I am a very low income student who comes from an unsupportive single parent household. Lately i’ve been experiencing deep sadness and jealousy towards my high achieving high income peers. Is it normal for me to feel this way? I put a lot of effort into my school work, but still I feel that it doesn’t amount to what they do and achieve. I can’t help comparing myself. Is there any advice for me?
Keep at it and focus on yourself and your goals. Your road may be longer and harder, but take some time to celebrate your small wins along the way. Be kind to yourself and patient but also work hard and steady. Seek out mentors in your school and community. They can help you work smarter and avoid pitfalls. Be happy for others as well – a positive outlook will help you more in the long run by helping you become a person others want to be around. Deep breaths. I know it can be hard.
Also on the practical advice front, take advantage of free programming your school might offer. For example, if your teachers provide before or after school tutoring, go, and take their advice. Free SAT/ACT prep classes? Go! Church sponsored trips to colleges? Go! Evening programs on applying to college? Library evening programs? College recruiting fairs? Go! There are adults looking to help motivated students get a leg up. Sometimes it takes trying out several things to cobble together a non-family support system.
I’m sorry, OP, that sounds hard, and feeling bitter isn’t something anyone sets out to do. Definitely reach out for support. You might also want to look at programs like Posse, Questbridge, JCKF, etc. that recognize your effort and want you to succeed because of it.
This sounds hokey, but try starting your day with a brief meditation on what you want from the day in front of you, and end each day with a brief meditation on something great you did or are. This can help you focus on your achievement without comparing yourself to others.
Hang in there and be kind to yourself.
I don’t feel bitter. I guess what I should have said was envious instead of jealous. My academic standings are exceptional for someone with my circumstances, but still aren’t as high as my peers. I’m envious of higher income students who take advantage of their privilege and resources, but for me and other students like me there comes a point in our lives when the hard realization that the environment into which we born does affect us and what’s hard for me is that no one can control what life god gives to each and every of us. Some more comfortable and some less.I wish other underprivileged students could understand that they we are not stupid, but that we don’t come from environments where excellence is expected and that we have to strive for our own motivation and enlightenment. It will take us longer than our peers because we have to be our own support system. Many kids at my high school have given up, but i’m still trudging on. I’m sorry i’m just rambling off my thoughts. Thank you for your reply.
I think it is normal to feel envious but I want you to take that energy and turn it into continuing to do the best you can and continue on your own journey. Remember “eyes on the prize”. You are here on CC and will get lots of great advice. Just focus on you and your circumstances and how you can improve your path. It sounds like you have a great amount of resilience and it will make you successful and take you very far. Please share with us your year and interests so we can provide more information. The other thing I will say is that if you are feeling this way in high school it may be even worst in college where there will be even more high income high achieving students so best to take control of these feelings now. Please continue to hang in there and I know your circumstances can only get better!
Freaky…my mom said those exact words to me a while back. Don’t feel negative about this reality. Use these feelings as motivation to prove people wrong about what you can accomplish.
When you ignore everyone else, it’s easier to appreciate and congratulate yourself. You have worked yourself to the bone and it’s high time you gave yourself the recognition you deserve.
OP, I see that you previously posted a thread that is somewhat similar. I’m wondering if you may be fighting depression along with everything else you are up against. Have you sought out any counseling? Honestly, you might benefit greatly from that.
In the other thread, folks suggested that you look up Khan Academy’s test prep materials. Have you done that? It looks like your GPA is great. Some hard work at test prep for the SAT would be beneficial. Is that doable?
Many colleges are aware of these differences and take your context into consideration when judging your application. So, for admissions purposes you may not be as disadvantaged as you might think. Definitely, take advantage of programs and resources available to low income students. Fee waivers, need-based financial aid and scholarships, Khan Academy, the public library, Questbridge, etc. Does your school have Avid? Google and ask your counselor about local resources. Consider a part time job.
I have a job.
What an honest assessment of your feelings. It takes great incite to be able to articulate those feelings. As for the more affluent, supported students with whom you interact, don’t be envious. With the affluence comes pressure, too. Money truly does not buy happiness. It may make some things easier to navigate, but it does not remove obstacles in every instance.
What looks like a lack of support today, and a daily struggle, will soon turn into self sufficiency and keen determination on display. The student who has to find his own scholarship by researching becomes more resilient. The student who finds a way to get help with coursework when needed also becomes the tutor to the next student who comes along and has little to no parental guidance. When I was in high school, my softball coach called me a “diamond” who just needed some assistance for her inner beauty to shine through. My advice to you is to stay the course. You have not completed your journey. You, too, will soon discover your brilliance. Today, you do not know how many people respect your hard work and perservererance. Give it a little more time. You’ll see that people already appreciate and marvel at your accomplishments.
Here is a poem by Langston Hughes. I hope you find the inspiration he hoped you’d experience:
Mother to Son Related Poem Content Details
BY LANGSTON HUGHES
Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps
’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
Another vote for the “try to stay focused on yourself, your accomplishments and your goals”. We’ve seen lots of students struggle with disappointment about their results. Don’t compare. Just do your best and keep trying.
Gotta say, as the queen of typos, this one
made me smile.