Winter term abroad student communication

<p>I was hoping to vent a little and get support from some current parents. S is on winter term course in New Zealand. I know he is fine and well instructed by great professors, but am I silly to want some kind of communication from S?</p>

<p>It is so different nowadays communicating while traveling. Our phone (tmobile) plan allows free texting, email, data, Facebook to most countries. Would it be so wrong for S to text having a great time, or caving was cool, or sky diving was awesome-no bones broken? I am not looking for long letters, massive amounts of texts, just a few that tells us what he is doing with some kind of appreciation that he is able to do this. If this were last year when this phone plan didn't exist my expectations would have been adjusted. Yes, S knows that his plan allows all the free stuff. </p>

<p>If you have had a child on a winter term course (semester abroad is quite different) have you communicated and if so how? If you had this kind of free plan, would your child communicate with you? </p>

<p>Thanks for letting me vent and for your thoughts and support.</p>

<p>Hello,
I am not a parent but as a student all I can say is that ssometimes we get ssoo busy and worked up in our own world tthat we forget to message our loved ones.
Trust me, I always have my family in my mind but for some reason or the other we dont communicate that much but I do talk/text atleast once in a day…
You should call him/text him and ask if ur worried… I am sure he must be thinking about u as well…</p>

<p>Every kid is different and every family dynamic is different, but FWIW my S would not be proactive with the communications. In fact, it would not be surprising if, left to his own devices, he didn’t touch base at all during the 3 weeks! Not that I would be ok with that, but i know it could happen if i didn’t insist otherwise or reach out myself. Busy-ness, too tired to converse at the right time, not wanting to answer detail questions, unable to muster the expected enthusiasm for each each activity or the experience as a whole, or just not wanting to “leave” the current place to engage with home are all reasons that some teens away don’t communicate to the degree we parents would like. </p>

<p>We have taught our 2 kids to be independent, so for us it would be normal and expected that we didn’t receive daily communications, no matter how convenient and easy to do via cell phone. Other kids and parents communicate once or more per day always, and can’t even fathom how that wouldn’t happen. But do remember that in our day, we would NEVER call home daily from college, or even weekly from abroad (we would send letters from overseas), and it was fine - and even good - for both parties. Just because a child has a cell package doesn’t mean they should use it every day. YMMV, of course!</p>

<p>Great answer Embracethemess; I think you nailed it. Our family is very similar. </p>

<p>Samtalya, I totally get it; that letting go process is so hard for us moms! And, you are not alone. Most parents I know whose kids have studied abroad didn’t hear much from them (except, notably, the ones who were having a miserable time). </p>

<p>Our son studied/traveled abroad a few summers ago and he rarely communicated with us. He had warned me beforehand that he wouldn’t and not to take it personally; that he planned to immerse himself and have his full attention in that once-in-a-lifetime experience. He did do a sporadic blog which helped, and if I texted him he would usually answer with a short “doing great” kind of message, but I really made a point to not inject myself in his experience too much. And, as tough as it was, that’s really what I wanted for him. He had a fantastic trip, and we did get to hear a lot of his stories later. Maybe see if he’s willing to agree to a long Skype session after he gets back so he can tell you everything? In the meantime, hang in there!</p>

<p>I had a similar feeling of disappointment/annoyance last summer when my 16 year old son was in Europe for 3 weeks. Nary a word, except for when he was about to board his flight over. Fortunately, other relatives who were with him kept me abreast of the goings on, emailed some pics, etc. I’m not sure my son even checked his email, let alone responded to any, lol.</p>

<p>During the days of early high school carpooling, I noticed vast differences amongst my kids’ friends regarding how frequently they text/call their parents. Some would text or call a parent immediately after getting in my car, to let them know they’d been picked up, were on their way, etc. Others (mine), nothing, unless I texted in all caps WHERE ARE YOU?? or ARE YOU OK??</p>

<p>My D11 is currently in Italy for the spring semester - we are communicating via Skype, Whatsapp and Viber - all of which are Wifi enabled. I specifically asked her to just send a txt at least 3x per week that says - I’m OK - for safety reasons. Other than that I am leaving it up to her to decide when to communicate.</p>

<p>My D1 just landed in Istanbul for winter term honors fellows trip to Turkey. Got a text a few hours ago that she just landed.</p>

<p>Lucky for me that she is a great communicator. She checked with ATT before she left and signed up for some international texts, data and phone minutes. She checked and her hotels will all have Wifi for Skype, etc…</p>

<p>Perhaps a stern text to your son to at least text you every other day is in order. I have to remind my son of this regularly.</p>

<p>My son will message me on FB–or at least answer when I message him. Works anywhere there is wifi, and right now he’s in London. Did the same last wt when he was in turkey and Greece.</p>

<p>Go to Elon’s website and in the search box at the upper right, type in “blog” followed by the name of your son’s study abroad class. Then hit search. I think most classes have a blog that they maintain almost daily. Your S might not be the writer but at least you’ll see what they’re up to.</p>

<p>Thanks laf, I will ck. Out of the blue, he is texting today. Not sure if it is a coverage issue or he is sticking to one week with no communication. I am not asking. He is having a great time.</p>

<p>Glad to hear it!</p>

<p>Glad to hear he’s been in contact.</p>

<p>FB chat has been great for us along with face time calls with no video. Her hotels all have Wifi. She just replies when she is connected and back at the hotel.</p>

<p>The blog has been very nice to read about their days.</p>

<p>That is wonderful that your d’s course has a blog, not my son’s. He would never skype or face time. Doesn’t at school. </p>

<p>We had a tough time freshmen year establishing a system of communication that works for both of us, but this year has been great. I guess he doesn’t feel we are taking away his independence. It’s just nice to hear about his successes and experiences. </p>

<p>I have heard from him a little more. I got a “yup”, when I asked him if he was having a good time! He texted his sister. I am sure all is great, it’s just nice to hear. As I said in op, if we didn’t have this plan, I would have no expectations. At this point as long as he texts after bungee jumping and sky diving I will be happy. </p>

<p>Thanks all for your support</p>

<p>LOL!!</p>

<p>Yes, a text after sky diving is a must!!</p>

<p>S been back for 3 days and today headed back to Elon. An amazing course! He had a great time and memories to last a lifetime.</p>