<p>Can you guys plz comment on my short response? Thanks.</p>
<p>The first time I visited New York City, I was ten years old. To me, it was the most breath-taking sight I had ever seen. Seven years later, it still is. Columbia combines the best of the best of both worlds, a traditional, small college feeling in one of the largest cities in the world. But New York City is only the tip of the iceberg for me when it comes to Columbia. Columbia’s vigorous and vibrant curriculum is the epitome of what anyone, including myself, would want in liberal arts education, both intellectually and mentally challenging. I don’t just want to learn about life, but I also want to experience it, and Columbia’s vast array of programs, activities, and initiatives offer just that. The best aspect of Columbia, in my opinion; however, is its diversity. Columbia makes a true effort to bring in people of all backgrounds, races, religions, etc. to create a diverse culture in which everyone has a place. Columbia truly upholds its mission to form a diverse and global student body and faculty. Overall, Columbia University offers opportunities which I could not find anywhere else, from its unique core curriculum to its over 200 study abroad programs, and truly embodies what it means to be a global university in an international world.</p>
<p>I think the response is very generic. You might want to focus a bit on the more granular part. Else what you are saying is no different from any other large research university in a big city.</p>
<p>Although I’m definitely not an expert and just applied to Columbia for ED, I got lot of info from private univ counselors, admission-aiding company and others that it doesn’t make sense that a student who has no experience with Columbia university to write an essay about how vigorous academic curriculum Columbia offers, opportunities given by Columbia, and diversity in Columbia.</p>
<p>Like others have said, definitely generic and you could insert almost any other top university name into that. Also, not a good idea to post this so openly. You use too many commas and you also don’t use your semicolons correctly. You make your response sound more like an advertisement than something personal. Skip most of the common facts stuff and think about the personal reasons why YOU want to attend. Columbia isn’t the only school that offers things that you’ve listed, but think about at least one thing that it offers that you haven’t found anywhere else. Good luck!</p>
<p>Replace Columbia with UPenn or UChicago and the essay still works, so you’ve done something wrong. Very generic, nothing specific. You just combined a bunch of aphorisms with cliches and made a banal and generic essay. </p>
<p>I’m an ED applicant too, so I’m no expert, but what I did was to focus on one aspect and really go into it, instead of combining a bunch.</p>