I’m not sure how my guidance counselor feels about me, but its definitely leaning more towards the negative side than how she feels about all the other students she has. You know things are bad when your guidance counselor with like 400+ students (100 from each grade) somehow knows your name…
We got into an argument my sophomore year about class scheduling. I’d rather not go into details because it was embarrassing, but tears were shed and I almost died of shame.
However, since then, our relationship has been steadily growing. However beginning of junior year, I had more scheduling conflicts. I’m not pushing the blame on someone else, but they truly weren’t my fault and all these different teachers kept changing things on me and telling me to deliver messages to my counselor. I ended up having to talk to my counselor like 10 times in 5 days and I could tell she was clearly annoyed with me.
She now knows my name. Which would sound great, but its actually awful because she also knows the names of all the delinquents. Which puts me on her list of naughty kids.
Letter of rec time is here and I’m worried sick that she might check the “low maturity” box cause she saw me cry once. Or that she might write negative comments about me, since I annoyed her a lot in the past.
I’ve considered trying to talk to her, but if she wasn’t planning on writing me a negative rec in the first place, it may prompt her to change her mind.
I really don’t mind if I get a generic letter of rec bc thats typical for a public school, but does anyone think she’d hold my past against me and write a purposefully negative and hurtful letter? I’m scared because I dream big and the prospect of having someone who barely knows me tear those away is frightening.
What do guidance counsellor letters usually contain? Is it personal experiences and opinions of the kids? or is it just your transcript, a brief overview of the school, and a measure of how rigorous your course schedule was?
Thanks for the responses!
@yazylovescheese - is there anything you can do about it? Perhaps talk directly with her and sort things out, instead of leaving it to speculation?
@MedSciBud I totally would, but I’ve kinda waited too long. If I walk up to her now and say “sorry I cried 2 years ago when I first met you!” I would just be reminding her of a bad day that she possibly could have forgotten. That’s my dilemma, because I’d love to apologize, but it happened so long ago, I don’t want to remind her of something bad about me she witnessed.
@yazylovescheese - understand your predicament, but you don’t need to apologize or bring back old memories. How about scheduling an appointment to go over your brag sheet or something? How about telling her how important her rec is to your future? Just some of my thoughts. Good luck with everything.
@MedSciBud Thank you for the response! We kinda had a day like this at our school where kids one by one talked to their counselors about their achievements. Also, in your opinion do you think she’ll write me a negative/neutral/positive response?
@yazylovescheese - I wish I knew the answer. But most GCs are not vindictive and know that the student’s future is at stake. I still think a meeting will help you, but that’s upto you to decide. Good luck.
No counselor is allowed to write false information about you unless you actually have done something wrong in the past such as getting a referral, suspension, detention, etc. However, it is possible that the counselor may not put much effort into the writing and write a solid recommendation letter on your behalf. If you do not have such history, then you should not worry about counselor recommendation.
@MedSciBud Thank you for the help! @HardOREasy I don’t have any major academic record blemishes (thank goodness), however the common app does ask counselors to rate their student’s qualities like “maturity” and was wondering if I would get dinged in that category for crying? Idk I just cry a lot because I can’t help it when I’m upset or scared, I guess that makes me immature.
I think it is pretty normal for 15 year olds to cry when they are frustrated. I am sure you aren’t the only one who has ever cried when trying to sort out scheduling issues. I would try to meet with her to make sure but I bet that it is a bigger deal in your mind than it is in your GCs mind.
Your GC WANTS you to be accepted to your colleges. It’s good for the school. Please stop,stressing. It would be very unprofessional for the GC to write anything negative. In all likelihood, if anything, the GC will write soemthing neutral, which isn’t bad. Colleges realize GCs often have hundreds of students to deal with and don’t know most of them well, if at all. They will not hold it against you if a GC writes a neutral rec. Please relax.
Crying once, two years ago? And in the meantime, you’ve taken on the right challenges (beyond academics,) and proven your mettle? If so, adcoms will see that.
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Closing thread; we’ve exhausted this conversation.