I don’t really trust the online computer grader on the collegeboard website and I don’t have other resources for this so I thought I’d post here lol. Anyways, here’s my essay and I hope you guys can grade/critique me. Thanks sooo much.
Prompt: Is identity something people are born with or given, or is it something people create for themselves?
Essay:
Identity is amalgam of traits you are born with and those you have created for yourself after observation of your environment. Some aspects of your identity are those you cannot change and are born with, for example, your race or sexuality. Others including profession and values are chosen.
A black man is born with his skin color. He cannot change this component of his identity no matter the extent to which he tries to. His skin color is a part of his identity because, whether one wants to admit it or not, he is perceived differently because of it. It is carved into his being. I recently read an essay titled “Black Men and Public Space” which sheds light on black men’s plight with perceptions. Because of their appearance, black men are not rarely victims of profiling. In the essay the author describes his experiences with white women becoming frantic and suspicious around him when he was calmly walking in their vicinity, showing no threatening behavior. The author knows himself to be a kind and nonviolent person but because of the reactions of strangers around him even his view of himself becomes warped. He becomes caught between his vision of himself and the way others perceive him. All this, because of his skin.
In the same spectrum as skin color, sexuality cannot be chosen and is similarly an important part of your identity. It partially defines you; it is responsible for who you fall in love with and how you will live your life. The discrimination the comes with gay, lesbian, bisexual, or even pansexual is a prominent part of why sexuality is so important to identity.
Part of your identity is molded by yourself. Your morals, though influenced by the environment, are mainly controlled by yourself. You have the power to decide what you think is right or wrong. Also, chosen by you is your path in life, whether that be your profession or who you marry or what role you decide to play. Being a father is part of your identity and also entirely in your control. Being a doctor is also both of these things. There are many things that define you that you can have a hand in maintaining.
It is impossible to say whether identity is born with or something people create for themselves because in reality it is both. There are some things that are congenital that make large impacts on identity and others that are completely chosen by you. Identity is something people are born with and something they create for themselves.