<p>I'm sure plenty of you have read my UW incident. I've been considering appeal, but for the most part, I am probably going to go to a community college. I, for one, think it's totally fine (though it seemed most of you were under the assumption that I was utterly heartbroken and thought CC = poverty or something like that one user wrote when I had to consider going to a CC since I gave off the wrong impression, my bad). Most of my friends are going to be there, and it's only one year anyways before I can transfer into UW or maybe even a better college depending on how well I do there. +, I can get a job and take care of my mom and my siblings (not through my job lol, but with the free time I have). AND it's 2 minutes from my house.</p>
<p>The only problem I've been trying to accept but in vain is my PARENTS. My dad in particular. He looks down on me now. I tried my hardest in HS, and even if I made a few mistakes that led to a UW rejection letter, though I had all of the stats, ECs, etc., I don't regret how I did during my HS years. I'd think he of all people who understand me the most since he's the one telling me not to get stressed about all of this. Now he just went on and on over how my friends are going to "that" university and "that" really good college, and mad that I'm going to a CC. I understand the downside for him is that it's a bit humiliating for a person of his prestige to have a son going to a CC (he knows many friends that have kids going to Stanford, Harvard, yada yada yada), but...</p>
<p>can't he at least love me for who I am and not what college I end up going to? </p>
<p>I know I'm not the only one who has to deal with this sort of problem, but if you were in my shoes, what would you do? I can't talk with my father because he isn't home very often, and when I do have a chance, he's either sleeping, stressed out to even bother, or busy talking with my mom and working on finances. I can't even move out or anything because I'm only 17. </p>
<p>Looking at your stats, I think you <em>deserve</em> to go to a better place than community college. Tell your father that it's not that you're not good enough, it's a "serious of unfortunate events," or something like that. You're still worthwhile, and you'll still be somebody, and you would appreciate his support to get you through this time.</p>
<p>And start looking at transfers after a year... with a 3.7/1970, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you should be stuck at CC for two years.</p>
<p>A) Your father most likely does love you, but does not express it properly because of one of many, many reasons</p>
<p>B) Your father most likely is truly disappointed, aren't you?</p>
<p>C) You cannot do anything to control your father's behavior or opinions, but you can control yours</p>
<p>D) You can do your very best at the CC, transfer to a university, and have a happy, successful life as whatever. You can also go to a technical school and become a plumber or mason or contractor, etc and have a happy successful life. There are many paths to success and definitions of success. Just remember point C, you can't control your father's behavior or opinions - you actions may change his behavior or opinions, but even that isn't the same as controlling them.</p>
<p>E) Remember this, and don't repeat the mistake with your children. I don't want to analyze your father, I don't know him or you or anything about the situation. I do know though that one of the hardest things about parenting is handling the disappointments. Most parents want so much for their children, are so deeply invested in their children, that when a disappointment comes along, as it always will, they can find it very difficult to deal with it in a way that is best for the child. Also, most of us have a deep undercurrent of fear for the future for our children - we know sometimes how thin that edge is between being able to make a living and having some degree of financial stability, and being broke - kids often feel that they can live on nothing, they have all the confidence of youth - we parents tend to only see the possible bad outcomes.</p>
<p>You seem to have a good grasp on this situation and like you said you can alwasy tranfer later on.
If this was my parent, I would say screw them, love me or hate me. Certainly says a lot about him and his love for you if he looks down upon you just because of where you are going to college.
