I believe all schools have a pretty big party component and if they tell you they don’t they are not tellign the truth. I even overheard kids at a “dry” school laughing about how they just go off campus to party. So, you can’t control a darn thing once they leave. Just hope they are chosing to not party for the right reasons. If it is because you will catch them, they will party in college. If it is because they don’t beleive in it, they will find different friends in school and will avoid it. I had two in HS that didn’t party. And found out I had one of each of these…
My DD attends one of the most rigorous schools not known as a party school and the last thing I was thinking when she was applying was that this school has a lot of parties. But it does. She doesn’t drink so it was a little uneasy for her to fit in, but she figured it out. I personally think that school location plays a big role in the amount of parties. For the schools in the remote locations there is nothing else to do on Friday night, but party.
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@garvey I really think it depends on the kid. Miami of Ohio is an excellent school, but there is a good amount of partying. Both of my college students are at schools with a good amount of partying. They definitely go to parties, but they do a good job of prioritizing and balancing.
I think a college with a good social experience is better for students who can balance it. However, if I had a kid who was not good at prioritizing and balancing, I would probably opt for a more toned down experience.
Wait, what does 420 mean?!!!
I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of your responses. At this point, he isn’t too wild a kid - starting to drink a bit with friends, but not (yet) to point where we are too concerned. I guess I do worry that he will find himself so loving the freedom of college and all that entails that he will not be focused on what he’s actually there to do – don’t want him to waste his time- or our $$!
Ok, a trip to urban dictionary and I’ve answered my own question re 420!
Partying, going out and building relationships is more important than studying. You obviously need to do well and get a useful degree, but career success is all about the people you know (unless you want to be a researcher, but that sounds doubtful with miami). A kid who goes out, knows people, has good social skills and a 3.5 will do miles better in his life than someone who doesn’t party with a 4.0.
“A kid who goes out, knows people, has good social skills and a 3.5 will do miles better in his life than someone who doesn’t party with a 4.0.”
So, those are the only two options to choose from?? That’s an oversimplification.
@doschicos those aren’t my words they’re yours. All I’m saying is partying, to some extent, really helps with career success. I can’t really think of any exceptions. What else could someone be doing that’s so important on a Friday/Saturday night? It’s not like an extra 3 hours of studying would do any good
Not all socializing equals partying. I’m not knocking partying as my kids do it but I don’t see a direct correlation that partying = better job prospects. Not partying doesn’t mean studying is the only option either. I also think most parents aren’t concerned about a little letting the hair down on a Friday and/or Saturday. Schools with a reputation for partying usually have an atmosphere of partying that extends beyond the weekend.
If you’re going into any kind of non-academic profession, maybe excluding doctors too, you need to be able to party if you want to make it anywhere. Every successful lawyer, businessman, accountant, you name it parties or has partied in the past. That’s how you meet your clients and bring business in. I mean, I’m not just making this stuff up, and it isn’t coming from me. I think all of the partners I’ve talked with would agree with this, and they have told me this.
I’m not saying someone should join a fraternity and go out 6 nights a week and blow off school, but I think “going out” is a very important skill, moreso than grades for most things.
And by party I don’t necessarily mean going out and getting wasted, but even that is something students should have some exposure too from time to time
Actually, most of the parties involving post-undergrad life with the possible exceptions of individuals/groups who haven’t outgrown their middle/HS/prioritization of beer/partying double major after college are more professional and dare I say it…“civilized” affairs compared with what I’ve observed on campuses with the heavy drinking/partying cultures dynamic which is often what most parents and students mean when they ask/express concerns about “party schools”.
Also, learning how to socialize doesn’t require one to attend parties or even be social during undergrad. Knew plenty of folks…including some on the spectrum* with serious social awkwardness in HS/college who have managed to adjust very well and even bloom professionally and socially after undergrad.
Especially considering most post-undergrad parties IME are populated by more mature adults who have left the wild “party school” antics well behind by the time they graduated…or just as often opted to never partake during their undergrad years.
- One of them is a successful attorney who is not only active in his professional associations, but also active and a respected up-and-coming leader in many non-professional associations such as the local chapters of his preferred political party and pastimes.
@carolinahbrahh Your post #29 is not accurate. Good social skills and verbal communication skills, yes, those come in handy. Partying skills, no, not necessary. Being someone who has worked in the business world for more decades than you’ve been alive, my first hand experiences and my observations of many, many people in successful professions tells me otherwise. It’s just not as black and white as you make it out to be. I guess all those Mormons are unsuccessful (just to bring up one example to the contrary)?
I agree that many of us who had varying degrees of partying in college are very successful in our careers and do just fine socializing. Personally, I don’t feel the two are very closely connected at all.
Or the fundamentalist evangelical branch of my extended family and their church membership who are practically teetolers and strongly against consumption of alcoholic beverages
Would be news to them considering many of them are successful professionals in many areas…including senior execs in corporate America, ibanks, engineering/CS/tech…including Silicon Valley, biglaw, etc. Most have been successful at it for decades…not just a few years out of undergrad.
Conversely, a few folks I knew who embraced the party/beer major at their respective party schools…including an older cousin ended up crashing and burning careerwise precisely because their inability to leave behind the middle school-undergrad party antic excesses caught up with them not too long after college. A few even have felony convictions on their records which means the careers they trained for/aspired to are permanently closed to them.
Well, all of the partners at my relatives law firm partied when they were young, that’s how they got all of their clients. Some of them are pretty old now and don’t anymore. Some of the younger partners go out 4 nights a week with their clients and they bring in 800k a year. The ones who don’t have those skills never made partner and sit in the back office, make 80-120k a year and do the flunky work for the lawyers who have those skills and bring in the clients.
Your child is still with you at home and presumably still a minor. Ensure your child is educated about the risks involved with excessive drinking, drug use, unprotected sex, etc… Too bad if your kid rolls his eyes. Your kid will party if that is what he wants to do. I think the important thing is to be sure your kid knows how to survive unscathed.
Another thing that adds some backing to what I’m saying is that 18 US presidents were in fraternities, 76% of senators historically, and 85% of Fortune 500 CEOs
As a graduate of a perennial TOP 10 party school, Ohio University. I can assure you that you can successfully attend a party school and not partake of the party atmosphere without feeling left out and ostracized . A party school is what YOU make it. If you think your kid doesn’t have enough self control and or ability to resist peer pressure to avoid excessive partying, perhaps they are not ready to go to college?
I am not sure that attending a party means you have to deal with “fallout” of those crazy excessive partiers to the point that it is burdensome and noxious. Yes, I had to step over vomit a few times, learn how to deal with a difficult drunk yeah maybe once or twice, noise happens but my current college freshman is in an all girls, generally very quiet dorm and has to deal with noise issue too. These are all learning experiences and frankly a part of life.
My kid goes to a big party school. I was concerned at first but came to the conclusion that all schools have parties. Many of the students get upset when you call their school a party school and quick to tell you they study hard to party hard. Son goes to some parties and sit some them out. A kid is going to find like minded kids to hang out with.