<p>Isn’t there an obvious compromise? You withdraw from your current semester on medical grounds, and you DO NOT plan on applying anywhere else, for the spring or for next fall. For the time being, your commitment is to return to the college your parents like, and you should do everything you can to make certain that path is open. </p>
<p>Go home to get better, but keep an open mind about where you finish college, because, as blossom said, it is very unlikely that distance alone is actually causing your problems. It may be easier to deal with your illness at home, but when you get it under control, your best option may very well be returning to college where you started. Or maybe not – that’s something you will undoubtedly explore with a therapist in the course of getting treatment. And when you do that, you will be able to involve your parents in the discussion, and they won’t be reacting to decisions you are making while sick and far away, and there will be more time to figure out what to do.</p>
<p>From your parents’ standpoint, all of this probably looks like you staging a tantrum to get what you wanted in the first place. So take that off the table for the time being, and see if the battle lines don’t relax a little.</p>
<p>Maybe this isn’t so popular but why do you want to come home right now? Is there a relationship that you want to get back to? You do know that your hometown is not going to be the same, ever. I understand that you want to transfer to your home university, but I wonder if it is because you need to be closer to a girlfriend/boyfriend and this is what is driving this in some part. </p>
<p>Also and maybe I’m wrong but if you withdraw and come home now you will lose your first semester tuition. From what you’ve said, your parents would be losing approx 17,000 dollars. Also by transferring they will be incurring more expenses moving you to a new place. </p>
<p>I’m not saying that this is what happening, I’m just trying to put myself in your parents place. </p>
<p>Every year there are posts from parents that their kids are unhappy/want to come home for many reasons. There is lots of advice that the kids should stick it out for a year and see what happens. There was one child who wanted to leave her Ivy League school and the parents here had a hard time believing why she would want to leave/transfer.</p>
<p>Sam, I am sorry you are going through all of this. You are expending a great deal of energy trying to fix a difficult situation. First and most important is your health. Do you think it would be possible for your parents to come to your school and visit with you and the counselors there - and perhaps your advisor. I know the counselors have spoken with your parents but perhaps when they see you, they will have a clearer understanding of your needs.
Try to remember that you don’t have to fix everything now. You just need to decide the best option for this semester and go from there. The rest will come with time. I wish you the very best.</p>
<p>Sam,
I have no magical words of wisdom for you right now. I just want to give you a virtual hug. There are no easy solutions and it sounds like culture shock to me. Can you just do one moment at a time and find some friends who have local families that may be able to give you some family time? If you were mine, I would allow a transfer without any issues… You are being reasonable and rational, but know that in your current state, staying the course may be best until the end of the term. Culture shock is real. Are there any things about your surroundings that remind you of home? Cultural districts, restaurants, school groups? I wish I could put you in the Holodeck for awhile to reset your mindset. (If you are not a Star Trek fan… this reference may be foreign). Hugs my friend. I wish I could bring you home for some TLC. Hold on and you will make it.</p>
<p>Sam,
I have no magical words of wisdom for you right now. I just want to give you a virtual hug. There are no easy solutions and it sounds like culture shock to me. Can you just do one moment at a time and find some friends who have local families that may be able to give you some family time? If you were mine, I would allow a transfer without any issues… You are being reasonable and rational, but know that in your current state, staying the course may be best until the end of the term. Culture shock is real. Are there any things about your surroundings that remind you of home? Cultural districts, restaurants, school groups? I wish I could put you in the Holodeck for awhile to reset your mindset. (If you are not a Star Trek fan… this reference may be foreign). Hugs my friend. I wish I could bring you home for some TLC. Hold on and you will make it.</p>
<p>“The distance has taken an extreme toll on me and has caused depression and severe anxiety to the point where I feel like I can’t go on anymore.”</p>
<p>How has the distance taken an extreme toll on you? Whether you’re attending a school a four hour drive away from home or a four hour flight away from home, you’re still away from home. Do you know what I mean? </p>
<p>Is the problem your grades? Have you not performed as well as you had hoped in your academic classes? Do you have an issue with your roommate? Have you not yet found the right balance between socializing and keeping up with your academics?</p>
<p>Dig deep and be honest with yourself regarding what the real issue is with your college environment. Is it the academics? Is it the dorm life? Is it…? </p>
<p>Rather than focus on the distance from home, focus on what you can control. Go to class. Keep up with your academics. Get some exercise and fresh air. Go to the counseling center. Get some sleep and make healthy eating choices. Engage in conversation with some of your dorm mates. Focus on the small joys in each and every day.</p>