Will someone please rate this essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>I did this under timed conditions, etc. Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Prompt: Can knowledge be a burden?</p>

<p>Knowledge can cause one to have many burdens despite its benefits. Many examples from history and literature support this, as knowledge of some events, even if accidentally gained, can cause the “learner” of such knowledge much pain and distress.
Take for the example the tragic story of Oedipus Rex. The old King is told a prophecy that his son will eventually end up killing him and marrying his own mother. Fearful of the consequences, he ordered his newborn son to be cast away into a nearby river. As fate would have it, this son would be rescued and eventually grow into an astute and intrepid athlete. At a sporting event, which his father also happened to be attending, he threw his discus so far it flew into the stands, killing none other than his father. Weeping at this loss, the widowed queen only had her problems worsened when a Sphinx appeared at the only mountain pass in and out of the city, killing any that could not answer its riddles. The queen offered her own hand in marriage to any soul who could defeat the beast, and lo and behold, the young son, Oedipus, managed to answer the Sphinx’s questions correctly, freeing the town and winning the queen’s favor, fulfilling the terrible prophecy. Trying in vain on behalf of the queen to find out the killer of her husband, young Oedipus discovered the curse cast upon his family, and realized that he had fulfilled it. With this pain in his heart and knowledge in his soul, he blinded himself and spent the rest of his life a wandering vagabond in Greece. Upon realizing this truth, Oedipus’s mother and queen committed suicide, having birthed several children with him. And thus a terrible tragedy ended.
The story of Oedipus Rex is a story of knowing too much: if only the old King hadn’t heard of the prophecy and put things in motion and banished the young infant, if only Oedipus had known he was to marry his mother, if only they had discovered Odeipus was the son of the King just killed – the story tells and reprimands those who try to escape from the burden of knowledge: perhaps inevitable, but always present.</p>

2

<p>10 or 11 . Good example that supports your argument & great writing style. I wouldn’t be surprised if you got a 12 nor would I if you got a 10.</p>

3

<p>I’d probably go with a 10 based on the quality itself. Things to think about: Will this essay take up the full two pages? (readers tend to like that) I’m not sure how they will feel about only one body paragraph. Oedipus Rex is a fairly common piece and, unless there are different version, this sounds more like Perseus and his grandfather Acrisius. Oedipus killed his father and several of his men by sword at a crossroads in Phocis. Also, Oedipus’ feet were impaled thus the name Oedipus (swollen feet) and he was saved by a shepherd who was supposed to kill him. I feel like you could have used only Oedipus Rex as a source, but used 2 body paragraphs (1 for Laius’ prophecy and 1 for Oedipus’). These errors and lack of length could result in a lower score.</p>

4

<p>10 max. You are too wrapped up in the story itself and not fully Analysed the consequences of knowing to much. it would also be useful to throw in the word knowledge here and there. Good luck.</p>

5

<p>Thanks for all of the input guys! I really appreciate it.</p>