Worst Titles for College Essays

<p>“I like 12 year olds”
“Puberty: How I became ugly”</p>

<p>“World of Warcraft: Adventures of a lvl 20 Mage.”
“What I will bring to your school’s party scene”</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>My favorite.</p>

<p>The Reflections theme for 2011-2012 is “Diversity means…” so I’m stealing this title for a not-so-satirical rant on AA. :D</p>

<p>That’s my favorite too, 314159265! Haha yeah use it and let me know how that goes… ;)</p>

<p>sʎɐssǝ uʍop ǝpısdn ɟo ǝɔuǝıɔs ǝɥʇ</p>

<p>“Guess why my wood is no longer then 5 inches?”</p>

<p>wait wut</p>

<p>My Precious: Why I believe in Middle Earth</p>

<p>Suck it: The creation of lollipops</p>

<p>

■■■■■ my favorite so far. </p>

<p>“An elementary struggle: why my third grade teacher gave me detentioin”</p>

<p>“What accidentally taking the wrong subway to Harlem one time taught me about diversity”</p>

<p>“What having to settle for the Audi instead of the Corvette taught me about disappointment: the struggles of the upper class”</p>

<p>“The development of my passion for History upon realizing how bad I am at everything else”</p>

<p>I’ve Stalked You on Facebook: My Passion for the College Admissions Process</p>

<p>My hero: tiger woods</p>

<p>“THE COLLEGE ESSAY”</p>

<p>• • • • • • • • •</p>

<p>ya, it’s lame as a duck fart.</p>

<p>“Why Colleges Are Stupid”</p>

<p>“They’re Our So Many Collages but Why I picked You’res”</p>

<p>“Internet Porn, LSD, and Gang Violence: How I spend my Free Time.”</p>

<p>“Robbing Banks and Ponzi Schemes: My plan after college.”</p>

<p>“I murder bunnies for fun.”</p>

<p>“The Next Two Girls & One Cup: My ideas to improve the world.”</p>

<p>“Take me to your leader: My experiences with Aliens.”</p>

<p>Sorry if anyone’s offended.</p>

<p>Overcoming adversity: A tragic tale of coping with a B+ in 9th grade Home Economics</p>

<p>My hero: How Jack Bauer influenced my decision to torture my English teacher until she raised my grade from a 99 to a 100 on a homework assignment</p>

<p>Settling for less: How I contemplated suicide after receving a 2380 on the SAT</p>

<p>My epic struggle to secure a spot on the JV team</p>

<p>Why I chose this school as my safety</p>

<p>What Sparknotes taught me about appreciating great literature</p>

<p>Growing up with abusive parents: The lessons I learned about growing up underprivileged when my parents refused to buy me another iPhone after I broke my 15th one</p>

<p>The gateway meat: How consuming my neighbor helped me to appreciate the deliciousness of human flesh</p>

<p>Innocent until proven guilty: I didn’t deserve the detention I got in 6th grade</p>

<p>Got a couple more:</p>

<p>Abortion: How I obtain my favorite food</p>

<p>Long Wang: The life story of an African American adopted by Asian parents (and the writer of the essay is actually Asian)</p>

<p>Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Bone: The magic of unprotected sex</p>

<p>“8=D - -O” - What I really learned from my algebra teacher</p>

<p>Jeffrey Dahmer: How I taught my best friend to BTK </p>

<p>From A to D: How getting breast implants affected my freshman year grades</p>

<p>“Why my AP teachers inflated my grades”
“Why I am too good for you school”
“A comprehensive list of my awards”</p>

<p>‘Deception, Corruption and Exploitation: An insight into our top universities’</p>

<p>‘A dummies guide to relationships with your professor’</p>

<p>‘I sued my college, now you can too!’</p>

<p>‘Why bigotry is the new tolerance’</p>

<p>‘Me, Myself and Redtube: A modern day love story’</p>