Why Swarthmore essay

<p>I have come tantalizingly close to the Pakistan border. But shoot-at-sight orders aren’t the kind of thing I mess around with. While I have stepped into Nepal, I don’t see the point when nobody even bothered a look at my passport. I haven’t seen much of the world, and I suffer from wanderlust.</p>

<p>I want to travel, and travel somewhere cold and mountainous. I always liked cold, and I fell in love with the mountains on a trip to Darjeeling. I have concluded that the Swiss Alps would be pretty hard to beat. The tragedy of my life is, you see, I have never seen snow, even though I love cold so. If four moths in a shack up on the Alps doesn’t satisfy my yearning for little white flakes, I don’t know what will.</p>

<p>I like rain almost as much as I like cold weather. But the Indian monsoons afford me enough of that. Hopeless as I would be bereft of that heady smell of water on dry earth, only my love of coffee exceeds my love of the cold and mountainous.</p>

<p>I want to travel the world and taste different coffee. Towards this noble venture, Brazil comes top on my list. As does the USA, for USA has Seattle, and Seattle is coffee and rain. I would throw in a lot of Europe and the Arab world as well. The Europe of the café, and Arabia for, well, awakening the world to the charms of Coffea arabica. Aside from the Madras filter coffee I favor, there is so much to flavor. How my passport longs to be stamped all over...</p>

<p>Right now, though, I would give anything, even those stamps on my passport, to spend my college life at Swarthmore. It’s cold and snowy in winters. Coffee at Kohlberg. As for the mountains, I’ll trade them for the gorgeous campus, the deliciously intense academics, and a zealous, intellectual community.</p>

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<p>I would appreciate your comments on this essay, and do tell me if it doesn't serve the purpose</p>

<p>It's a very nice essay. I was first wondering where you were going, but when I saw the conclusion, I was pretty amazed. Your essay is original and doesn't follow a boring format of "I want to go to Swarthmore because I like challenging work. The end." Very appealing.</p>

<p>haha
good work on recycling the coffee essay</p>

<p>Thanks, Cash'd. I wasn't sure if it would do the job, but I guess it does.</p>

<p>shhhhhhh, akash</p>

<p>Oh okay. For the record. I wrote it for the Princeton "What would you do given an year to spend as you wish." Please do not patronise and tell me how sad it is of me to recycle a "why" essay of all things. Coz ya know what? I really mean the last bit. I started with that. But I saw how I could tie it with my old one.</p>

<p>wow, great essay - it's nice to see a fellow paki applying to swarthmore...good luck!</p>

<p>Thanks, lisa. Indian, actually. Fellow desi, perhaps? :)</p>

<p>Hello Astrix,
Hmm. Well, in my opinion I think you could talk about Swarthmore a little more. You do describe what you like, and then in the last paragraph say you could find these things at Swarthmore, but you could find these things at any college. Just mentioning Swarthmore in one paragraph at the end, doesn't really do much. Do you have any other reasons besides coffee, a nice campus, and the weather?</p>

<p>You're right PlenaFidelis. I really should have more about why I like Swarthmore. I'll work on it.</p>

<p>I think it could work very well, or be a little awkward, depending upon the reader.</p>

<p>willywonka, I know it can be hard to say if the overall feel was like that, but perhaps you could point out the awkward parts? Or is it that I mention very little of Swarthmore</p>

<p>This doesn't tell me WHY you want to go to Swarthmore... so it's not really answering the question. You hint at it at the end, but there should be more emphasis on Swarthmore. It does kinda sound like a recycled essay. The first time I skimmed through the essay it seemed as if you wanted to go to Swarthmore because it was far away and would give you a chance to travel. I reread the end and realized there was more to it than that... but if it's even reasonably possible that the adcom would read it and think that maybe a rewrite would be a good idea? I strongly believe that if you can't write a good "Why [insert school name here]" for each school you apply to (even if the truth is that it's a strong school that fits you well and gives merit aid that you need) then maybe you shouldn't apply there. Swarthmore is a pretty unique place, so I think for them the "Why Swarthmore?" essays are VERY important. And although I now know you can write well and like to travel, I don't get a sense of why you're a good match for the school. </p>

<p>Now, granted, I could be totally wrong about everything above, as lowly college applicants we never know what or how the adcoms think. But my reasoning seems logical to me at least...</p>

<p>Thanks for your comments marlgirl, I'll rewrite it</p>

<p>Only take my advice (or anyone else's advice) if it intuitively makes sense to you. That's possibly the best advice you can give anyone in the college process with SO many people (for me at least) telling me SO many (and sometimes conflicting) things.</p>

<p>here's a tip. Take all you're why this college essays and replace it with its rival school. If it still ends up making sense dump the essay.</p>

<p>In this case, replacing Swarthmore with Haverford makes no change.</p>

<p>After given this tip I did it with all my essays, for Penn I used Princeton, for Columbia I used NYU, etc, and I was really surprised and I ended up writing whole new better essays.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>Astrix, as others told you before, don't recycle an essay for Princeton for Swarthmore. I know some of us are biased because we've seen this essay before. But Swarthmore is looking for fit in it's selection of student body more than any other college I know. It is an intense place and they want to know if you will fit in. Just saying you have wanderlust but finally want to settle into life at Swarthmore is not enough. You have to have one or two specific reasons why you want to come here and they must be articulated in your 'Why Swarthmore' essay. </p>

<p>I know lots of kids with stellar stats (top 5 among 750) and 1600 SATs getting rejected because they did not pay attention to the application package. Why do you want to study here? Is there a specific subject area that interests you? Is there something about the environment at Swat that interests you? Do you want to become somebody and the college will help you in that direction? Please be specific. The essay itself does not have to be extremely creative or anything. It must, however, be thoughtful.</p>

<p>As an example, it can be as specific as: if you are interested in Anthropology and want to do research in college as an undergrad and you know Swat will help you in that direction.
Or, you want to study Bio and know that the department is strong. You know some professors by their work.</p>

<p>Or, you are interested in social work and you know Swat is full of opportunities to do that.</p>

<p>I get your point, and I feel kind of stupid about that essay right now. It really doesn't say why I want to go to Swarthmore. I'm not even sure why. I just know I like the school. Anyway, I'll do my research. Thanks for all the help.</p>

<p>astrix, don't worry, my son was in the same situation last year and Swat was his last application and he was thinking of recycling his essays.</p>

<p>Since you live abroad, in order to get info, I suggest you look at the old CC (classic CC) website for information and ask here (see the thread 'what sets swarthmore apart') . Also if you go to the Swarthmore website, you will get a lot of info on the history and traditions of the college. You can look at the 'Meaning of Swarthmore' webpages here:
<a href="http://www.swarthmore.edu/news/meaning/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.swarthmore.edu/news/meaning/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Expect an essay from me the last week of December :) Gotta deal with my exams for now</p>

<p>lol astrix is Swarthmore ur 2nd choice? If so, wow, we both have the same (and the best) taste in colleges, lol. Pton ED, and then Swarthmore 2nd.
And yea, I second everything Marlgirl said exactly
G'luck on ur exams in the meantime</p>