<p>I've been reading college essay samples that were acclaimed by admissions as good or stellar essays. The thing is that all of them used exceptionally basic vocabulary. I understand that colleges don't want to read essays where it sounds like I ate my thesaurus, but wouldn't colleges also want to see evidence of strong literary ability? Although many of the essays I read were for schools like Stanford and Yale, the vocabulary displayed in them made them seem more like middle schoolers than soon-to-be college students. I'm confused. Why would such gifted students be writing with such a juvenile vocabulary? If I tuned in an essay to my AP Lit teacher with that weak of diction, I would receive a C or B.
Also, is there benefit in seeming so immature? Many of these "acclaimed" essays were also written about immature themes, like how the applicant's experience as a small child pretending to be a CIA agent shows their adventurous side, or their love of cross words keeps them up at night. I get that they want to be creative and individual, but most of what I read seemed unoriginal and clich</p>
<p>The essay US supposed to be in a conversational tone and the average person doesn’t use a particularly varied vocabulary in common speak.</p>
<p>Just write your essays in a style that feels comfortable to you. If that’s different than what you’ve read, that’s fine.</p>
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<p>The evidence of your strong literary ability is in your test scores and GPA. The essay is to personalize you and tell your story. For you, if your world consists of people chatting to each other in SAT words, then that may be unique – at least in terms of what admissions officers think (I happen to agree). </p>
<p>It’s their opportunity to have a peek into your mind and “character” not have you preen your best knowledge</p>
<p>It is my question too but I might be able to answer your question.</p>
<p>How many students use “plethora” “juggernaut” in their daily life? A college applicant isn’t writing an essay to win noble prize for literature. It is used for corroborating the personal qualities which teacher recommendation, counselor recommendation letters reveal.</p>
<p>Many students fail write a great essay because they think they must impress the admission committee. there are many admission officers in a university. Who can say what they want to hear? just say what you want to say. It doesn’t matter if you use words from first grade. because the words you say from heart, won’t be nearly good as the words which are artificial and arcane to you.</p>
<p>Write the first draft in own voice. after that, you can always use synonyms to make sure that there is common words in every paragraph. It is as simple as that. and you can use a word to express a phrase. It is as simple as that.</p>
<p>I’m a high school senior. In some ways I think the college admissions essay is basically just an exercise in narcissism and we’d be better off without it. Reading someone’s over-edited half-ghostwritten essay doesn’t really help you get to know them as a person anyway, but I don’t know what alternative system we could use.</p>
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<p>I don’t know where you get the idea that you have to use unnatural words to show literary ability. I would argue that you show your literary ability best when you use the simplest language possible to convey the idea you want. A big word is better than a small word only when it would convey more meaning, nuance, or beauty. If more “obscure” words come naturally to you in your speech, it’s more likely that they’d be okay to use because you’d know the connotations and you’d be using them correctly. (There are few true synonyms…every word has different connotations, and part of being fluent in a language is being aware of this.)</p>
<p>But if you find yourself looking up synonyms that “sound better” or something like that…stop. If you try to use words you don’t really know how to use, you’ll just end up sounding like an asshat. </p>
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<p>Read the writing of an actual middle-school student and you’ll see the difference. Maturity is more about the way you put words together than the specific words you choose. </p>
<p>Example: In one of my essays, I was originally using the word “rivulets” until I decided to say “little rivers” instead. They mean pretty much the same thing, but “little rivers” sounds more natural and it creates more of a picture in my mind.</p>
<p>I agree that a lot of the “acclaimed” essays are pretty bad, but it’s not because of the diction. </p>
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<p>More than I’d like, because “plethora” is trendy now for some reason. Please, for the love of God, don’t use it in your essays. (Same with myriad, cacophony, and arcane.)</p>
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<p>I got an A on every single pretentious piece of trash I turned in to my AP Lit teacher, and it doesn’t mean a thing. High school teachers reward BS in ways that colleges won’t.</p>
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<p>Out of curiosity, what would you consider to be a mature theme?</p>
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<p>I guess it’s telling lies in order to make oneself look like a prodigy.</p>
<p>Hmmm… I can understand your pessimism Halcyon. May I share my experience? I’m a 1st generation chinese immigrant. Parents were restaurant workers. Never knew a single person who attended a “prestigious” school. Went to a magnet school of a large urban school district. Did well academically and rose to a top leadership/influence position in my predominantly black HS. Had been accepted in Oct by my public flagship school that was tossing $ at me – this school was and is a coveted destination for many. Some buddies suggested I look “out east” just to see if anything would interest me. A few Ivies got my attn and got my applications. I also applied to 3 other engineering schools, just to see if their FinAid offers could best the one I had already. </p>
<p>When it came time to write my essays for the Ivies, I had never been coached before, never read a “college essay” book, didn’t have in-class assignments to practice write an entrance essay. Never showed them to any teacher, any adult or any peer. None. Nada. Zip. </p>
