I struggled a lot with my transfer essay because of the word limit. I’m trying to start with a personal narrative to explain my high school situation but I just can’t seem to get my point across in the word limit. An editor told me that I need to include more details and be more specific but I can’t seem to fit it all in. Any tips?
This reminds me of the famous line by Blaise Pascal: “I have made this longer than usual because I have not had time to make it shorter.”
Find a new editor. Unfortunately you have to stay in the word limit— like everyone else. How far over the word limit are you?
If i had about 80 more words i think i could fit it all in
@EPICBOYXP Print it out and edit with a pen or pencil. It can be more efficient to edit the old fashioned way than on screen. You could also try reading it out loud to figure out what could be cut.
Also if you are applying to transfer, you probably want to emphasize how you’ve succeeded at the college level more than try to explain what happened in HS.
Your list of transfer choices seems pretty selective. I don’t know how difficult it is for international students to transfer, but I think transferring to an Ivy as a 1st semester freshman will be a challenge. What is it about your high school situation that you’re trying to explain? Maybe you don’t need all the details.
If you PM your essay to me, I will make some suggestions.
Then you need a new editor.
You’re transferring from one college to another, right? Personally, they are probabalynot terribly interested in your high school situation. You’re in college now. Choose a different topic. And your editor is wrong.
@skieurope- see post # 2 (first sentence).
@EPICBOYXP - So you need to eliminate 80 or so words. Make every word count. Start by getting rid of fluff words— adjective and adverbs that add nothing to your story. An I agree with those who say focus on what you have done since HS, not in HS, unless something was so incredible it will wow the reader. Even then, mention it as it relates to how you made a difference since that time.
Your essay needs to be relevant. You aren’t writing a bio. I doubt this “editor” knows what the colleges want to see.
And, if you think you’re Ivy transfer quality, you shouldn’t need a forum stranger to tell you what’s needed or help you rewrite.
You should think of this from the point of view of the admissions officer. They are seeing a huge number of applications, and they need to quickly understand what is relevant in each. Re-read your essays asking yourself the question: Do they really need all of this detail? For every sentence, for every phrase, for every adjective, do they really need to know this?
Agree that writing about/making excuses about high school is unlikely going to result in a successful essay. I will be kinder on your current editor in agreeing that in a word limit situation that you should be more specific in the topics you cover (in facts, whys and hows, not in fluff words), but you need to be more limited in the topics you cover. Don’t write about 6 things when 3 are clearly more important.
In one of OP’s earlier threads, the editing service is mentioned. Any professional editing service should be able to help refine one’s essay. OP: Are you still using the same editor/editing service ?
Lol, so much for editing services, eh?
Often, changing word order can reduce word count.
As others have recommended, focus on unnecessary words. They may be words you don’t often consider unnecessary; at times, for instance, the words “the” and “that” are superfluous.
My favorite writing coach is Roy Peter Clark, formerly of the Poynter Institute. He has authored a number of fantastic guides, one of which is titled “How to Write Short.” It’s not terribly long, and is split into short “lessons.” I highly recommend it, and will predict that one read-through will give you the tools to get your word count below the required threshold. Good luck!
Chop, chop, chop. Make every single word count. If you do you will further explain your topic without filler words. You must stay within the word requirements as sometimes they truncate it , sometimes you get away with it and sometimes they out and out reject the essay. You will not know, so if the school is important stay within the limitations. Get someone to edit it with the intent to cut. It will sound even better the more you do it
If your “editing service” isn’t very familiar with college essays, drop them like a hot potato. They are doing you a disservice.