans for a few years to help his son graduate debt-free, I admire your husband. You should eat whatever you want.</p>
<p>2college, it makes sense now. I don’t mind paying for food, it’s small money to me. I pay for my coworker sometimes who I know is short of money.</p>