<p>It was going to be this hard??? Drive down took 20 hours but at least I got to spend that time with him. Move in went fine. DS had a lot less than most in the way of stuff. Did the Target run and bought a ton more stuff. Went to Full Moon, Mugshots, hung out in his room a bit. By Saturday afternoon it was time to go. That was hard. Cry, cry, cry, that’s all I did. I tried to control it because I didn’t want him to feel bad, but the thought of being 1200 miles away from him is just so hard. I know in my head that it is a great school, a great opportunity, but my heart is just breaking. I have never really been away from him for more than a week. I guess this will be an exercise in strength for all of us.</p>
<p>It is hard! But it is also right. He is fortunate to have a mom who will let him spread his wings in such a way. </p>
<p>I think it takes a while to get used to the new normal.</p>
<p>I agree that it was harder than expected … we had a 20 hour trip as well and I think I spent much of the way home wondering what in the world I had agreed to! </p>
<p>But DD is happy and excited, and I know the “new normal” will be good for all involved.</p>
<p>Roll Tide!</p>
<p>yes, it can be hard to have your child far away at school.</p>
<p>Thankfully with cell phones and skyping, it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be!</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>It will get better… :)</p>
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<p>So true. But also an opportunity to redefine ourselves and discover/create the next great adventure. </p>
<p>My guy leaves in four days for year three. In the time he’s been at 'Bama our relationship has only gotten stronger and closer.</p>
<p>It will get better. Enjoy the gift you have given your child.</p>
<p>Crying as I read this… I was fine when we said goodbye and I couldn’t believe that I didn’t even shed a tear. On the plane ride home, alone, the tears came and are still coming. Yesterday DD spent her first birthday ever alone. I think once this first week is under our collective belts, we will all be doing much better. Let’s all hang in there</p>
<p>The most difficult part of the process for me was the night before my son left.</p>
<p>For the last few weeks he’s been excited about leaving and focussing on gathering everything he was going to take and buying what he needed.</p>
<p>The night before he was leaving, he spent the evening with his girlfriend and one of his closest friends who he’s known for well over 10 years.</p>
<p>Then when he was supposed to be home to finish packing and loading his stuff, he stopped to get together with another group of his close friends, a couple of whom were also leaving for school on the 11th.</p>
<p>When I was still waiting for him at close to midnight, I texted to ask where he was, he called me and I could tell he’d be crying, which is rare for him. He came home shortly after that and curled up on the couch next to me and said, “Mommy, I decided I don’t want to go to college.” I knew he wasn’t completely serious, but it showed not only how hard it was for me, but how hard it was going to be for him.</p>
<p>Although we live in a rural area, our home is almost midway between two popular school choices for his classmates, so many are living at home and commuting the 30-40 miles to their school. The ones that are leaving home are only a couple hours away and can easily come home for weekend trips. Of all my son’s classmates, he is the only one that opted to leave the state to go to school. </p>
<p>Through his tears he asked how anyone could be excited about leaving for school when they were leaving all their friends behind.</p>
<p>I know this week he’ll be busy with OA, but since none of his roommates have moved in yet, in the evenings, I think he’s going to be spending his time texting his friends at home and calling his girlfriend and wishing he could just hop in his car to go see them.</p>
<p>I know once classes start and he meets new people that he’ll adjust, he managed to spend 6 weeks living abroad last summer, but this week is going to be a little difficult for him.</p>
<p>As a mom that wants to be able to ‘make everything all better’ and wish I could move all his friends to Bama with him so he could have the best of both worlds, I really wish he would have left with a smile on his face instead of already being homesick before he even pulled out of the driveway!</p>
<p>JRCSmom- my sons rm’s are not there yet either. And he was having trouble finding people to hang out with on Sat night. I think that having OA start will help them find others that are looking for people to hang out with.</p>
<p>I was in your shoes two years ago when my DD left for college. Brace yourselves because when they return to school after their first visit home it can be even harder to say goodbye. It was for me as I knew how much I was going to miss her. However, it will get easier, I promise. </p>
<p>We’re flying DS to Bama on Friday and he’s been spending many nights at home with the family over the past week. He NEVER stays home at night! I’ve been the very lucky recipient of numerous bear hugs and “I love you mom” comments, I think he’s trying to fill my maternal love tank. :)</p>
<p>His first buddy leaves on Wednesday and then he’s the second to go. I know that Wednesday and Thursday night will be rough. I’m trying to get him organized, make his favorite meals, and keep myself busy every minute so I don’t think too much about him leaving. I’ve been writing a letter to leave with him to read after DH and fly home on Sunday (did the same for my DD) and that has not been easy to get through. My DD cherished hers and told me that whenever she was doubting herself or missing home she’d read it and feel so much better. I hope he never feels like that but if he does I want him to have something to lift him up. </p>
<p>Like I told my DD and I’m telling my DS, every freshman on campus is feeling the same way you are, you’re not alone. The same goes for all of you amazing parents, you’re not alone.</p>
<p>We just arrived back home in PA… It was a long drive home without our S. I kept looking at the clock and imagining what he might be doing with AA. Sure wish I had a copy if their schedule. Anyhow, the hardest time for me was the morning before moving in to his dorm. The room was dark and everyone else was still asleep. I was thinking about what the day ahead held for us. We were so busy moving in that I didn’t have time to be sad. Then one of his roommates arrived and the guys hit it off well. We had a great time at dinner with the roommate’s family. With moving in going perfectly, and my son being so happy, it made saying good bye so much easier. I am so excited for my S - I sure hope the first day of AA went as well as move in did! :-).</p>
<p>ProudBamaMama - I posted the AA schedule in another thread. They go to the school in the morning, have a couple of hours free time in the afternoon, then dinner/lectures and optional activities in the evening.</p>
<p>Search for “optional activities” on here - that’s where the link to the schedule is.</p>
<p>I have to tell y’all that reading your posts makes me really sad for next year, I can only imagine how hard it is going to be to drop D’13 off. I keep thinking about all of those years she went to summer camp when she was little, how excited I would be at the new experiences ahead for her but no sooner than we would drop her off I was ready for her to be home again. I would typically cry on the way home…uh she was gone 1-3 weeks, what the heck will I do next summer when it is for an entire school yr!!</p>
<p>Well, for a different twist…I was doing the Happy Dance out of the dorm…starting to feel like a real witch. Not really.
