Will Someone read my essay?

<p>Hey,</p>

<p>I wrote this essay last year for a summer program. I'm really kind of torn about it. I'm not in love with it, but at the same time I'm not really sure what's wrong with as it's original and for the most part pretty grammatically sound. Any opinions on it would be really awesome! Just pm if you want to read and give me some feedback</p>

<p>ill read it</p>

<p>anyone else?</p>