<p>I looked at the 2 prompts which were the same for all the Ivies at the time. A few yrs ago, i ran across my old essays.</p>
<p>The first topic: “Share about an EC” I wrote about a day when I had gone to a ensemble competition. We failed miserably. Reading it, I could definitely tell it was a 17 yr old telling a story. In the end, I’d say it was “meh”. Not terrible but nothing of note, IMHO.</p>
<p>The 2nd topic was completely open. Write about anything. I chose to write about something very important to who I was at that time. I had betrayed the trust of my best friend by revealing his sexual orientation. I wrote about how I felt about it and my journey to make amends. that was all. Looking at it decades later, I honestly was extremely proud of my words on that paper. Of all the things, THIS was the most important thing that I wanted to say about myself. There were no flowery words, no grand revelations, no AHA moments to propel me forward. It was a 17 year old, making connections with his bias and his heart to change and grow.</p>
<p>And I didn’t give a darn if people who read it liked it or not. There was no narcissism then for me. I grant you that for some, this becomes another brick in the wall. I think essay readers are looking for the sincere ones. I know I would be.</p>
<p>Ideally, a student’s essay should show the depth and complexity of his or her thoughts with examples, stories, concepts or ideas. The flow and tone of the piece should be engaging and it should hold the reader’s interest. It matters far less whether the essayist’s vocabulary is at a college level than it does that the student demonstrates specific qualities for which the adcom is looking.</p>
<p>I’ve gotta comment-</p>
<p>Heather, if I were a college admissions officer I’d love a kid who could use both the words “halcyon” and “asshat” without skipping a beat! ;)</p>
<p>When I applied to college a friend wrote a peer recommendation for me and used the word “persons” twice. While it was technically used correctly it sounded stilted and called attention to the recommendation itself as a piece of writing instead of showcasing me as the stellar applicant I was (ahem, slight sarcasm alert here). When she changed it to “people” the letter flowed much better. </p>
<p>As Halcyonheather notes, the use of more complex vocabulary can add nuance to an essay, and if a word is used naturally (for instance, “censorious” in the OP’s post) it can add, not detract from the writer’s work, but if the words used are too esoteric or the writing verbose it can be off-putting. There’s nothing more painful to read than an essay in which the author has strung together a series of five syllable words simply for the sake of wishing to appear erudite.</p>
<p>T264E- I’d love to read that essay. I’d bet it was wonderful.</p>
<p>To the OP: there is a difference between the writing level of a middle-school student and the reading level of such a student. I’m guessing that most adolescents could appreciate and understand a well-written college essay, but very few could write that well.</p>
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Oh, halcyonheather, if only you had been one of my students, I might never have given up teaching English!</p>
<p>(But I learned…shhh…teaching math is easier! It’s easier to prepare. It’s easier to write lesson plans. And even though it isn’t nearly as easy to grade as people think–no, it is not “just right or wrong”!–it beats the heck out of marking a whole stack of tenth-grade papers about Macbeth.)</p>
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<p>This, for example, is a perfect use of the rather uncomplicated word asshat.</p>
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<p>And now, I’m feeling a little sad to realize that I said these things for years, and virtually the only teen I’ve ever encountered who understands them was never even in my class! ;)</p>
<p>"How many students use “plethora” “juggernaut” in their daily life? "</p>
<p>All the ones that play Call of Duty Zombies ;)</p>
<p>Ovid may have said it best: little things please little minds. Language is a vehicle for communicating meaning, not an end in itself. If all you get from a piece of writing are a bunch of words and a childish plot, either there’s no meaning to be found or you simply missed it.</p>
<p>Wait, so we don’t have to use simple vocab? I just started my essays recently and found that I was going out of my way not to use words that I would normally write for an English/ Social Studies paper. If I can incorporate words naturally into my essay, then does it matter if they are sort of long? They aren’t words that any college reader would have to look up.</p>
<p>As I wrote that post I think my question was answered. I’ll try to err on the side of simplicity</p>
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<p>This one seemed to me like a “mature theme,” as they say on late-night cable TV. Not that I’m recommending it…<br>
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1408615-mentioning-having-sex-college-supplement-short-answer-question.html?highlight=essay+sex[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1408615-mentioning-having-sex-college-supplement-short-answer-question.html?highlight=essay+sex</a></p>
<p>^about the linked thread:</p>
<p>If there is a kid <18 in the admission room , then “oh my god, it’s 18+ essay.”</p>
<p>I think it makes a lot of sense that colleges can recognize those who are gifted writers vs. those who used a thesaurus to try and insert big words into sentences. Usually the result comes out clumsy and even when words have the same definition, they can’t always be used interchangeably as mentioned above.</p>
<p>Write your essay in your own style and toss the thesaurus in the trash.</p>
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<p>An example would help. It might not be as natural as you think. </p>
<p>Just because no one has to look up the word doesn’t mean it’s necessarily okay to use.
Be more conscious of your speech for a week or so…if at some point the word you want to use comes out of your mouth spontaneously and no one thinks it’s weird, it’s probably okay to use in your essay.</p>
<p>A good writer can convey their thoughts with simple words.</p>