Would I Fit in at Notre Dame? (LGBT at ND?)

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Notre Dame
1

After visiting campus, it was pretty impossible to not fall in love with Notre Dame. However, I have one preeeeeetty major issue with the school: I’m an “out” homosexual male, and the school’s stance on homosexuality is 175% clear. I’ve grown up attending Catholic schools, but none of them have been anywhere near as religious as Notre Dame, so I’m really worried about attending a university that essentially thinks I’m a walking bag of sin. Most of the students seemed to be pretty nice, but I’ve read a few blogs by homosexual students at Notre Dame and they seem to have had pretty bad experiences, from feeling “forced” to fight for LGBT rights to feeling excluded from the whole idea of the Notre Dame family itself for all four years.

I’m currently choosing between Notre Dame, Emory and USoCal for a biology major on a premed track; Notre Dame’s the most prestigious of the three here the east coast, but I like the other two institutions a lot and they, at least, have a few LGBT organizations.

So I guess my main question is would it be worth attending ND as a homosexual student, or should I look more towards attending one of my other choices? Thanks!

2

OP, there was an earlier discussion on this that you might find helpful: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-notre-dame/1864992-would-it-be-safer-to-just-go-elsewhere-as-a-gay-student.html#latest

3

As you know, the Catholic Church teaches that homosexual activities are seriously sinful. Pope Francis made that clear in his most recent document on the family. That teaching is not going away. The Church also teaches that all people should be treated with dignity and understanding. Notre Dame is a Catholic university that (mostly) takes seriously its Catholic mission. If you come in with a chip on your shoulder and the mistaken assumption that you will be singled out as a walking bag of sin (because we are all walking bags of sin), you’re not going to have a good experience. If you expect the university and ALL of your fellow students to regard homosexual activities as perfectly acceptable, as though you were on a secular campus, you’re not going to have a good experience. But you might be surprised to find that most of your classmates will be completely accepting of you as an individual, and really won’t be interested in your sexual orientation, unless you constantly make an issue out of it. Most of your classmates either don’t understand or don’t agree with Church teachings on homosexuality anyhow, for what it’s worth.

It can be a mistake to base your college decision on what a handful of unhappy students post online – for example, no one is “forced” to fight for LGBT rights, and it’s your choice whether to allow yourself to feel excluded from the ND family. All students are part of the family, which is one of the things that makes ND such a special place.

So it’s really up to you. There is a University-sponsored organization for gay students, but it operates in accord with Church teachings. If that isn’t what you are looking for, then you are wise seriously to consider enrolling elsewhere. But if you fell in love with the school on your visit, it might be exactly the right place for you.

4

I am getting ready to send my third child to nd in August. We have had a child enrolled here continuously for 8 years. I can only speak for the experiences my kids have had, but they have had several friends who are openly gay and it has never been an issue. The culture of the kids and the school, as far as they are concerned, has been accepting to much that is against church teaching. They all seem to be rather matter of fact about it. Again I can only go by the experiences of my kids but it wouldnt seem to be an issue unless you make it one. Only you can decide what school is the right one for you but please don’t let worry about this one thing be the deciding factor. All of your choices are wonderful options with much to offer students, I do admit though that Notre Dame is a place I have come to dearly love and wish that everyone could experience!

5

I’ve often wanted to comment on this topic, but have held back. I have a whole essay on this and other related issues and it really is too much for the comment section.

But I’ve got to try to be succinct here.

OP, you said that you are worried about attending a University that thinks you are a walking bag of sin.

I’m not Catholic. I’m married to a Catholic and we’ve raised our children to be Catholic. But mostly I’ve had the benefit of observing Catholics for many years at Catholic schools and other places.

I have a friend who is Catholic and has two kids. She and her husband use birth control. The Catholic church teaches that birth control is wrong. I asked her what she thought about that. She said she had made a decision about their family and came to terms with disagreeing with the church on this issue. She still belongs to the Catholic Church for values, community, tradition and culture and all the religious teachings especially.

Now OP, if you go to a Catholic school, look around you. How many families in your school have six or more children?Not that many, right? It is very likely many other families use birth control. And not one of them comes on CC Notre Dame post to ask if they will be welcome at Notre Dame.

Now think of all the other things that the Catholic Church frowns upon, and all the students who might do some of those things who will be attending Notre Dame. I bet very very few of them worry about whether they will be welcomed at ND.

You certainly wouldn’t be alone at ND in living some aspect of your life different from Catholic teaching.

Notre Dame itself has under taken some controversial moves. Do you know who gave the 2009 commencement address? Barack Obama. Some folks were pretty upset about this due to Obama’s views on abortion. You might want to see this on youtube.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWwwIIkhzls

Think about other notable actions by Catholics in the news - my favorite example: Nuns on the Bus who openly disagree with Catholic Bishops on some issues and have faced flack for that.

Look, there’s a lot going on in Catholicism today. And a cross section of those views come to Notre Dame.

From a personal perspective, I would be very unhappy if anyone felt unwelcome at the school my children attend. So I hope you attend Notre Dame if that is your wish. I’ll tell you one thing, you will have two friends there - my kids.

6

You should be fine. I asked several current students and they expressed this is mostly a non-issue. If you’re in love with Notre Dame, then go.

One thing I did notice was that once you’re a student, no one is going to shove Catholicism and their beliefs in your face, and students, like at most universities, tend to adopt a more open attitude about these things. I sincerely wish you the best, and if you do decide on ND, perhaps we’ll meet, and I certainly am one of the students who will be there with more open views, along with many of your peers. Good luck on your decision!

7

Thanks so much to all of you for replying! I’ll be the first to admit that my post wasn’t much more than the product of a minor panic attack I had after reading an article by a lesbian Notre Dame student (which essentially said “I hated it here”) but after reading your responses - and reaching out to some current students - I’m very glad to say that I’m enrolled at Notre Dame and will be starting my freshman year there this August.

The fact of the matter is that no matter what school I attend, there are going to be people who don’t care what my sexuality is and those who won’t get along with me because of it (but everyone has friends and enemies regardless of their sexuality, so this really isn’t a unique experience to me), but something about Notre Dame just feels right. I went back for a second visit to campus and still felt the exact same at home feeling I had the first time, and that isn’t something I could shake and I’m glad that I went with my gut.

I was a bit worried about the random residence hall and roomate assignment (I ended up in Mod Quad, send your prayers), but my roomate is completely unbothered by my sexuality and so are his friends he’s introduced me to, which honestly makes me pretty hopeful for meeting others who don’t mind. I’m incredibly excited for the year to start, and I hope this page helps others make the same decision I did.

Again, thanks for the responses - and for helping me decide to attend!

8

Hope you have a wonderful experience at ND.

9

Welcome to the Notre Dame family!!

10

I hope you have a wonderful experience at ND. One thing I have noticed having been a student there 30 years ago and having a son there now is that ND people tend to not look at others through the divisive prisms that much of society does today. Black vs white, gay vs straight, Catholic vs non-Catholic, etc. The ND community is truly a family. Someone’s race or sexuality or religion should not define them.

11

Welcome to the Notre Dame family! It seems to me that you have a good understanding of the challenges ahead but also the great adventure of college! My youngest will also be on Mod Quad as a freshman - in Knott. Know that many of your experiences will not be so different than everyone else’s - some people will like you, others won’t. Some days are great, others are lousy! Good luck, and GO IRISH!