Remember, you are going to college for YOU, not them, to hell with what he thinks.</p>
<p>Read the thread on Andison...it will make you feel better</p>
<p>This kid was "perfect" for the schools he applied but not accepted anywhere...great kid, great apps, great ecs</p>
<p>he took a gap year, worked really hard, focused, volunteered, took classes, and this year, got into some great schools</p>
<p>it does happen with the right planning, right focus, and right attitude</p>
<p>all you can do now to deal with your dad is say, look, I am sorry I disappointed you, I am disappointed too, but all i can do at this point is work hard, plan well, take good classes, focus on the future, and here is my plan. I love you dad, and hope you still love me too.</p>
<p>Then stop. let it go. and show him what you can do by doing it. Let him see oyu have a goals, a mission in life...buckle down, and just let his words slide off your back and prove to him and to yourself you are worthy of his respect</p>
<p>This to shall pass, and focus on YOUR future....you can mmake it happen</p>
<p>Also, I heard on the radio yesterday that apps for some of the state schools - I think Eastern and Central - were way down this year. They each have some excellent programs, and may still have some openings. I have so many friends whose kids attend all the state U's in WA, and are having wondrful experiences. Hang in there, Choe. If you care enough to post on CC, then you care enough to take charge of your future, find a spot in college or comm. college, and make it happen for yourself. We believe you can do it!</p>
<p>If you are interested in convincing your dad that this is a good deal, you could try the following ideas:</p>
<p>CC classes tend to be much smaller than the introductory courses at state universities and have faculty who are focused on teaching rather than publishing their research. You are likely to get better attention here during the year or two you plan to attend the CC, and IMO CC instructors are generally better and more experienced than the harried, underpaid TAs who would be your main classroom contacts at the university's intro courses.</p>
<p>It's damn cheap. The student who attends a CC for two years and then transfers to a university will have the same college name on his resume as the student who paid for all four years at the institution.</p>
<p>There are practical courses available at the CC that may not be offered at your state universities. In my town the CC offers computer software and media technology courses that the university will not offer. I've heard that about a quarter of the students at our local CC already hold a 4-year university degree.</p>
<p>Personally I think one or two years of CC/small local college before transferring to a larger school is the perfect educational path for most students: the low-cost first year(s) are used for developing general reasoning/writing/math skills through individualized, one-on-one instruction, and helping the student transition into living away from home and completing college-level coursework without high academic or social pressure. The student then transfers to the university for specialized study not available at the CC.</p>
<p>is it more common to stay for two years, because I want to only stay for 1 year really before transferring...not only me, but my parents want me out too as fast as possible...</p>
<p>CC people are generally not that bright. THere are few geniuses, but very few. Even though I got in nowhere, I'm not going to a CC for transfering's sake. </p>
<p>SChoe101: no, you can stay for as short a time as you want (if you stay both years you save twice as much money).</p>
<p>If you are planning to transfer, though, carefully check the transfer requirements of the universities you eventually hope to enter. Sometimes they will not grant credit for particular CC classes, sometimes they will only count CC classes as elective credit rather than the major/gen ed requirements you thought you were fulfilling, and some elite universities won't transfer credit from CCs (or even other universities) either as official or unofficial policy (some schools say they accept transfers, but only actually take in 1% or so of the transfer applicants, etc.). So get a detailed idea of the next stage in the process before setting up next year's plans.</p>
<p>CityGirlsMom, wonderful post, nice advice. Schoe, your father's behaviour fits traditional Korean stereotype. Could I be wrong ? Don't answer if you don't want to though.</p>
<p>Is there an honors program at the CC? Some places have such things and I think you would qualify. It would improve your educational experience and give your father a dose of prestige, too!</p>
<p>I guess all you can do is say something like: "I understand you are frustrated with my application results. I am, too. But I'm not going to let this defeat me!"</p>
<p>Many schools are still taking applications, and some will be even into summer. Have you thought about submitting more applications? Of course, this route often requires you to go away to school, and may be expensive.</p>
<p>If you apply to UW, you won't be considered a transfer student unless you take more than 40 quarter credits. UW also prefers transfers who have an AA, although you can still get in if you do not.</p>
<p>Getting in without having fulfilled all the pre-recs for transfer (see transfer guide to UW) makes it a bit more difficult to get in, but it is do-able.</p>
<p>hey you're not alone. i'm going through the EXACTTT* same thing.. parents are asian if that has anything to do with it. i have slightly lower SATs and higher GPA but refuse to go to UCSD.. aiming for USC since it'll only take a year and other things but UCLA if i plan to go to CC for two.. which is prob not the case since i want to double major. anywho, in the long run i think going to a CC is better.. better grades, easier to transfer, save you money, spend more time with family before you go off, etc. it really sucks.. i worked really hard at a very competitive magnet HS and i don't regret anything because HS was a good experience for me. appealed to UCLA.. they messed up my GPA and USC.. 5% chance so i doubt it. just plan well and don't give up. don't worry about what other people think because maybe you'll be more successful than them in the future. you never know. pm me if you want. goodluck =)</p>