<p>The road to ruin is not in a beer glass. I hope no one takes that from my comments.</p>
<p>But moderation and youth rarely have anything in common. I am 39 now, and I remember that the only reason we ever drank in college was to get drunk. I can remember one specific night when I got behind the wheel of my car, and knew in five minutes I was in no shape to drive. Thank God no one stepped out or pulled out in front of me.</p>
<p>How many times does this happen every weekend on our college campuses?</p>
<p>Besides, do you remember what a dorm hall smelled like on a Sunday morning after a party? Good night, that smell would knock a blow fly off a musk ox at 100 yards. Just one more reason.</p>
<p>scotaa, I did understand that substances when abused are bad. The cases you outline fit my definition of functional and health impairment. I ain't religious, and I do drink, so I am looking for any reasons to tell a kid not to drink if, <em>big if</em>, they show they are capable of keeping at a moderate level as barrons points out.</p>
<p>however some people cant deal with moderation
The problem is- how do you predict the 10 young adults who abuse alcohol- how many will still be abusing it in 10 years.</p>
<p>For whatever reason, genetic, behavioral, illness, environment, some are going to remain addicted, and part of their addiction is rationalizations
I am wondering what reasonal safety precautions would be to someone who is predisposed to addiction, like my own children.</p>
<p>You can't but that's part of living under a free society instead of the Nanny Society as the Seattle Weekly wrote about last week. If there is some proven pre-dispostion then a special case might be made for extra precautions. But studies have shown that the vast majority of even heavy college drinkers come out relatively fine and often drink less than their peers when they get older. The same can be said for driving and every other potentially dangerous activity--which is pretty much everything fun except reading and watching tv.</p>
<p>I guess the same could be said for promiscuous even agressive sex, for minor vandalism and property destruction, for all those "fun" things that college age adults sometimes particpate in.
We shouldn't discourage them just because some of them will end up, dead, damaged, & or with a criminal record.
Heck the vast majority will be "relatively" fine!</p>
<p>EK - Yes. This is also my issue. Mini has statistics...but I still don't grok them enough to answer your question below. Parenting and counseling extended family 18-year olds is really different than nursing and giving advice on sleepless nights...</p>
<p>
[quote]
however some people cant deal with moderation
The problem is- how do you predict the 10 young adults who abuse alcohol- how many will still be abusing it in 10 years.</p>
<p>For whatever reason, genetic, behavioral, illness, environment, some are going to remain addicted, and part of their addiction is rationalizations
I am wondering what reasonal safety precautions would be to someone who is predisposed to addiction, like my own children.
<p>Sure you can discourage them if you wish but don't get all preachy and hypocritical along the way. And don't be too shocked if they don't listen. I just HATE all these folks my age who did one thing and now act like only saintly activity is allowable. People get hurt every day climbing mountains, riding bikes and doing all sorts of things that I might find stupid and unnecessary but I just don't feel that powerful urge to be everyone's mommy.</p>
<p>barrons - in my day, students were not arrested and convicted of criminal charges (class one misdemeanors) for underage drinking......as they are in your state of VA. How many parents feel they should laugh off the college drinking issue when campus (state) police arrest students, bring them to jail and charge them wtih class one misdemeanors? It's one thing to be put on probation by your school and an very different thing to leave college with criminal convictions for misdemeanors.</p>
<p>I agree. Take the police out of the equation and leave it to college administrators who tsk-tsk minor offenders and give some unofficial help to those who really need it.</p>
<p>Well lets see. If a student doing community service down at the local homeless shelter were knofe by a homeless psychopath released from the local loony bin and gone off his meds that risky behavior would be applauded and noone would blame the state or account the victim a fool. But if a young man should have one too many in a convivial night out with his friends and get behind the wheel and run over the psychotic homeless person jaywalking or plow into a tree and kill himself we would hold him both a fool and criminally contemptible.</p>
<p>Not sure we can remove all risks from life or ought to, perhaps we ought to simply treat people as if they were responsible for their actions. Who knows they might actually act as if they were. Certainly trying to legislate morality has proved futile.</p>
<p>Um, I can't say that I understand this communication but I am commenting on the fact that VA criminalizes underage possession of alcohol (defined as in the veins and not technically in possession - assessed by bleary eyes, imbalance, etc) unlike 48 other states that treat it as a civil offense. Yes, you are right, we should hold everyone accountable, including the school officials that look the other way while freshmen are rush and provided with alcohol ON CAMPUS in the name of fraternities.</p>
<p>Sorry for the fast typing - rushed is what I meant to say. There is a huge difference between criminal and civial infractions. VA criminalizes drinking and that mistake will follow a student for the rest of their lives as opposed to a student from another state who just pays a civil fine and has no record.</p>
<p>How about re instituting the Selective Service, unisex. If you flunk out, 1A. This notion kept the substance abuse to a moderate level during my years amongst males, although I thought the ladies were going overboard on their libation, liberation.</p>
<p>Virginia has a lot of stupid laws. When I was in college they still had anti-miscegenation laws on the books. Imagine going through life with a conviction for that on your permanent record - I married someone.</p>
<p>The state of Virginia is overrun with meth labs and they are worries about some kid having a beer at a frat party. I think their cops ought to have better things to do.</p>
<p>I didn't. But there is something wrong some place. I think we either ought to raise the age of majority to 21 or lower it to 18 for everything. In theory you can't tell your 18 year old where they are going to go to school and the state will treat them as an adult for criminal prosecution and yet have different laws for adults under 21 and over 21. Pick an age and stick to it.</p>
<p>I did and believe me, son #2 is not going to VA. I guess this is one more question we parents need to ask on our college tours - what are the drinking laws and charges - but, then again, we don't believe our kids will ever drink, or get caught, while we are checking out programs and dorms and gyms and cafeterias!</p>