I’m in grade 11 and facing the reality that soon I’ll be leaving high school and going to college (I know there’s still a year and a bit but you have to do applications pretty early on in grade 12 so) and it’s pretty terrifying. I mean, the thought of having more freedom is kind of nice, but I’m really worried. About a lot of things, really. Specifically the fact that I have a really hard time making friends and finding people with similar interests and stuff (I’m not a very social person anyways but sometimes it’s nice to have people to talk to) and I’m worried that since I have a lot of difficultly talking to new people I’ll just end up alone. I know that you can meet people through clubs but even when I try clubs (like the GSA at my school) I still end up not being able to talk to anyone. Also I’m bi, so I’m kind of worried that my roomate(s) will be uncomfortable with that. ^~^’ I’m also worried I won’t be able to manage everything- time, sleeping properly, eating, studying, stuff like that- and that I’m going to end up doing way worse academically than I am not and just…aaaahhhh
I guess what I’m asking is what is life at college like? Is it as terrifying as it seems to be?
Deep breath. You still have a year and a half to go before you head off to college and in that time you are going to keep growing and developing. Moving in the direction of college life is a process, not a one time discreet all or nothing kind of event, and you will make the adaptations that you need to as you go. Many of the things that you listed such as managing everything, time, sleeping, eating and studying you already are doing to some extent as a late high school student. These are all things that you can plan for ahead of time. If you are already good at managing your responsibilities then the transition to college shouldn’t interfere with that ability–you just have to make a conscious effort to continue to handle those responsibilities. If you are not, you can start to work on improving those skills, and ask your parents to teach you some basics such as laundry, money management, basic cooking, and scheduling.
As far as making friends versus ending up lonely goes, you are going to have to take some risks in relationships if you want your situation to change. If you present as withdrawn, people are going to learn that and not be as likely to approach you. That’s just the way it is. You have to do some of the reaching out whether in the dorm, in classes, in clubs or whatever.
As far as being bi and whether or not that creates discomfort for a roommate, many schools have methods for communicating with potential roommates and through that process you might be able to find a roommate who is not concerned about your sexual preferences. Even without having to be open about it up front, this is less likely to become an issue if you don’t make it one.
Mmm, I wouldn’t say being bisexual is “less likely to become an issue if you don’t make it one.” Bisexuality is an identity, not just sexual practices or preferences, and bisexual (and other queer) folks are not the ones who make it an issue - it’s the folks who have the problem with it who do. However, I will say that there are lots of colleges that are very sensitive to diversity issues, to the LGBTQ/queer community in general, and that have devised all sorts of things to make it easier on queer students in the residence halls. I wouldn’t worry about it overmuch just yet - you’ll have to cross that bridge when you get there.
But yeah, relax! You have plenty of time to learn all this stuff, and nobody is a Perfect Adult when they start college. I know some more grown/older folks who are still not great at managing their time, sleep, eating, etc. To be completely honest I’m still not great at managing to eat at regular intervals, lol!
I want to tell you to relax because you still have half of your junior year and all of your senior year left, but that last year and a half of high school goes by so quickly. I feel like I was a junior just yesterday, but that was three years ago.
You need to make the most of this last year and a half of high school. Try and enjoy yourself now instead of worrying about the future.
I think part of college involves one moving outside of his or her comfort zone. Try to make an effort to make new friends. Put yourself out there, so to speak. I am in my fourth semester, and college students are way more mature than your high school peers. It’s very easy to start a conversation with someone in class. Most people, especially those in your freshman classes, want to make friends. These connections can also help you whenever you miss a class. If you need to catch up on missed notes or assignments, there will be a friend there to help you! Also, you may have a rough time adjusting to college life and all the different aspects of it (sleep, studying, etc.), but if you plan ahead and try to form good, positive habits, you will be fine. Some people go through a rough transitional period, but that is totally natural.
Again, enjoy your last year and a half of high school. You will miss it when it’s gone!
Yes it is horrible. Once a week the RAs come to chew on the bones of the students who failed their chemistry exam.