I saw moms boohooing outside the dorm. I asked my 15yo daughter how that would make her feel. She said, it would make me sad to know that my mom is so sad.
I see it as a time to make a life really their own. I’m too excited to see where this journey takes her to be in mourning. My promise was to be there to support her any way that I can.
Otherwise, it’s a going to be a tough road for everyone, if we don’t let them know that we have full confidence in them and know that we, as parents, have a life outside of them.
Do i miss her? Of course. Do I sometimes call her name? Of course. (although it’s when I’m trying to get the dog’s attention and I run through the whole family list of names…)
It may be a whole other ballgame when the baby is flying the coop. I’ll have to report back then, probably through many tears 
Hang in there! Our kids just need to know that we love them but it’s time for their journey to begin and pray that we’ve done our jobs well.
Maybe Malanai can elaborate. My girlfriends who have sons are having a much more difficult time cutting the cord than those of my friends who have daughters. </p>
<p>However, I will say that I’ve already received notification of credit card charges ;/…she doesn’t even have a car at school. Ah, this is the joy of having girls, I suppose.</p>
<p>Roll Tide!</p>
<p>My wife is very depressed this week, and we don’t even move him in until Saturday!</p>
<p>I have to admit… I’ve been getting a little choked up myself.</p>
<p>(until he tells me “roll tide,” at which point I want to throw him out)</p>
<p>We’re two years in like Malanai. I think I was always more excited for D than sad about her leaving. </p>
<p>The hardest part was sitting on my hands and not texting her 10 times a day for updates. You want your kid to go have a great college experience, but you want to know/hear/see all about it, no? That’s what Facebook stalking is for Luckily, D is the type to take & share pictures. and M2K is right about skyping - its wonderful to see your kid even just on a computer screen.</p>
<p>Having said all that, I will be moving the baby out later this week. She’s going to one of our state schools. By next weekend I’ll be an empty nester and may be singing a different tune.</p>
<p>My advice is to do the drop-off + move-in as quickly as possible, and only bring 1 parent (no siblings) unless you have a super-duper Norman Rockwell-like functional family. I thank the stars that we had no room in the van for other family members - that would have been a disaster for our family relationships. I hadn’t planned on it being that way, but while we were moving in, he was getting a bit ugly w/ me about his room (and this would have been magnified had his sister been there, and the dad…puleeeezzzz)- he wanted my help, but didn’t want my help, if you know what I mean. So, I cut my visit shorter by a full day and checked out of hotel early. Son wanted me to linger, but I could tell that that would just not be a good plan, as with too much time on our hands (after the move-in decorating was complete), there really isn’t anything to do for control freaks like me except get in the way…and that was what could have turned things ugly. Upon departure, son told ME not to worry…that the radio would distract me for the 12 hour car journey, and that I would be ok. His display of empathy towards ME surprised me. And, he just called (no kidding, like, as I’m typing this) and said he is doing a load of laundry, as many things from AA got dirty already. Roll Tide!</p>
<p>Our D that we left in Alabama yesterday is our youngest and our only daughter. It does feel harder than when her brothers left, though whether it is the gender or the baby spot of the birth order, I don’t know. </p>
<p>I just briefly chatted with her and she mentioned not coming home at fall break because she is loving it so much. Not sure how much I like that idea, but didn’t let her know that. There is no rush as the tickets are on Southwest. And anyway, she is still in the honeymoon phase.</p>
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<p>Yeah, we’re empty nesters too. People are fond of saying to me, “Wow, it must be awfully quiet in your home.” </p>
<p>My stock response: “Au contraire.” :)</p>
<p>Roll Tide.</p>
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<p>same here. I wanted to make sure that he had things up and working before we left, like the new printer. Got lots of huff’s and puff’s about insisting on that. But we had to go get a printer cord to get it up and working. And a number of students had to use it because they did not have a cord, and can’t get the wireless printer to work over the wireless network. So hard not to say I told you so. </p>
<p>Only child, and I want to be part of his new life. It is so hard to step back.</p>
<p>It is so hard…DS’09 is in a college two hours away. But he still doesnt come home very often. DD’13 is definitely going OOS, and Alabama is one of her top contenders so she will likely be 6 hours away.</p>
<p>I KNOW it will be harder when she leaves because the nest will be empty and then DH and I will have to figure out what to talk about besides weather and dog…sigh. But then again he isnt home much, so I’m planning on doing MAJOR clearing out of house room by room!</p>
<p>I found this quote and I think it captures the feelings perfectly.</p>
<p>“The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.” – Erich Fromm</p>
<p>Virtual hugs to all!!</p>