Why am I not looking forward to going to my dream school?

Colleges and Universities A-Z College of William and Mary
1

I’m going to William and Mary this fall. More than anything, I want to be excited about my choice, full of school spirit, happy, etc. But for some reason I feel unsettled and even a little depressed. This doesn’t make sense: I’ve loved William and Mary for years, and I’ve always known I’d end up here, because it’s pretty much a perfect fit. The size, academics, and atmosphere are what I’ve always wanted in a college, and besides that, I won’t have any debt when I graduate.

What I’m feeling isn’t quite buyer’s remorse: I don’t regret choosing W&M or wish that I had picked another school from my options. William and Mary was the best choice! Instead, I keep thinking things that I have no control over, like that I should have done more planning in the application process so that I might’ve applied to different, better-matched schools. (I didn’t really have strong feelings about 2 or 3 of the 8 schools I applied to, and these past few months I’ve had time to reflect and now wish I had applied to some other schools that I just brushed off.) But this just makes me angry at myself, because I know that those schools would’ve been reaches anyways, and there’s no point to thinking such things. I’ve even thought about transferring to one of those schools, and I haven’t even started freshman year yet!! What’s wrong with me?!? I’m trying to reassure myself that I’ll have a great time at W&M, but nothing’s working. What happened to the love for my dream school?

It’s not as if I think I deserve to go to a “better” school; I didn’t get into the higher-tier schools that I applied to, and honestly, I highly doubt that applying to more/different schools would’ve produced a different result. William and Mary is a wonderful school and a great fit for me. My parents and friends agree, and I’ve always felt that way. It’s just that I suddenly have this gloomy and pessimistic attitude hanging over me that I want to get rid of.

I want to be excited for college like all my friends are; I want to be all “Go Tribe!” and have no regrets. I need advice on how to get hyped for W&M and how to get over all my qualms. If anyone has any tips on how I can just start looking forward to college instead of dwelling on the past or negative things, I would be really thankful.

2

This has an interesting perspective…https://grownandflown.com/college-myths-freshmen-need-know/

3

“William and Mary is a wonderful school and a great fit for me.”
“I suddenly have this gloomy and pessimistic attitude hanging over me”

I don’t think that W&M is the issue. There are several things that might be going on here:

One is that you are presumably a senior right at the end of your four years of high school. You have been working hard for four years, have made friends, have found you way around your school and community. Suddenly it is all ending. All that adrenaline that kept you studying and working hard for years is gone. There are seniors all around the US (and other countries) right now that are feeling a bit glum just because what they have been doing for so long has ended. Some amount of this is normal.

You may have a bit of “buyer’s remorse”. It is normal that when people make a major decision (such as where to go to university) they have doubts afterward. “Did I buy the right car”, “Did I buy the right house”, are the sorts of questions that people ask themselves.

It is possible that you might have a little bit of depression. Depression is very common, and might be slightly more common among very smart and high achieving people and probably slightly more common among teenagers.

Some amount of feeling a bit down about this is normal. Probably you need to mop around for a few days, then get yourself active doing things. Outdoor activities during the daylight hours can be quite helpful. Find something (perhaps a summer job) to do over the summer before you go to university.

If there are any “welcome” activities at W&M, and if you are able to attend, then this might be a good idea.

If this glum feeling persists for too long then you might want to see some sort of professional help, such as a psychologist. As I said, some amount of depression is common, and can vary from very short term feelings such as you described to more serious problems. Our medical profession has gotten a lot better at dealing with this over the past few years (something that is true of many other maladies as well, of course).

Finally, when you are at W&M in September, go to classes and pay attention, keep ahead of your work, get to know some new people (there will be LOTs of students your age who are also in a new place and don’t know people), and get involved in one or two activities that you like. There will be a lot of clubs and activities there. I think that you will find that you have in fact made an excellent choice by going to William and Mary. Once you are there I think that the excitement will come back.

“besides that, I won’t have any debt when I graduate.”

Sometime in the future, perhaps 4 or 5 or 6 years from now, you will discover that this is a big help to you.

4

Thank you @Patrick615, that was a reassuring article.

@DadTwoGirls, you’re right, W&M is certainly not the issue; I think it may also be the ending of the high school rush, as you mentioned. I will take your advice.

5

Some cliches: growing up is hard to do; love the one you’re with. Congrats on W&M. My friend’s daughter went there and loved it.

6

I don’t really have any advice to give, but it might be somewhat reassuring for you that except for the part where W&M is your dream school, this is literally my exact situation lol. Full ride, but what if I had applied to Duke, Vandy, Rice? Everything happens for a reason, I suppose.

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I sort of feel unsettled too. I nearly have a full ride (paying 1k a year) but its not the money. For some reason I feel a little down. (Going to WM this fall by the way)

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@PHY. I guess we’re not the only ones feeling this way. I’ve been feeling a little bit better since I’ve looked into some programs at WM that I might apply to, and also thanks to the help of the people on this thread. Thanks everyone

9

I think change is something that we are at the same time, both excited and scared.
My S1 is a rising senior in college and he was quite nervous about what comes next.
I recall myself years ago, the excitement of graduating college, yet the realization that what I had enjoyed
(other than the stressful papers, tests etc) was over and the unknown was next.

Normal to be happy and sad at once about leaving HS and entering any college.

As to W&M itself, no college is perfect. If you make some nice friends, join a club, and enjoy only SOME
of your classes, you will forget this feeling very fast.