<p>Hello all. I am a Computer Science student at a well ranked, large state university in the midwest. Lately I have been worried about my chances of getting a job or internship from college, and if my college career will help me in such a competitive job market. I am beginning to think that it may be too late for me, and that I will graduate but not find a career in my field, thus being stuck living at home working in lower wage jobs that don't facilitate a career or the ability to move out.</p>
<p>My worries stem from the fact that I was not able to find an internship for this summer, my junior year of college. Although applying to countless (>50) internships and even having an interview, I ultimately lost out to other peers in the internship market. I am still applying today and will continue to, it's not like I have given up, just that I am a little discouraged and summer is coming very soon. I was basically shown the door at my previous interview when I told them the extent of my skills and experience (which I was very honest about). Now even my dad says that my future is bleak, and that I won't be able to get an internship because it is too competitive. He wants to sell our house and move out to a more rural area in case I cannot find a career from college, in hopes that we could live very frugally and grow our own food. I know it sounds pretty ridiculous, but these are the options we are facing at this point.</p>
<p>I have just above a 3.0 GPA overall, and I study very hard for all of my classes. It frustrates me when I hear peers talking about how they completed a lab assignment or what I would find a difficult assignment in a few hours, when they often take me 15-18 hours to complete, and I still receive a worse grade than average in many cases. I'll never forget the time when I was working on an engineering assignment in a dorm study room, and was struggling to conceptualize/think about and then draw what a shape would look like at a certain angle. One of my female peers encouraged me, and said "You can do it. I know you can!". But I struggled with the (supposed to be easy) assignment and ultimately got a bad grade on it. I sometimes obsess about my assignments and cannot sleep without thinking about them, until I figure out how to do them. I do not go to parties or socialize, and spend all of my free time either studying, researching, or practicing my skills in Computer science, classes, and music. This is what I like to do (I've always been like this) but I have never struggled academically like I have the past few years in college. I know my mediocre GPA will not get me interviews or jobs, and the worse part is that I haven't really completed my more difficult major courses yet, so I may drop below a 3.0 if I get any Cs in any of these classes (which is very common, even for the most intelligent students). Then I know I will be done for in terms of jobs, as most have a 3.0 cutoff in my area. I was a very gifted child, and did very well in all subject matter and had an extensive vocabulary and surprising work ethic when it came to learning. But now I feel like I have fallen behind most of my peers, and find it difficult to maintain a conversation or understand what people are talking about on a conceptual level, even if the subject is not terribly technical to understand. I have been called slow, dumb or retarded for not being able to talk or contribute to conversations, and some people find me stand offish, but really this is just because I have nothing to say, or because I cannot think quickly enough to think of anything to say. </p>
<p>Overall I am just feeling a little bit hopeless about my future, probably because everyone around me said I was very bright and had a bright future ahead of me when I was younger. Now I feel like I will struggle to compete in such a hard economy, and possibly be stuck at home for a long time past college (unless I find roommates, but remember, I'm not the most social guy. I do know some people I could move out with, but most are in the same situation as me). Furthermore, my girlfriend lives across the US and I may not have the financial means to reconnect with her after college. We would like to live together, but it just seems like it may not happen, at least not for a very long time.</p>
It’s evident that the other students thought that it would be easy for them, just like the past assignments, so they did not read the book. But it requires a lot of time and effort to understand. I will probably be above average on the next assignment/midterm which involves this topic! I will make sure to increase my efforts and not slow down or give up. My girlfriend gave me the exact same advice, so it must be true. Thank you again.</p>